July 21 Limericks

The big tree at the end of my garden
Resembles the Forest of Arden
With leaves turning gold
A sight to behold
I need to call tree surgeon Ben.

'It just needs trimming' I told him

'It just needs trimming' I told him,
He climbs the ladder, I hold him,

'It just needs trimming' I told him,
He climbs the ladder, I hold him
The ladder then swayed

'It just needs trimming' I told him,
He climbs the ladder, I hold him
The ladder then swayed,
I knelt down and prayed,

It just needs trimming' I told him,
He climbs the ladder, I hold him
The ladder then swayed,
I knelt down and prayed,
As poor Ben swung out on a limb

The ladder fell flat on the lawn

The ladder fell flat on the lawn
Ben flew up in the air to he dawn

The ladder fell flat on the lawn
Ben flew up in the air to he dawn
He screamed and he yelled

The ladder fell flat on the lawn
Ben flew up in the air to the dawn
He screamed and he yelled
But I caught him and held

The ladder fell flat on the lawn
Ben flew up in the air to the dawn
He screamed and he yelled
But I caught him and held
And shouted loud, until the morn

The dawn chorus drowned out the screams

The dawn chorus drowned out the screams
Though Ben was the man of my dreams…

The dawn chorus drowned out the screams
Though Ben was the man of my dreams
I cradled his head

The dawn chorus drowned out the screams
Though Ben was the man of my dreams
I cradled his head
I took him to bed

The dawn chorus drowned out the screams
Though Ben was the man of my dreams
I cradled his head
Administered pink med’

The dawn chorus drowned out the screams
Though Ben was the man of my dreams
I cradled his head
I took him to bed
He woke up, much better, it seems.

My garden has got a good soak

My garden has got a good soak
Especially the part by the oak

My garden has got a good soak
Especially the part by the oak
But oh dear... wet leaves

My garden has got a good soak
Especially the part by the oak
But oh dear... wet leaves.
I slipped, hurt my knees

My garden has got a good soak
Especially the part by the oak
But oh dear... wet leaves.
I slipped, hurt my knees
Got pulled up by some good folk.

If you venture out in a frock

If you venture out in a frock
You look like a bloomin’ old crock

If you venture out in a frock
You look like a bloomin’ old crock
Might attract some attention

If you venture out in a frock
You look like a bloomin' old crock
Might attract some attention
The sort we won't mention,

If you venture out in a frock
You look like a bloomin' old crock
Might attract some attention
The sort we won't mention,
Just sail by - remember, you rock!

I awoke after an interesting dream

I awoke after an interesting dream
I lay in a bath of icecream

I awoke after an interesting dream
I lay in a bath of ice cream,
Vanilla I think

I awoke after an interesting dream
I lay in a bath of ice cream,
Vanilla I think
Though there was some pink