Corrupt A Wish (2/3/24).

Granted. They enjoyed wheeling themselves so much that they’ve gone off to Lands End for a month’s holiday. (Or John O’Groats if that’s further away from where you live )

I wish I could find my glasses.

Wish granted. Shame you can see what housework needs doing

I wish the grandfather clock would wind itself

It can, but now the ticking is so loud throughout your house that you can even hear it down the road!

I wish I could work out my new microwave!

Wish granted you can, but you can't remember how your cooker works

I wish the slugs would stop eating my plants.

Wish granted but with no leaves to eat they venture under the back foot into the kitchen

I wish I could always find my car keys

Granted, but where's your car? Did you leave ut in a multistorey carpark...but which one?

I wish I could remember all the words to songs I like.

Wish granted gladly and in full, but now that favourite song may well turn into an annoying earworm.

I wish supermarkets would stop moving things around!

Wish granted but the shelves with your favourite items are always empty and you have to hunt round for substitutes.

I wish beds could change themselves

Wish granted, but your bed just changed itself into a chair.

I wish I was slim

You are slim. It's just your mirror playing a trick on you.

I wish I had a chauffeur.

There's a chauffeur outside. Unfortunately, the car has broken down.

I wish I was young again.

Wish granted shame about the acne

I wish my hair was smooth and silky

Wish granted if you buy a bottle of conditioner.

I wish I had a PA (personal assistant)

Wish granted - however, the P.A. is due to emigrate tomorrow.

I wish I was on holiday

Wish granted but you're on an uninhabited island, so enjoy your quiet time foraging for food!

I wish I could change my eye colour at will.

Your eyes have changed colour, but now they're crossed.

I wish it was warmer weather

Wish granted but you are in Australia during bush fire season.

I wish someone else would pay my council tax

Wish granted but they moved into you spare room

I wish someone would clean my car

Wish granted but they took it to the car wash 5 days ago.

I wish the sun would come out.

Wish granted, but now you've got sunburn.

I wish the rain would stop.

Wish granted but they have been moved there by a flood which is headed for your doorway

I wish the dishes would wash and dry themselves

Sorry missed a page.

Wish granted but hail and snow are expected and temperatures of -20

I wish the dishes would wash and dry themselves

Wish granted - you've got a dishwasher. Sadly, you didn't buy dishwasher tablets.

I wish someone would cook a nice dinner tonight

They will but it's in the house in the next town.

I wish I wasn't so tired tonight.

Wish granted but neighbours are having a loud party to which your not invited.

I wish my keys would stop getting lost and stay in one place