WRONG ANSWERS!!

I do!

Why am I not a millionaire?

Because you wasted all your coins on lottery tickets

Why am I on GN 24/7 ?

To keep an eye on me and ensure I fulfill my "time I could have spent better" weekly quota.

Is biting the heads off the most humane way to eat jellybabies?

Maybe. Or chewing quickly and swallowing? Or swallowing whole😲

Why do the birds start singing right outside my window at 5.30am?

Because if they knocked at your door, you would have to get out of bed to hear them.

Why do fish smell so fishy?

Because deodorant washes off in the water

Why do I feel the cold so badly?

Because you are sitting in a bucket of ice.

Why cant I sing as well as I used to?

Because you didn't sing well in the first place. Only you thought you did.

Why did someone change the name from Flutterby to Butterfly when there's no butter anywhere near them?

Because if you put a buttercup under the Flutterby's chin it turned yellow meaning it liked butter so became a butterfly.

Why is my bed so uncomfortable lately?

Because there are other people secretly using it while you are out.

Why do cats tease their prey instead of killing it instantly?

Because the prey tease the cat so the cat reciprocates.

Why do those blasted adverts that pop up have to get in my bloomin way?

Because they need to distract you from their mundane competitors.

Where does my cat get permission to choose the programs we view?

Cats dont need permission because they were chosen to rule

Why do the adverts pop up at tense dramatic moments?

They want to join in the drama of it all.

Why is grass green?

To help you find the yellow brick road!

Why does my cat take offense at my upside-down Christmas tree?

It reminds her of the dog from 3 doors down.

Why does hair grow?

To give hairdressers something to do

Why do I go into another room and then come back without the thing i went in for?

Because you thought of something better in the previous room so went back for that instead.

Who made up the 'who, why, what, where & was' that police go by when investigating crimes?

why, people who love to listen to sirens of course!

Why do people build fish ponds in trees?

One for us old uns
Why do elephants have big ears
Because noddy won’t pay the ransome

Reply to Llamas99

Because birds can easily find fish to eat without having to fly far.

Why do elephants all have grey trunks?

Because the others are still in the wash .

Why do I always feel lethargic on a Sunday ?

Because you go out getting drunk and behaving badly on Saturday nights.

Why does Yorkshire pudding rise better with plain flour than with self-raising flour?

Because flowers have lovely scents, especially Freesias.

Why does it have to get that hot in summer?

Because the sun forgets to put his hat on.
Why do I sneeze so much in summer?