Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

The clapped as I limped off the floor
And hurried fast out of the door

They clapped as I limped off the floor
And hurried fast out of the door
But, I didn’t care

They clapped as I limped off the floor
And hurried fast out of the door
But, I didn’t care
Just hobbled to where

They clapped as I limped off the floor
And hurried fast out of the door
But, I didn't care
Just hobbled to where
A first-aider could help, and what's more ...

He said, "Oh dear, I fear you need traction

He said, "Oh dear, I fear you need traction
He promptly sprang into action

He said, "Oh dear, I fear you need traction
He promptly sprang into action
A and E next stop

Minerva loved dancing the waltz
Her performance was not without faults

Not sure what happened there! Just ignore 😂

He said, "Oh dear, I fear you need traction
He promptly sprang into action
A and E next stop
‘til then I’ll just hop

He said, "Oh dear, I fear you need traction
He promptly sprang into action
A and E next stop
‘til then I’ll just hop
And just watch Naked Attraction

The thought of it is quite bizarre

The thought of it is quite bizarre
No knickers, not even a bra

The thought of it is quite bizarre
No knickers, not even a bra
It’s all hanging out

The thought of it is quite bizarre
No knickers, not even a bra
It’s all hanging out
Leaving nothing to doubt

The thought of it is quite bizarre
No knickers, not even a bra
It’s all hanging out
Leaving nothing to doubt
I think it’s a step far too far.

I wonder what drives them to do it

I wonder what drives them to do it
Maybe money helps them through it ,

I wonder what drives them to do it
Maybe money helps them to it
It's riches and fame

I wonder what drives them to do it
Maybe money helps them to it
It's riches and fame
Each other they blame

I wonder what drives them to do it
Maybe money helps them to it
It's riches and fame
Each other they blame
At least the younger ones are fit

She said "Don't let the bedbugs bite!"

She said "Don't let the bedbugs bite!"
Then added, “I hope you sleep tight!”

She said, "Don't let the bedbugs bite!"
Then added, "I hope you sleep tight!"
First, test with a torch

She said, "Don't let the bedbugs bite!"
Then added, "I hope you sleep tight!"
First, test with a torch
From back door to porch

She said, "Don't let the bedbugs bite!"
Then added, "I hope you sleep tight!"
First, test with a torch
From back door to porch
In the States, it is called a flashlight.

With a torch, you would burn down the house

With a torch, you would burn down the house
And kill off each bedbug or louse

With a torch you would burn down the house
And kill off each bedbug or louse
But get out in time

With a torch you would burn down the house
And kill off each bedbug or louse
But get out in time
And start a new rhyme