July 21 Limericks

Plenty of fibre we must take
And so Scottish oats we should bake
With Apple crumble
I’ve tummy rumble!
The bran muffins were a mistake.

Maybe a diet that's blander?

Maybe a diet that's blander
Would suit a naval commander

Maybe a diet that's blander
Would suit a naval commander
But I need ‘spicy’

Maybe a diet that's blander
Would suit a naval commander
But I need ‘spicy’
If not too pricey

Maybe a diet that's blander
Would suit a naval commander
But I need ‘spicy’
If not too pricey
As does my friend, Alexander.

He does love a curry that's hot

He does love a curry that's hot
So that’s why I’ve been out and bought

He does love a curry that's hot
So that’s why I’ve been out and bought
Chillis and garlic

He does love a curry that's hot
So that’s why I’ve been out and bought
Chillis and ginger

He does love a curry that's hot
So that's why I've been out and bought
Chillis and ginger
Else he's a whinger

He does love a curry that's hot
So that's why I've been out and bought
Chillis and ginger
Else he's a whinger
Add some senna – that way he'll be taught

As no first line was left -use this

As no first line was left -use this,
A very good idea, young Miss,

As no first line was left -use this,
A very good idea, young Miss,
So, Juliet, thanks

As no first line was left - use this
A very good idea, young Miss
So, Juliet, thanks
Our usual pranks

As no first line was left - use this
A very good idea, young Miss
So, Juliet, thanks
Our usual pranks
The odd error we can dismiss.

What a miserable, dreary day

What a miserable, dreary day
I'm ready for it to be May

What a miserable, dreary day
I'm ready for it to be May
It's pelting it down

What a miserable, dreary day
I'm ready for it to be May
It's pelting it down
My plants, they could drown

What a miserable, dreary day
I’m ready for it to be May
It’s pelting it down
My plants, they could drown
If they could speak, what would they say?

It’s getting dark so early now

It’s getting dark so early now
Got to go out, to feed the cow

It’s getting dark so early now
Got to go out, to feed the cow
There's ice on the path

It’s getting dark so early now
Got to go out, to feed the cow
There's ice on the path
And time for a bath

It’s getting dark so early now
Got to go out, to feed the cow
There's ice on the path
And time for a bath
Duty first or there'll be a row.

Limericks can be confusing!

Limericks can be confusing!
But often very amusing

Limericks can be confusing!
But often very amusing
I like them funny