Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

With a torch you would burn down the house
And kill off each bedbug or louse
But get out in time
And start a new rhyme
And remember to wear a clean blouse,

That was an interesting point, Golden Lady

I’d like to explore a new land

I'd like to explore a new land
And very soon I'll get that planned

I'd like to explore a new land
And very soon I'll get that planned
A world map I’ve bought

I'd like to explore a new land
And very soon I'll get that planned
A world map I’ve bought
Travel bug I've caught

I'd like to explore a new land
And very soon I'll get that planned
A world map I’ve bought
Companionship sought

I'd like to explore a new land
And very soon I'll get that planned
A world map I’ve bought
Companionship sought
I've even saved up a few grand

I would like to travel first class

I would like to travel first class,
Then trek through the Kyber Pass

I would like to travel first class,
Then trek through the Kyber Pass
Too expensive, alas

I would like to travel first class,
Then trek through the Kyber Pass
Too expensive, alas
My plans are a farce

I would like to travel first class,
Then trek through the Kyber Pass
Too expensive, alas
My plans are a farce
So I'll just lie here on the grass.

If I can watch the falling leaves

If I can watch the falling leaves
Red and gold, some caught in the eaves

If I can watch the falling leaves
Red and gold, some caught in the eaves
Then I’m sure to feel calm

If I can watch the falling leaves
Red and gold, some caught in the eaves
Then I’m sure to feel calm
Try a new lip balm

If I can watch the falling leaves
Red and gold, some caught in the eaves
Then I’m sure to feel calm
Try a new lip balm
Keeping warm with gloves and long sleeves

We're back on GMT next week

We're back on GMT next week
About turning clocks back you speak?

We're back on GMT next week
About turning clocks back you speak?
The cooker and car

We're back on GMT next week
About turning clocks back you speak?
The cooker and car
The clock at the Bar

We're back on GMT next week
About turning clocks back you speak?
The cooker and car
The clock at the bar
Dark evenings makes life so bleak

I just don't feel safe in the dark

I just don't feel safe in the dark
Something could creep up like a shark

I just don't feel safe in the dark
Something could creep up like a shark
Keep the doors locked

I just don't feel safe in the dark
Something could creep up like a shark
Keep the doors locked
The pistol half cocked

I just don't feel safe in the dark
Something could creep up like a shark
Keep the doors locked
The pistol half cocked
And hoping that the dogs will bark

George Clooney would make me secure

George Clooney would make me secure
But my intentions are not pure!

George Clooney would make me secure
But my intentions are not pure!
Try to waylay him

George Clooney would make me secure
But my intentions are not pure!
Try to waylay him
Then make the lights dim