LIMERICKS WITH VERY STRICT RULES - 88558 - (4)

I was hoping for the silver
There's a piece that I would kill for

I was hoping for the silver
There's a piece that I would kill for
Then I'll have the gold

I was hoping for the silver
There's a piece that I would kill for
Then I'll have the gold
Well, that's very bold!

I was hoping for the silver
There's a piece that I would kill for
Then I'll have the gold
Well, that's very bold!
As for me, there's nothing I'd pilfer.

I never show off with my jewels

I never show off with my jewels
In some their envy it fuels

I never show off with my jewels
In some their envy it fuels
Well, mine are all junk

I never show off with my jewels
In some their envy it fuels
Well, mine are all junk
They clank and they clunk

I never show off with my jewels
In some their envy it fuels
Well, mine are all junk
They clank and they clunk
But bigger and better than ‘yawls’

I once had an uncle called Tom

I once had an uncle called Tom
Who found a large smouldering bomb ?

I once had an uncle called Tom
Who found a large smouldering bomb ?
"Run" he screamed loudly

I once had an uncle called Tom
Who found a large smouldering bomb ?
"Run" he screamed loudly
But no noise allowed. He

I once had an uncle called Tom
Who found a large smouldering bomb ?
"Run" he screamed loudly
But no noise allowed. He
Det’nated it with great aplomb

He was the hero of the hour

He was the hero of the hour
Who liked to wear a purple flower

He was the hero of the hour
Who liked to wear a purple flower
He wore it with pride

He was the hero of the hour
Who liked to wear a purple flower
He wore it with pride
On a horse he would ride

He was the hero of the hour
Who liked to wear a purple flower
He wore it with pride
On a horse he would ride
Then sing loudly in the shower.

His wife shouted, "Do stop that noise"

His wife shouted, "Do stop that noise"
You're going to wake up the boys

His wife shouted, "Do stop that noise"
You're going to wake up the boys
You’re no Placido

His wife shouted, "Do stop that noise"
You're going to wake up the boys
You’re no Placido
Kill my libido

His wife shouted, "Do stop that noise"
You're going to wake up the boys
You’re no Placido
Kill my libido
And the neighbors most likely annoys.

Try just humming softly instead

Try just humming softly instead
It will clear the fuzz in my head

Try just humming softly instead
It will clear the fuzz in my head
He sounded much better

Try just humming softly instead
It will clear the fuzz in my head
He sounded much better
In his Fair Isle sweater

Try just humming softly instead
It will clear the fuzz in my head
He sounded much better
In his Fair Isle sweater
The dominant colour being red

The hair on my head’s turning grey

The hair on my head’s turning grey
So I'm having highlights today