Limericks 18, Rides again

My ego's the size of the moon
It waxes and wanes, that a boon.

My ego's the size of the moon
It waxes and wanes, that a boon.
Now it’s deflated

My ego's the size of the moon
It waxes and wanes, that a boon.
Now it’s deflated
And most desolated

My ego's the size of the moon
It waxes and wanes, that a boon.
Now it’s deflated
And most desolated,
I'm sure I'll be great again soon.

The King is my cousin, you know,

The King is my cousin, you know
We ski together, when there's snow

The King is my cousin, you know
We ski together, when there's snow
His slalom is ace

The King is my cousin, you know
We ski together, when there's snow
His slalom is ace
But doesn’t keep pace

The King is my cousin, you know
We ski together, when there's snow
His slalom is ace
But doesn’t keep pace
He's doing it all just for show

Skiing is better in winter

Skiing is better in winter
Dry ski-slopes might give you a splinter,

Skiing is better in winter
Dry ski-slopes might give you a splinter,
I’m prepared to try

Skiing is better in winter
Dry ski-slopes might give you a splinter
I'm prepared to try
Not give up and cry

Skiing is better in winter
Dry ski-slopes might give you a splinter
I'm prepared to try
Not give up and cry
I'd write this if I had a printer

It has rained today without stopping

It has rained today without stopping
And prevented me from shopping,

It has rained today without stopping
And prevented me from shopping
I’ll do it on line

It has rained today without stopping
And prevented me from shopping
I'll do it on line
All I want is wine

It has rained today without stopping
And prevented me from shopping
I'll do it on line
All I want is wine
For Wyn who comes, without knocking

She does not have manners, you see,

She does not have manners, you see
Invites herself over for tea

She does not have manners, you see
Invites herself over for tea
She eats all my cakes

She does not have manners, you see
Invites herself over for tea
She eats all my cakes
Plus my new tray bakes,

She does not have manners, you see
Invites herself over for tea
She eats all my cakes
Plus my new tray bakes,
And doesn't leave any for me.

My diet might benefit though

My diet might benefit though
If I cut right back on the dough

My diet might benefit though
If I cut right back on the dough
And eat far more fruit

My diet might benefit though
If I cut right back on the dough
And eat far more fruit
And whole grains, to boot

My diet might benefit though
If I cut right back on the dough
And eat far more fruit
And whole grains, to boot
All preceded by salad you know.

We should make the weigh scales our friend

We should make the weight scales our friend,
Be honest and not just pretend,