New Limerick Thread II 2016 (following New Limerick Thread)

I was really kept back by fear
Of water, I’d never go near
It has been a bar

I was really kept back by fear
Of water, I'd never go near,
It has been a bar
But I want to go far

I was really kept back by fear
Of water, I'd never go near,
It has been a bar
But I want to go far
And swimming is fun, so I hear

I'll start by dunking one toe

I'll start by dunking one toe
Then onward and outward I'll go

I'll start by dunking one toe
Then onward and outward I'll
Right up to my neck

I'll start by dunking one toe
Then onward and outward I'll go
Right up to my necK
So right, what the heck

I'll start by dunking one toe
Then onward and outward I'll go
Right up to my neck
So right, what the heck
I'm swimming the channel, you know.

Will I get to France still alive?

Will I get to France still alive?
I’m about to take my first dive

Will I get to France still alive?
I'm about to take my first dive
It's cold in the sea

Will I get to France still alive?
I'm about to take my first dive
It's cold in the sea
Will I be a shark’s tea?

Will I get to France still alive?
I'm about to take my first dive
It's cold in the sea
Will I be a shark’s tea?
They always get hungry by five

I can't feel my toes anymore

I can't feel my toes anymore
They were there when I looked before,

I can't feel my toes anymore
They were there when I looked before
My skin has gone blue

I can't feel my toes anymore
They were there when I looked before
My skin has gone blue
It's a kiddie pool, too!

I can’t feel my toes anymore
They were there when I looked before
My skin has gone blue
It’s a kiddie pool, too!
I’m thinking of old sailors’ lore.

I’m normally timid and shy

I’m normally timid and shy
Until somebody makes me cry,

I’m normally timid and shy
Until somebody makes me cry,
Then my hackles rise

In my kitchen I roar and rage
Like a lion confined in a cage

I’m normally timid and shy
Until somebody makes me cry,
Then my hackles rise
If they're telling me lies

I'm normally timid and shy
Until somebody makes me cry,
Then my hackles rise
If they're telling me lies
And then the expletives will fly

They'd better get out of my way

They'd better get out of my way
I’m telling you, it’s not my day

They'd better get out of my way
Or they'll surely be made to pay

They'd better get out of my way
Or they'll surely be made to pay
So they should watch out

They’d better get out of my way
Or they’ll surely be made to pay
So they should watch out
I’ll fight, there’s no doubt

They'd better get out of my way
Or they'll surely be made to pay
So they should watch out
I'll fight, there's no doubt
And then it will be Judgement Day!

I'm really enjoying this week