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Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

(1001 Posts)
GoldenLady Sat 08-Jul-23 14:25:04

At limerick writing I'm bad

Scribbles Thu 17-Aug-23 19:19:17

To return to the glowing reptile
It was seen hopping over a stile,
A grin on its face

Wyllow3 Thu 17-Aug-23 19:47:33

To return to the glowing reptile
It was seen hopping over a stile,
A grin on its face
A gold garment of lace

lizzypopbottle Thu 17-Aug-23 21:15:47

To return to the glowing reptile
It was seen hopping over a stile
A grin on its face
A gold garment of lace
It was German so greeted me, "Heil!"

I was having a glass of red wine

p0Sy Thu 17-Aug-23 21:26:28

I was having a glass of red wine
Full bodied - it tasted divine

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 18-Aug-23 06:51:23

I was having a glass of red wine
Full-bodied - it tasted divine
Another glass, please

Salti Fri 18-Aug-23 08:25:14

I was having a glass of red wine
Full-bodied - it tasted divine
Another glass, please
I'm here on my knees

Wyllow3 Fri 18-Aug-23 08:25:35

I was having a glass of red wine
Full-bodied - it tasted divine
Another glass, please
With a large chunk of cheese

Wyllow3 Fri 18-Aug-23 08:27:19

go with the first:

I was having a glass of red wine
Full-bodied - it tasted divine
Another glass, please
I'm here on my knees
But that bottle - its all mine!

The next day wasn't so good

Mollygo Fri 18-Aug-23 08:40:19

The next day wasn't so good
My head had a hammer on wood

Scribbles Fri 18-Aug-23 10:06:55

The next day wasn't so good
My head had a hammer on wood
It knocked and it tapped

Squiffy Fri 18-Aug-23 10:39:35

The next day wasn't so good
My head had a hammer on wood
It knocked and it tapped
My brain felt so zapped

Wyllow3 Fri 18-Aug-23 17:34:29

The next day wasn't so good
My head had a hammer on wood
It knocked and it tapped
My brain felt so zapped
I just hadn't thought like I should

Wyllow3 Fri 18-Aug-23 17:35:11

So - two coffees and sweet cake

p0Sy Sat 19-Aug-23 00:45:07

So- two coffees and a sweet cake
Is all my poor body can take

Wyllow3 Sat 19-Aug-23 08:30:34

So- two coffees and a sweet cake
Is all my poor body can take
"Never again" I thought

henetha Sat 19-Aug-23 10:25:44

So- two coffees and a sweet cake
Is all my poor body can take
"Never again" I thought,
Then I went and bought

Salti Sat 19-Aug-23 12:09:24

So- two coffees and a sweet cake
Is all my poor body can take
"Never again" I thought,
Then I went and bought
An enormous cherry tray bake

My scales are now hidden away

Juliet27 Sat 19-Aug-23 12:18:12

My scales are now hidden away
As my weight I’d rather not say

crazyH Sat 19-Aug-23 12:41:02

My scales are now hidden away
As my weight I’d rather not say
A kaftan I need

Squiffy Sat 19-Aug-23 12:52:17

My scales are now hidden away
As my weight I’d rather not say
A kaftan I need
I’ve so gone to seed

lizzypopbottle Sat 19-Aug-23 13:38:08

My scales are now hidden away
As my weight I'd rather not say
A kaftan I need
I've so gone to seed
I'll take myself in hand one day...

I've started to calorie count

p0Sy Sat 19-Aug-23 16:47:15

I've started to calorie count
And to hold myself to account

FarNorth Sat 19-Aug-23 17:19:57

I've started to calorie count
And to hold myself to account
Because of my bum

crazyH Sat 19-Aug-23 17:37:57

I've started to calorie count
And to hold myself to account
Because of my bum
And my rotund tum

Mollygo Sat 19-Aug-23 17:50:09

I've started to calorie count
And to hold myself to account
Because of my bum
And my rotund tum
And my chest . . . Though that I discount.

I see food, and to my surprise

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