Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

I’m laughing so much I can’t complete the rhyme - so just carry on 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I can't work out who should go next

Over to you MissA

So bandy legged Kermit Macphee

So bandy legged Kermit Macphee
Was wondering what to have for tea

Why doctor!" I said, all agog
What's going on, you look like a frog!
"Call me Kermit" he begged
I will! bandy-leg!
But please don’t call me a hog

So bandy legged Kermit Macphee
Was wondering what to have for tea
Fish fingers and beans ?

So bandy legged Kermit Macphee
Was wondering what to have for tea
Fish fingers and beans ?
Or tadpoles in cream?

So bandy legged Kermit Macphee
Was wondering what to have for tea
Fish fingers and beans ?
Or tadpoles in cream?
I’d rather have snails dipped in ghee

Piggy Malone offered to bake

Piggy Malone offered to bake
He makes the most marvellous cake

Piggy Malone offered to bake
He makes the most marvellous cake
His cherry and chocolate

Piggy Malone offered to bake
He makes the most marvellous cake
His cherry and chocolate
And salad with rocket

Piggy Malone offered to bake
He makes the most marvellous cake
His cherry and chocolate
And salad with rocket
You can eat and eat til you ache

I invited some guests for a bash

I invited some guests for a bash
Nothing fancy - I’m still strapped for cash

I invited some guests for a bash
Nothing fancy - I’m still strapped for cash
My plates are all chipped

I invited some guests for a bash
Nothing fancy - I’m still strapped for cash
My plates are all chipped
The strawberries are picked

I invited some guests for a bash
Nothing fancy - I’m still strapped for cash
My plates are all chipped
The strawberries are picked
And ended up serving them hash!

Online, I bought a new chair

Online, I bought a new chair
Stuffed with wild horse hair

Online, I bought a new chair
Stuffed with wild horse hair
It was lumpy and hard

Online, I bought a new chair
Stuffed with wild horse hair
It was lumpy and hard
And it's name was Gerard

Online, I bought a new chair
Stuffed with wild horse hair
It was lumpy and hard
And it's name was Gerard
Thank goodness I hadn’t bought a pair

On line I bought an oak table

On line I bought an oak table
She told me that her name was Mabel

On line I bought an oak table
She told me that her name was Mabel
Her legs weren’t secure

On line I bought an oak table
She told me that her name was Mabel
Her legs weren’t secure
So became most demure

On line I bought an oak table
She told me that her name was Mabel
Her legs weren’t secure
So became most demure
‘As seen’ was put on her label.

Once while wild swimming in a lake