Limericks 18, Rides again

So I was tired and very muddy
In need of help from a buddy
And a good strong drink
To help me think
A hot shower that's nice and suddy

Then, when I feel human once more

Then, when I feel human once more
I might be cheerful like before

Then, when I feel human once more
I might be cheerful like before
Wore my pink silk dress

Then, when I feel human once more
I might be cheerful like before
Wore my pink silk dress
After giving it a press

Then, when I feel human once more
I might be cheerful like before
Wore my pink silk dress
After giving it a press
And then dance with the man next door

He says I'm the love of his life

He says I'm the love of his life
He’s certain to make me his wife

He says I'm the love of his life
He’s certain to make me his wife
I suspect he is married

He says I'm the love of his life
He’s certain to make me his wife
I suspect he's married
So I feel worried,

He says I'm the love of his life
He’s certain to make me his wife
I suspect he's married
So I feel worried,
As moving next door could cause strife.

His wife might be somewhat upset

His wife might be somewhat upset
She doesn't know anything yet

His wife might be somewhat upset
She doesn’t know anything yet
But if she finds out

His wife might be somewhat upset
She doesn’t know anything yet
But if she finds out
I'm sure without doubt

His wife might be somewhat upset
She doesn’t know anything yet
But if she finds out
I’m sure without doubt
I’ll be animal fodder, you bet

She is a mighty big woman

She is a mighty big woman
Aggressive and rather common

She is a mighty big woman
Aggressive and rather common
And a very loud voice

She is a mighty big woman
Aggressive and rather common
And a very loud voice
A thunderous noice

She is a mighty big woman
Aggressive and rather common
And a very loud voice
A thunderous voice
And treats her husband something rotten

So I think that I'll give him a miss

So I think that I'll give him a miss
All we ever did was just kiss

So I think that I'll give him a miss
All we ever did was just kiss
I'll find someone single

So I think that I'll give him a miss
All we ever did was just kiss
I'll find someone single
Who makes me tingle

So I think that I’ll give him a miss
All we ever did was just kiss
I’ll find someone single
Who makes me tingle
And that I think, will be bliss

So off to the pub I do go

So off to the pub I do go
With hope in my heart, face a-glow

So off to the pub I do go
With hope in my heart, face a-glow
I will lean on the bar

So off to the pub I will go
With hope in my heart, face a-glow
I will lean on the bar
Drink jar after jar

So off to the pub I will go
With hope in my heart, face a-glow
I will lean on the bar
Drink jar after jar
Of what kind of drink? I don't know.

Finally approached by a chap