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Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

(1001 Posts)
GoldenLady Sat 08-Jul-23 14:25:04

At limerick writing I'm bad

Squiffy Fri 04-Aug-23 15:35:11

But now he has lost his good looks
How to get back in their good books?
He could cook a meal
To test how they’d feel

henetha Sat 05-Aug-23 10:29:42

But now he has lost his good looks
How to get back in their good books?
He could cook a meal
To test how they’d feel,
But he might just poison their chooks.

Salmonella's a nasty bug

crazyH Sat 05-Aug-23 11:50:48

Salmonella's a nasty bug
If you have caught it, please don’t hug

GoldenLady Sat 05-Aug-23 16:14:40

Salmonella's a nasty bug
If you have caught it, please don’t hug
People get it from food

Scribbles Sat 05-Aug-23 23:46:40

Salmonella's a nasty bug
If you have caught it, please don’t hug
People get it from food
It can ruin the mood

nanna8 Sun 06-Aug-23 00:04:53

Salmonella’s a nasty bug
If you have caught it, please don’t hug
People get it from food
It can ruin the mood
When you smile,then run for a chug!

When it’s cold you long for the sun

Bellanonna Sun 06-Aug-23 00:11:33

When it’s cold you long for the sun
In summer a heatwave’s no fun

Mollygo Sun 06-Aug-23 07:46:50

When it’s cold you long for the sun
In summer a heatwave’s no fun
We’re not satisfied

crazyH Sun 06-Aug-23 09:27:17

When it’s cold you long for the sun
In summer a heatwave’s no fun
We’re not satisfied
Till clothes are sun dried

Salti Sun 06-Aug-23 10:05:01

When it’s cold you long for the sun
In summer a heatwave’s no fun
We’re not satisfied
Till clothes are sun dried
And all of the ironing's done

Housework is such a waste of time

henetha Sun 06-Aug-23 11:29:02

Housework is such a waste of time
Every four years I do mine,

Scribbles Sun 06-Aug-23 15:15:00

Housework is such a waste of time
Every four years I do mine,
I'll dust and I'll sweep

GoldenLady Sun 06-Aug-23 15:36:22

Housework is such a waste of time
Every four years I do mine,
I'll dust and I'll sweep
Then I'll go back to sleep

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 06-Aug-23 20:07:28

Housework is such a waste of time
Every four years I do mine
I'll dust and I'll sweep
Then I'll go back to sleep
The dust came back, it's a crime.

I like to think I'm bohemian

Bellanonna Sun 06-Aug-23 21:26:17

I like to think I'm bohemian
Though my background is mostly Slovenian

Squiffy Sun 06-Aug-23 22:24:11

I like to think I'm bohemian
Though my background is mostly Slovenian
I’m very confused

Scribbles Mon 07-Aug-23 07:50:41

I like to think I'm bohemian
Though my background is mostly Slovenian
I’m very confused
Though some are amused

VB000 Mon 07-Aug-23 10:19:42

I like to think I'm bohemian
Though my background is mostly Slovenian
I’m very confused
Though some are amused
Dad was such a comedian

We all went along to the fete

Bellanonna Mon 07-Aug-23 10:21:33

We all went along to the fete
A fiver to pay at the gate

henetha Mon 07-Aug-23 10:21:52

We all went along to the fete
And lovely hot dogs we ate

henetha Mon 07-Aug-23 10:23:05

Sorry...

We all went along to the fete
A fiver to pay at the gate
It's well worth the cost

Salti Mon 07-Aug-23 13:42:41

We all went along to the fete
A fiver to pay at the gate
It's well worth the cost
We'll no doubt get sloshed

Scribbles Mon 07-Aug-23 17:50:42

We all went along to the fete
A fiver to pay at the gate
It's well worth the cost
We'll no doubt get sloshed
And in the loo-queue have to wait 😵‍💫

I went on a day-trip to France

crazyH Mon 07-Aug-23 20:05:45

I went on a day-trip to France
Hoping, a Frenchman I would chance

Wyllow3 Mon 07-Aug-23 20:44:22

I went on a day-trip to France
Hoping, a Frenchman I would chance
So I entered a bar

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