More limericks with very strict rules and I'm standing by with a metre stick ;)

Does your dog try grooming your ear?
Well listen, there's nothing to fear

He'll give it a lick,
Then offer a stick.

Does your dog try grooming your ear?
His slather makes me feel queer

[just tidying up]

Does your dog try grooming your ear?
Well listen, there's nothing to fear
He'll give it a lick,
Then offer a stick.
His slather makes me feel queer

When our government's in some bother

When our government's in some bother
To turn off the TV I would rawther

Somehow, my last line got mixed up with an ad. So, here's our limerick (so far) again, edited so you Brits can feel more at home with it:

When our government's in some bother
To turn off the telly I'd rawther

When our government's in some bother
To turn off the telly I'd rawther
Likewise news of tHeM

When our government's in some bother
To turn off the telly I'd rawther
Likewise news of tHeM
Wish we could condemn

When our government's in some bother
To turn off the telly I'd rawther
Likewise news of tHeM
Wish we could condemn
Her and the poor little brother

We're all like some moths to a flame

When our government's in some bother
To turn off the telly I'd rawther
Likewise news of tHeM
Wish we could condemn
Them to silence please, dear mother.

I wore my red dress to a ball

I wore my red dress to a ball
Hoped at my feet the men would fall

I wore my red dress to a ball
Hoped at my feet the men would fall
But they all were so tipsy

I wore my red dress to a ball
Hoped at my feet the men would fall
But they all were so tipsy,
Noticed not my bitsy

I wore my red dress to a ball
Hoped at my feet the men would fall
But they they were all so tipsy
Noticed not my bitsy
I stood by the edge of the wall.

We're all like some moths to a flame

We're all like some moths to a flame
When playing the seduction game

We're all like some moths to a flame
When playing the seduction game
Mutton dressed as lamb

We're all like some moths to a flame
When playing the seduction game
Mutton dressed as lamb
Sadly it’s a sham

We're all like some moths to a flame
When playing the seduction game
Mutton dressed as lamb
Sadly it’s a sham
But at least I've achieved my aim

The price of gin is quite a lot

The price of gin is quite a lot
Should I spend it? No, I should not.

The price of gin is quite a lot
Should I spend it? No, I should not.
Put the kettle on

The price of gin is quite a lot
Should I spend it? No, I should not.
Put the kettle on
Nibble a bourbon

The price of gin is quite a lot
Should I spend it? No, I should not.
Put the kettle on
Nibble a bourbon
And sip a cup of tea that’s hot.

A custard cream is my first choice

A custard cream is my first choice
Say digestive, you’ll hear my voice

A custard cream is my first choice
Say digestive, you’ll hear my voice
A Nice is quite nice

A custard cream is my first choice
Say digestive, you’ll hear my voice
A Nice is quite nice
Hobnobs are my vice