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New Limerick Thread II 2016 (following New Limerick Thread)

(765 Posts)
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Magenta8 Sun 04-Jan-26 12:11:49

Only then will I head off home
And sort out my wet hair with a comb
I'll try a new style
With which I'll beguile
Everyone wherever I roam

I'll charm everybody I meet

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hollysteers Tue 13-Jan-26 18:21:11

I need a new window cleaner
And make him hopefully keener

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Magenta8 Tue 13-Jan-26 19:58:19

I need a new window cleaner
And make him hopefully keener
The last one I had

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Ashcombe Tue 13-Jan-26 21:17:28

I need a new window cleaner
And make him hopefully keener
The last one I had
Was a bit of a lad

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friendlygingercat Wed 14-Jan-26 00:11:47

I need a new window cleaner
And make him hopefully keener
The last one I had
Was a bit of a lad
Always quite drunk and a leaner

He peered through the curtain last week

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52bright Wed 14-Jan-26 01:59:53

He peered through the curtain last week
That was really amazing cheek

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henetha Wed 14-Jan-26 10:36:13

He peered through the curtain last week
That was really amazing cheek
So I punched him hard

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hollysteers Wed 14-Jan-26 12:35:21

He peered through the curtain last week
That was really amazing cheek
So I punched him hard
I’m always on guard

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Mollygo Wed 14-Jan-26 15:07:35

He peered through the curtain last week
That was really amazing cheek
So I punched him hard
I’m always on guard
My punch made him seriously leak!

I doubt if he’ll try that again

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Magenta8 Wed 14-Jan-26 19:32:11

I doubt if he'll try that again
I'm well up to dealing with men

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crazyH Wed 14-Jan-26 21:35:57

I doubt if he'll try that again
I'm well up to dealing with men
My muscles are large

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hollysteers Thu 15-Jan-26 00:10:47

I doubt if he’ll try that again
I’m well up to dealing with men
My muscles are large
I’ve worked on a barge

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GoldenLady Thu 15-Jan-26 14:14:58

I doubt if he’ll try that again
I’m well up to dealing with men
My muscles are large
I’ve worked on a barge
And once in an animal pen

A delicate snowflake I'm not

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Ashcombe Thu 15-Jan-26 14:34:25

A delicate snowflake I'm not
I'm reckoned to be rather hot

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MollyNew Thu 15-Jan-26 16:14:24

A delicate snowflake I'm not
I'm reckoned to be rather hot
I am quite a catch

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friendlygingercat Thu 15-Jan-26 18:12:40

A delicate snowflake I'm not
I'm reckoned to be rather hot
I am quite a catch
No man is my match

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hollysteers Thu 15-Jan-26 19:00:58

A delicate snowflake I’m not
I’m reckoned to be rather hot
I am quite a catch
No man is my match
But for love I give not a jot.

I’m perfectly fine by myself

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BrightandBreezy Thu 15-Jan-26 23:59:22

I'm perfectly fine by myself
Have fun and don't feel on the shelf

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Magenta8 Fri 16-Jan-26 07:34:52

I'm perfectly fine by myself
Have fun and don't feel on the shelf
I do as I please

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henetha Fri 16-Jan-26 11:10:30

I'm perfectly fine by myself
Have fun and don't feel on the shelf
I do as I please,
If no-one agrees,

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crazyH Fri 16-Jan-26 14:47:48

I'm perfectly fine by myself
Have fun and don't feel on the shelf
I do as I please,
If no-one agrees,
They can just bugger off to hell

I neither smoke, nor drink or swear

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GoldenLady Fri 16-Jan-26 15:18:33

I neither smoke, nor drink or swear
But you just said "Hell" pretty clear! [hmmm]

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Magenta8 Fri 16-Jan-26 16:15:49

I neither, smoke, nor drink or swear
But you just said "Hell" pretty clear
You said bugger too

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pably15 Fri 16-Jan-26 18:13:05

I neither, smoke, drink, or swear
But you just said "Hell" pretty clear
You said bugger too
Now, that gives us a clue

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hollysteers Fri 16-Jan-26 18:26:56

I neither smoke, drink, or swear
But you just said “Hell” pretty clear
You said bugger too
Now, that gives us a clue
You are not a sweet prim old dear.

Well who gives a toss what they think?

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Magenta8 Fri 16-Jan-26 18:43:01

Well who gives a toss what they think?
OK, so I smoke, swear and drink

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