Limericks with very strict rules (4) - 88558

No! I get giddy in a lift
It makes me feel a bit adrift
Let's walk by the sea
My good friend and me

No! I get giddy in a lift
It makes me feel a bit adrift
Let’s walk by the sea
My good friend and me
If my shoes get wet, I’ll be miffed.

So I’ll go barefoot in the sand

So I’ll go barefoot in the sand
But won't be holding neighbour's hand

So I’ll go barefoot in the sand
But won't be holding neighbour's hand
She’ll think I am weird

So I’ll go barefoot in the sand
But won't be holding neighbour's hand
She’ll think I am weird
And that I should be feared

So I’ll go barefoot in the sand
But won't be holding neighbour's hand
She’ll think I am weird
And I should be feared
And that was not what I had planned.

I'm hoping we'll be real good chums

I`m hoping we`ll be real good chums
We`re going down to Kent, picking plums

I'm hoping we'll be real good chums
We're going down to Kent, picking plums
We'll sleep in a van

I'm hoping we'll be real good chums
We're going down to Kent, picking plums
We'll sleep in a van
It’s like a tin can

I'm hoping we'll be real good chums
We're going down to Kent, picking plums
We'll sleep in a van
It’s like a tin can
And sometimes the place really hums.

With all those great plums we'll make jam

With all those great plums we'll make jam
It’s yummy with a slice of ham

With all those great plums we’ll make jam
It’s yummy with a slice of ham
Get a piece of bread

With all those great plums we`ll make jam
It`s yummy with a slice of ham
Get a piece of bread
Rub it on your head

With all those great plums we'll make jam
It's yummy with a slice of ham
Get a piece of bread
Rub it on your head
You've gone insane oh blast and damn.

Now the men in white coats rushed round

Now the men in white coats rushed round
Looked for my wits - none could be found

Now the men in white coats rushed round
Looked for my wits - none could be found
No marbles either

Now the men in white coats rushed round
Looked for my wits - none could be found
No marbles either
Common sense, neither

Now the men in white coats rushed round
Looked for my wits, none could be found
No marbles either
Common sense neither
Though physically I was sound!

At least that’s a positive then

At least that’s a positive then
No problem with fighting off men

At least that`s a positive then
No problems with fighting off men
I say "Let `em come"

At least that`s a positive then
No problems with fighting off men
I say "Let `em come"
I'll surely like some

At least that’s a positive then
No problems with fighting off men
I say “Let ‘em come “
I’ll surely like some
But only the creme de la creme

A handsome man is most pleasing

A handsome man is most pleasing,
Lots of women try to seize him

A handsome man is most pleasing,
Lots of women try to seize him
"Ooh, look at that face!"

A handsome man is most pleasing,
Lots of women try to seize him
"Ooh, look at that face!"
But alas, he wears lace