New Limerick Thread II 2016 (following New Limerick Thread)

My wireless mouse doesn't work
It's new so it really does irk

My wireless mouse doesn't work
It's new so it really does irk
Try a bit of cheese

My wireless mouse doesn't work
It's new so it really does irk
Try a bit of cheese
If that works 'twill please

My wireless mouse doesn’t work
It’s new so it really does irk
Try a bit of cheese
If that works’twill please
I’ve never been able to shirk.

My grandmother slaved night and day

My grandmother slaved night and day
She sewed for very little pay

My grandmother slaved night and day
She sewed for very little pay
Grandpa never worked

My grandmother slaved night and day
She sewed for very little pay
Grandpa never worked
He was such a Jerk

My grandmother slaved night and day
She sewed for very little pay
Grandpa never worked
He was such a Jerk
I don't know what caused her to stay.

Meanwhile, my mouse doesn't click

Meanwhile my mouse doesn’t click
That certainly gives me the ick

Meanwhile my mouse doesn't click
That certainly gives me the ick
It's all such a pain

Meanwhile my mouse doesn't click
That certainly gives me the ick
It's all such a pain
I'm clicking in vain

Meanwhile my mouse doesn't click
That certainly gives me the ick
It's all such a pain
I'm clicking in vain
I'd like to bash it with a brick

I'm dog sitting for my best friend

She’s one I don’t want to offend

I’m dog sitting for my best friend
She’s one I don’t want to offend

I’m dog sitting for my best friend
She’s one I don’t want to offend
But her dog is a pain

I'm dog sitting for my best friend
She's one I don't want to offend
But her dog is a pain
He raced down the lane

I’m dog sitting for my best friend
She’s one I don’t want to offend
But her dog is a pain
He raced down the lane
And then disappeared round the bend

Spring is certainly in the air

Spring is certainly in the air
With crocus carpets everywhere

Spring is certainly in the air
With crocus carpets everywhere
Here, it’s just damp earth

Spring is certainly in the air
With crocus carpets everywhere
Here, it's just damp earth
No sunshine, no mirth

Spring is certainly in the air
With crocus carpets everywhere
Here, it's just damp earth
No sunshine, no mirth
Better tomorrow, if I dare ?

Just had a bag of Doritos

Just had a bag of Doritos
I ate them all with no vetoes

Just had a bag of Doritos
I ate them all with no vetoes
Not good for my waist

Just had a bag of Doritos
I ate them all with no vetoes
Not good for my waist
But quite a good taste

Just had a bag of Doritos
I ate them all with no vetoes
Not good for my waist
But quite a good taste
Tangy like stings from mosquitoes

I prefer Walkers crisps myself