LIMERICKS WITH VERY STRICT RULES - 88558 - (4)

I`m really quite popular here
That`s `cos I always buy the beer

I`m really quite popular here
That`s `cos I always buy the beer
It’s drinks all around

I`m really quite popular here
That`s `cos I always buy the beer
It’s drinks all around
‘Til all worries drowned

I`m really quite popular here
That`s `cos I always buy the beer
It’s drinks all around
‘Til all worries drowned
And everyone then starts to cheer.

I'm trying to give up the ale

I'm trying to give up the ale
Because drinking it lands me in jail

I’m trying to give up the ale
Because drinking it lands me in jail
Don’t change to brandy!

I’m trying to give up the ale
Because drinking it lands me in jail
Don’t change to brandy!
Best to eat candy

I’m trying to give up the ale
'Cos drinking it lands me in jail
Don’t change to brandy!
Best to eat candy
It saves us from posting your bail.

My best friend was once a 'copper'

My best friend once was a copper
Did what was right and was proper

My best friend once was a copper
Did what was right and was proper
She’d follow the rules

My best friend once was a copper
Did what was right and was proper
She’d follow the rules
Didn't tolerate fools

My best friend once was a copper
Did what was right and was proper
She’d follow the rules
Didn't tolerate fools
But one day she came a cropper

She fell in love with a felon

She fell in love with a felon
Who one falls for there’s no tell’n

She fell in love with a felon
Who one falls for, there’s no tell’s
He stole her heart

She fell in love with a felon
Who one falls for, there’s no tell’n
He stole her heart
Said they’d never part

She fell in love with a felon
Who one falls for, there's no tell'n
He stole her heart
Said they'd never part
He carved a heart on a melon.

But her father heard tell of this

But her father heard tell of this
And found out, alas, of their kiss

But her father heard tell of this
And found out, alas, of their kiss
His wrath was profound

But her father heard tell of this
And found out, alas, of their kiss
His wrath was profound
That man he would hound

But her father heard tell of this
And found out, alas, of their kiss
His wrath was profound
That man he would hound
And would push him into an abyss.

Of such stories our headlines are made

Of such stories our headlines are made
They love a dramatic tirade

Of such stories our headlines are made
They love a dramatic tirade
Such scandals are rife

Of such stories are headlines made
They love a dramatic tirade
Such scandals are rife
Reflecting real life

Of such stories are headlines made,
They love a dramatic tirade
Such scandals are rife
Reflecting real life
Novelists use them and get paid.

I wish I could write a good book

I wish I could write a good book
Tried once, but was told “sling your hook”