Gransnet forums

Genealogy/memories

Swearing in front of Gc.

(112 Posts)
Yammy Sat 16-Oct-21 18:59:22

Do you swear in front of your grandchildren?
I'll admit both DH and I do. Not really bad language but where we come from Blaspheming is still in everyday use and used constantly. So run to hell, or for Christ's sake is common everyday parlance and we don't realise we are doing it. Our family have never objected and the SIL think it is funny. Yet neither of us swore at work
A relation has got into bother for using the same kind of language and was quite upset they did not realise they were doing it and it was repeated by a toddler. Especially after the language that is used today both to other people and even on T.V., it seems pretty mild.
Our grandparents often referred to children as the buggering bairns and we just accepted it.
How would you feel if reprimanded and would you not swear in the first place?

Fadingrose Sat 16-Oct-21 19:10:24

We don't swear in front of our grandchildren, no
Children seen to have an uncanny knack of picking up 'unusual' words
We are very careful about that kind of thing and I think the parents would be justified in being annoyed if the children repeated words like that

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 16-Oct-21 19:17:47

I wouldn’t do it. Never swore in front of my son until he was well into his teens, and then pretty mild. I don’t blaspheme and never have.

DiscoDancer1975 Sat 16-Oct-21 19:56:20

I don’t blaspheme either, being a Christian. Even before I was a Christian, it never seemed right, and didn’t do it.

However, the odd ‘ bloody’ comes out here and there by accident. S.d it, and s..t etc. Nothing really offensive...so no F’s or C’s.

So far, nothing has been repeated that I know of. We know they probably hear worse at school...but it’s up to us to maintain good etiquette if that’s the right word.

MayBeMaw Sat 16-Oct-21 20:04:25

Genealogy?

BlueBelle Sat 16-Oct-21 20:08:34

My thoughts Maw why in genealogy ???
But no I think that’s a horrible expression that your grandparents used
I don’t think I swore in front of my kids or grandkids although I do on my own and a bit at work sometimes

Marydoll Sat 16-Oct-21 20:11:32

We would never swear in front of our five year old granddaughter, nor any other child.
Children have an uncanny knack of repeating things at the most inappropriate moments. Our granddaughter is a great mimic and my son sent us a video of her impersonating me, she had me down to a T. I am even more careful now!

It becomes a problem, when the language is repeated in school or nursery and other parents complain. Rightly so!

V3ra Sat 16-Oct-21 21:10:15

When my Mum was teaching she gently reprimanded a child, saying, "Nice people don't swear."
"Me mam does, Miss," came the reply 🙄🤦

Urmstongran Sat 16-Oct-21 21:24:04

Himself was at a football practice earlier in the week at the local grammar school pitch with our Boy Wonder aged 9y.

He got talking to the school caretaker. He said ‘language by the kids is something terrible these days’. He had apparently seen one of the parents collecting her son and had a dog with her, on a lead. He pointed out that No Dogs we’re allowed on the school premises. Plenty of notices etc. Her son walked up to join his mum as she was saying ‘oh it’s just for two minutes’ etc. He asked her politely not to do it again.

As she walked off with the dog, the boy leaned in to the caretaker and said “F**k Off”.

He said that’s what it’s like nowadays.

GagaJo Sat 16-Oct-21 21:28:00

I've worked in 3 tough, inner city British schools. I was told to 'f off' on a daily basis. And I was a popular teacher!

One British colleague at one of the posh international schools I've worked at, said in amazement at the end of the first week over drinks, 'No one's called me a paedo!'

Kim19 Sat 16-Oct-21 22:22:11

Nope. Seldom swear myself but certainly wouldn't do so in the company of my GC.

BigBertha1 Sat 16-Oct-21 22:31:06

We don't swear in front of our grandson even though he is 17. DH rarely swears anyway. I have a Russian visitor called Buggerov sometimes just between us two.

Kali2 Sat 16-Oct-21 22:35:57

No we don't. Their father does, and it makes me so uncomfortabel- and he would go really angry if grandchildren used the same language.

MissAdventure Sat 16-Oct-21 22:41:03

Yes, sometimes.
Living close to a senior school, there doesn't seem to be any teens at all who haven't got mouths like sewers.
I don't allow children to swear though.

supernanauna1 Sat 16-Oct-21 23:14:42

My son warned not to watch a particular movie when my 8yo GD was around because it had bad words in it. She piped up and said 'it's all right daddy, i know lots of bad words'.

MissAdventure Sat 16-Oct-21 23:23:19

That was reassuring, I'm sure. grin

ElaineI Sat 16-Oct-21 23:28:38

Try not to but if so thing slips out DGC immediately pick it up - why? They don't pick up nice kind intelligent words! I find it so funny though when they come out with things you have said e.g. taking DD2 to work 2 weeks ago and there was a huge traffic jam with nothing moving (turned out to be temporary traffic lights) said " Well that's not good!" Now DGS2 (3) keeps saying "Granny that's not good!" However better than saying "FFS" definitely grin

CafeAuLait Sat 16-Oct-21 23:30:24

I would never and I wouldn't have been okay with GPs swearing around my children when they were younger either. We're supposed to set an example.

V3ra Sat 16-Oct-21 23:38:17

supernanauna1

My son warned not to watch a particular movie when my 8yo GD was around because it had bad words in it. She piped up and said 'it's all right daddy, i know lots of bad words'.

That's reminded me of the time I told my two junior school age sons they couldn't watch a certain popular film:
"It's ok mummy, there's no swearing in it, it's just a bit of sex and violence." 🤦

Chestnut Sat 16-Oct-21 23:39:52

We are not a swearing family, never swore in front of our children and we don't in front of the grandchildren. The oldest is 10 and I've told them that there is a lot of swearing around now and they will hear other people doing it even in movies. I want them to be prepared to hear it but to understand that it isn't done in family settings and is not something to encourage.

Mapleleaf Sat 16-Oct-21 23:47:02

There’s no need for swearing or blaspheming in every day conversation. It sounds, and is, awful. To use it in front of children in particular, is a ‘no no’ in my book, as they will see it as acceptable and normal language to use everyday, which, of course, it is not. It has its place, but not in every day conversation.

grannyactivist Sat 16-Oct-21 23:47:26

I don’t swear and I don’t blaspheme. Occasionally I need to write or repeat verbatim what someone else has said and I’m okay with that, it’s part of my job, but I think my adult children would fall down in a faint if they heard me swear. 🤣

Only one of my children has ever sworn in front of me, but I assume the others do swear occasionally, although never in front of their children and most definitely they wouldn’t blaspheme.

When my children were young I never criticised what other parents did or said, merely used the mantra that, “In our family we do/don’t do….”. Because we often had other people living with us we had a very clear ‘family’ identity that my children bought into.

Teacheranne Sun 17-Oct-21 01:05:21

When my son was a teenager, he was a real handful and as a single mum I struggled to know how to handle him - he still is a handful at age 38!

He went through a phase of shouting and swearing at me when I tried to put boundaries in place and I read somewhere about the tactic of shouting and swearing back at him. He let rip one day when we were in the garage with the door open and I confess I lost it and used some swear words back at him. He was so shocked at me also using foul language that he just calmed down and went back inside - he has never forgotten his reaction at his mum also knowing swear words!

The funny thing was after he went back in the house, I heard clapping from outside and saw my lovely neighbours in their garden congratulating me on how I handled things.

grannyactivist Sun 17-Oct-21 01:33:28

Teacheranne the only child of mine that has sworn in my presence made it her avowed goal as a teenager to make me swear at her. It didn’t happen. 🤐 But I do understand the benefit of shock tactics in your situation.

More surprisingly I went from being the worst mother in the world when she was in her teens to being the best mother ever now she has children of her own. 😂

(Of course ‘everyone else’s mother’ was perfect back in the day - now, with hindsight, my child is horrified by what her friend’s parents allowed.)

CanadianGran Sun 17-Oct-21 04:01:16

I don't swear in front of children, but then I don't swear very much anyway.

However, a well placed swear sometimes feels very satisfying, especially when driving or dropping a stitch while knitting.