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Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

(1001 Posts)
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GoldenLady Sat 08-Jul-23 14:25:04

At limerick writing I'm bad

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Crocus5 Tue 01-Aug-23 12:47:57

I’m fed up with planning our meals
Especially the ones with tinned eels
Get a take-a-way

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GoldenLady Tue 01-Aug-23 14:54:11

I’m fed up with planning our meals
Especially the ones with tinned eels
Get a take-a-way
Much better, I'd say!

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Salti Tue 01-Aug-23 15:15:21

I’m fed up with planning our meals
Especially the ones with tinned eels
Get a take-a-way
Much better, I'd say!
I'm lazy is what this reveals

I don't like beefburgers or chips

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Wyllow3 Tue 01-Aug-23 16:21:24

I don't like beefburgers or chips
They aren't too good for my hips

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crazyH Tue 01-Aug-23 16:43:04

I don't like beefburgers or chips
They aren't too good for my hips
So salad it is

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Grantanow Tue 01-Aug-23 17:43:56

I don't like beefburgers or chips
They aren't too good for my hips
So salad it is
Or else it's a miss

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NanKate Tue 01-Aug-23 21:23:58

I don't like beefburgers or chips
They aren't too good for my hips
So salad it is
Or else it's a miss
And occasionally a packet of crisps

A Bacardi is my special treat

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Salti Tue 01-Aug-23 21:44:05

A Bacardi is my special treat
And sometimes I just have to cheat

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Squiffy Tue 01-Aug-23 22:39:27

A Bacardi is my special treat
And sometimes I just have to cheat
Add crisps and a cake

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Juliet27 Wed 02-Aug-23 07:50:57

A Bacardi is my special treat
And sometimes I just have to cheat
Add crisps and a cake
A party I’ll make

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crazyH Wed 02-Aug-23 08:29:21

A Bacardi is my special treat
And sometimes I just have to cheat
Add crisps and a cake
A party I’ll make
This middle-age spread I can’t beat

It’s true I look like a clothes ‘horse’

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Wyllow3 Wed 02-Aug-23 08:33:32

It’s true I look like a clothes ‘horse’
The slim and nimble sort, of course

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Salti Wed 02-Aug-23 08:59:23

It’s true I look like a clothes ‘horse’
The slim and nimble sort, of course
My mirror tells lies

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Bellanonna Wed 02-Aug-23 09:36:58

It’s true I look like a clothes ‘horse’
The slim and nimble sort, of course
My mirror tells lies
They’re never my thighs!

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VB000 Wed 02-Aug-23 09:44:22

It’s true I look like a clothes ‘horse’
The slim and nimble sort, of course
My mirror tells lies
They’re never my thighs!
The diet I'll have to enforce

I wish I could look like Twiggy

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Bellanonna Wed 02-Aug-23 09:59:49

I wish I could look like Twiggy
Instead of an overgrown piggy

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Squiffy Wed 02-Aug-23 10:47:28

I wish I could look like Twiggy
Instead of an overgrown piggy
I must cut out treats

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Wyllow3 Wed 02-Aug-23 10:55:50

Squiffy

I wish I could look like Twiggy
Instead of an overgrown piggy
I must cut out treats

Eat only lean meats

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henetha Wed 02-Aug-23 12:57:16

I wish I could look like Twiggy
Instead of an overgrown piggy
I must cut out treats
Eat only lean meats
So I could be smaller, not Biggy.

And then I'll need lots of new clothes

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Jangran99 Wed 02-Aug-23 16:15:38

And then I'll need lots of new clothes,
I like those with buttons and bows

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GoldenLady Wed 02-Aug-23 16:23:09

And then I'll need lots of new clothes,
I like those with buttons and bows
I will look thin and svelte

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foxie48 Wed 02-Aug-23 19:17:55

And then I'll need lots of new clothes,
I like those with buttons and bows
I will look thin and svelte
wear a shiny leather belt

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p0Sy Wed 02-Aug-23 22:46:27

And then I'll need lots of new clothes
I like those with buttons and bows
I will look thin and svelte
Wear a shiny leather belt
Pure glamour, from head down to toes

I'm often asked 'Are you a model?'

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Salti Thu 03-Aug-23 08:13:40

I'm often asked 'Are you a model?'
"For ducks?" Have you seen my waddle?

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FarNorth Thu 03-Aug-23 08:40:53

I'm often asked 'Are you a model?'
"For ducks?" Have you seen my waddle?
I'm so far from glam

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