Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway) (

One slice may not be enough
To stop after one could be tough
Two, smothered in cream
Mmmm a lovely dream

One slice may not be enough
To stop after one could be tough
Two, smothered in cream
Mmmm a lovely dream
It’s hard to resist and it’s tough

There once was a fly on the wall

There once was a fly on the wall
Escape from the spider it's goal

There once was a fly on the wall
Escape from the spider it's goal
It crawled into a crack

There once was a fly on the wall
Escape from the spider it's goal
It crawled into a crack
By the curtain track

There once was a fly on the wall
Escape from the spider it's goal
It crawled into a crack
By the curtain track
The spider has gobbled it whole

Big spiders come into my shed

Big spiders come into my shed
Some are as big as your head!

Big spiders come into my shed
Some are as big as your head!
This is a nightmare

Big spiders come into my shed
Some are as big as your head!
This is a nightmare
There are webs everywhere

Big spiders come into my shed
Some are as big as your head!
This is a nightmare
There are webs everywhere
My nightmare and my biggest dread

My favourite species are monkeys

My favourite species are monkeys
They swing around on the trees

My favourite species are monkeys
They swing around on the trees
They’re naughty but nice

My favourite species are monkeys
They swing around on the trees
They’re naughty but nice
But loving their life

My favourite species are monkeys
They swing around on the trees
They’re naughty but nice
But loving their life
I'm convinced they're the bees' knees

They climb up to reach the ripe fruit

They climb up to reach the ripe fruit
While wearing their best Sunday suit,

They chatter and screech

They climb up to reach the ripe fruit
While wearing their best Sunday suit,
They chatter and screech

They climb up to reach the ripe fruit
While wearing their best Sunday suit,
They chatter and screech
When they get a ripe peach

They climb up to reach the ripe fruit
While wearing their best Sunday suit,
They chatter and screech
When they get a ripe peach
Wish they had a button to mute

Little girls like to shriek and scream

Little girls like to shriek and scream
We were like them once, such a dream

Little girls like to shriek and scream
We were like them once, such a dream
But then we grew up

Little girls like to shriek and scream
We were like them once, such a dream
But then we grew up
Into our G cup

Little girls like to shriek and scream
We were like them once, such a dream
But then we grew up
Into our G cup
And embarked upon life's stream

Your school days really are the best

Your school days really are the best
Don't say that, not even in jest

Your school days are really the best
Don’t say that, not even in jest
I wanted to leave