LIMERICKS (April 2025 contd August 2026)

In Pendle were witches galore
Up on their broomsticks they would soar
In 1612 - what a year!
The Pendle witches walked in fear

In Pendle were witches galore
Up on their broomsticks they would soar
In 1612 - what a year!
witches walked in fear
Don’t know the story, I’m a bore

I’m looking forward to meeting

I'm looking forward to meeting
The man who'll fix my central heating

I'm looking forward to meeting
The man who'll fix my central heating
Poetically speaking?

I’m looking forward to meeting
The man who’ll fix my central heating
Poetically speaking
His help I’m seeking

I’m looking forward to meeting
The man who’ll fix my central heating
Poetically speaking
His help I’m seeking
To stop me and mine from freezing

I thought that was a real cute verse

I thought that was a real cute verse
Said the vicar who hijacked the hearse

I thought that was a real cute verse
Said the vicar who hijacked the hearse
It rhymed and it scanned

I thought that was a real cute verse
Said the vicar who hijacked the hearse
It rhymed.and it scanned
So couldn’t be banned!

I thought that was a real cute verse
Said the vicar who hijacked the hearse
It rhymed.and it scanned
So couldn’t be banned!
Yes, it could have been a lot worse

My favorite time of the year

My favourite time of the year
Spring, seeing daffodils gives cheer

My favourite time of the year
Spring, seeing daffodils gives cheer
Snowdrops oh so white

My favourite time of the year
Spring, seeing daffodils gives cheer
Snowdrops oh so white
Crocus, aconite

My favourite time of the year
Spring, seeing daffodils gives cheer
Snowdrops oh so white
Crocus, aconite
All blossoms to me are so dear.

My neighbour thought he was a cat

My neighbour thought he was a cat
As he frequently sat on the mat,

My neighbour thought he was a cat
As he frequently sat on the mat,
He called out, "Meow!

My neighbour thought he was a cat
As he frequently sat on the mat
He called out, "Meow!"
Caught a mouse somehow

My neighbour thought he was a cat
As he frequently sat on the mat
He called out, "Meow!"
Caught a mouse somehow
Then jumped on my lap. Fancy that!

His wife thought that she was a dog

His wife thought that she was a dog
She’d pant when she went for a jog

His wife thought that she was a dog
She’d pant when she went for a jog
Kept her bowl on the floor

His wife thought that she was a dog
She’d pant when she went for a jog
Kept her bowl on the floor
Would bark at the door

His wife thought that she was a dog
She’d pant when she went for a jog
Kept her bowl on the floor
Would bark at the door
Or sit like a bump on a log

She disliked the neighbor's cat

She disliked the neighbours cat
Who was I admit quite a brat

She disliked the neighbours cat
Who was I admit quite a brat
Living side by side

She disliked the neighbours cat
Who was I admit quite a brat
Living side by side
Was no easy ride