July21 - limericks

An old sailor lived by the coast
Dreaming of girls, left at the ports

Sorry, Crazy, that doesn't rhyme.

An old sailor lived by the coast
Always started each day with toast

An old sailor lived by the coast
Always started each day with toast
Big dollops of jam

An old sailor lived by the coast
Always started each day with toast
Big dollops of jam
Or slices of spam

An old sailor lived by the coast
Always started each day with toast
Big dollops of jam
Or slices of spam
And on Sundays had a big roast

Vegetarian he was not

Vegetarian he was not
Liked plenty of meat, cold or hot

Vegetarian he was not
Liked plenty of meat, cold or hot
Gnawed straight from the bone

Vegetarian he was not
Liked plenty of meat, cold and hot
Gnawed straight from the bone
Which lowered the tone

Vegetarian he was not
Liked plenty of meat, cold and hot
Gnawed straight from the bone
Which lowered the tone
But he seemed not to care a jot

I never keep to recipes

I never keep to recipes
But always hope my food will please

I never keep to recipes
But always hope my food will please
It`s just plain old stuff

I never keep to recipes
But always hope my food will please
It`s just plain old stuff
Most just off the cuff

It's just plain old stuff
Most just off the cuff
I'm hoping it will be enough
To get them out of their silly huffs

I never keep to recipes
But always hope my food will please
It`s just plain old stuff
Most just off the cuff,
But hope that with joy they will seize

A good stew always goes down well

A good stew always goes down well
As they ask for more I can tell

A good stew always goes down well
As they ask for more I can tell
With nice dumplings too

A good stew always goes down well
As they ask for more I can tell
With nice dumplings too
I like quite a few

A good stew always goes down well
As they ask for more I can tell
With nice dumplings too
I like quite a few
My tummy is starting to swell.

I'm either pregnant or greedy

I'm either pregnant or greedy
Where food is concerned, I’m needy

I`m either pregnant or greedy
Where food is concerned, I`m needy
I try to limit

I'm either pregnant or greedy
Where food is concerned, I'm needy
I try to limit
Calories which hit

I`m either pregnant or greedy
Where food is concerned, I`m needy
I try to limit
Calories which hit
The parts I want to be weedy

But the pounds still refuse to shift

But the pounds still refuse to shift
And generally I'm so miffed

But the pounds still refuse to shift
And generally I'm so miffed
Daily walks don’t help

But the pounds still refuse to shift
And generally I`m so miffed
Daily walks don`t help
Just make my feet yelp