Where are they now?

Kate Maybe something has happened in her life. I haven't looked on Friends Reunited for years. Then just last night (strangely as I had been reading this thread yesterday) I had a message via them from an old school friend who I last saw in 1970. I absolutely loved this girl. I have often wondered what had happened to her over the years. I replied to her email and she replied back to me. I am now going to watch this space.

There is to be a 50 year re-union of my year at secondary school next month and I am so pleased I have a prior engagement which I am unable to get out of. I don't think I would go anyway as I'm sure they will all be slim, elegant ,young-looking and full of what they have achieved. I am probably wrong but that is my perception.
On the other hand, my close friends are colleagues from my first job. We all started teaching within a few years of each other and gradually left to have our children starting with me. As others left we began to meet monthly in each other's houses for about 6-7years until there were 7 or 8 Mums and 13 or 14 children. I myself had 3 by then.It lasted until slowly and one-by-one we drifted back to various teaching or other jobs .We mainly lost sight of each other over the following years apart from the Christmas card with the odd scribbled "we must meet up" message As we all began to retire we decided to make this a reality and once again we meet monthly in one of our homes .Obviously the number has dwindled because some have left the area but at present there are 4 of us with 9 grandchildren between us. We share our family problems and there is much laughter as we look back over the past and our shared experiences.
It seems like the wheel has turned full circle.

Greenfinch. I know what you mean. About 8 years ago I was contacted by an old friend via Friends Reunited. She was part of a group of good friends I had at school. We emailed a couple of times and she said that she kept in touch with another of our friends from school and would I like to meet up with the two of them. I politely refused for the same reasons as you mention above. I assumed they would be slimmer, more glamorous, with better houses etc. I was probably wrong and it was nice to hear from her but sometimes the past is best left in the past.

Ohhhh, NanKate, my heart goes out to you - big hugs! You sound a lovely, kind and caring person and you did what a friend does - you reached out. You must feel totally bewildered at her strange response. However, could it be that she is just so immersed in helping her daughter that she isn't able to respond at the moment? Just playing devil's advocate really, though I know I'd feel the same in your shoes.
How long is it since you replied to her? If it's several months then maybe it's time to draw a line underneath it, accept that you feel hurt and rejected but know that you did your best and for whatever reason, she isn't able to continue the friendship right now. But it's equally possible that you might hear from her again out of the blue! You could try not sending the usual letter at Christmas, as you say, and see whether she responds, but sometimes it's just better to wave goodbye and to move on.

nankate, sad ..... yes but you had 50 yrs of friendship, which you both obviously enjoyed !!

I would say don't write it as off/gone; but as an oversight, through illness or loss;

I have relatives too far to visit- who I write to between 2/3 times a year and those that get xmas cards with the year past news, but have noted when illness strikes they find it difficult to communicate, and losing someone close can cause months of silence.

just try to keep an open mind--in hope.

I agree with*jcdoh*, Nankate. There could be a simple explanation.
It's also quite possible your friend didn't get the email with the pictures.
Hotmail is particularly bad at rejecting emails with attachments.
I sent one with a photo attached to a friend while we were in the States.
She didn't reply and I was worried about her as she is on her own. I resorted to emailing a mutual friend to ask her to find out if our friend was ok.
She was, but had never received the email.

Thank you so much lovely Gransnetters for your kind responses I really appreciate them.

My son said recently that my 3 year old grandson 'wears his heart on his sleeve' I thought I know where he gets tha from!