garden thief

Pyracanthus!
Also a local policeman recommended (on 6 foot fences only) carpet gripper rods tacked a few inches down on the inside of the panels. He said its great deterrent and also gathers a bit of useful DNA!

Oooh how wonderfully evil your local policeman is

Someone has stolen my two best butternut squash from my allotment. I've put the itchy curse on them that'll larn them.

Any local garden fetes on soon Aka...?

Could you identify your squashes?

I hope the curse works.

Think the Fete season is over now Ana but the itchy curse always works. It's my favourite spell and does the trick nicely [witchy emoticon]

Vamps would you like me to put it on your container thief too?

Harvest Festivals, then?

Can you tell us how do do the Itchy Curse? I'm sure it would come in handy...[hopeful emoticon]

Of course Harvest Festivals...I'll have to tour all the local primaries and during 'They Plough the Fields and Scatter' watch to see who's scratching.

There are several spells Ana my favourite it the itch between the toes one.

It goes

Itchy twitchy on the foot
Round and round towards the root,
Round and round again it goes
Until it rests between the toes.

You have to hold a willow branch in your left hand and twirl anticlockwise slowly.

Isn't there a danger of putting the itchy curse on your own feet while you're at it?

Oh yes please. Put the itchy curse on their toes. I've had athletes foot and I know how itchy toes can drive you insane.

Well spotted Merlot you have to be very careful to point the willow branch towards the moon to avoid any Mishaps so only perform this spell on a moonlit night.

Another fun one starts

Itchy twitchy point to Venus
Send an itch towards ...

Oh dear, better get the book out I've forgotten the rest of that one

Consider it done Vamps
I've also added the Head Lice Itch as that's a fun one to have too.

Aka

Talking of moons I've an early start tomorrow so sleep tight.

Thanks Aka. I shall watch out for someone trying to scratch his/her head and feet at the same time

Aka

I feel a teensy bit sorry for the evil doer (a very teensy bit!) I suffer from psoriasis and itching is a major part of my life. Honest though it wasn't me although I do love butternut squash but couldn't lift the plant. Sorry for you both though anything like that leaves a nasty 'taste in the mouth' doesn't it?

Somebody dug up and stole a standard rose from my front garden in one London house and a wannabe swain started trying to pick flowers from pots in another London House – until I leaned out the bedroom window and he did a runner. IT ISN'T YOURS!

Rotten isn't it. Stealing anything, just not on - but gardens reflect our hearts and should be as safe as houses.

In the middle do the night my daughter heard someone walking on the gravel drive. She looked out in time to see someone steal her empty builders bag that she uses to collect leaves in in the autumn.

Aka it sounds as if the result of that curse is athletes foot.

I hate garden thief's with a passion,we had until a few month's ago a man who lived downstairs from us,my front garden area is shared with the lady underneath me and we have private gated entrance the same senario with this chap,,one day on my way to my garden gate I thought oh those pots look nice in the new man's garden they look like the ones we have in ours,only to find he had taken all our pots and lined them up under his window,his reason being that he thought all the pots in the gardens where shared by the residents he was told in not to many words to replace them pronto,he then had the cheek to say he didn't like my pots as some where plastic "Well buy you b-----in own" says I.

We used to have a bridle path running along the side of our last house. We would cut the grass, planted trees along the boundary and put up bird feeders and nesting boxes. In return people would allow their dogs to run across and poop in our garden, broke the branches from the trees and stole the bird feeders and nesting boxes. So we stopped cutting the grass and planted hawthorn bushes between the trees. I even had someone open my back door and when I challenged them they said they "just wanted to see what it was like inside"!!