Is it normal to have very little interest in your grandchildren?

I don’t suppose it matters but this thread is from 2011….

This is a very very old thread. I wonder how it all turned out?

Livelove you need to start a thread of your own. You have somehow resurrected a thread that is from 2011 and people have now started to reply to.

The 8 and 6 year olds mentioned in the OP are adults now.

I am an only child with 5 children and now a grandmother of 7. My husband and I had parents 2 hours and 4½ hours away initially and then both sets were 4½ plus.

Neither set babysat - why would they? They were miles away! We had friends who babysat if necessary and we babysat theirs.

Can you meet halfway for the odd day out every month or two so your mum gets to know your children better? That's what we did.
Then you can "lend" your children for an odd sleepover as they grow.

You are not being realistic I think.
If you want to see her more book an air bnb near her maybe and think of ways to make the contact you want actually happen.

Being a grandmother does not mean you are an automatic babysitter.

Grannynannywanny

The 8 and 6 year olds mentioned in the OP are adults now.

Oh, crikey!!!

😂

I’m hoping the OP might see her resurrected thread and update us on the past 13 years.

Your mother was a professional SW and was probably very stressed in her work, she now has a sick huscand and a daughter who has estramged herself from him... She probably just wants a break and some time alone with her only daughter who lives some distance away. She might not even like children very much.. I appreciate that you would like her to help you out and maybe fulfill your idea of what a GM should be like but that doesn't seem gel with hers.. I would drop expectations and just enjoy what she can offer... She may be someone who prefers older children and start doing activities with them when they are more independent. I would just enjoy the small amount of time you all have together for what it is now..

It would be interesting to know how it turned out, but m y feeling is that the grandmother is completely self-centred and has/ had very little interest in her grandchildren, or her daughter. She sounds like my mother-in-law, whose main interest in life was her husband; he came before her own children and grandchildren, to whom she was perfectly kind but couldn't wait for them to leave so they could be alone together. There are more women like this than you realize.

Ha ha! Well spotted pantglas.

As a gran I have felt policed by both my daughter and dil.Lots of instructions about what to feed them,what they are allowed to do and daughter actually listened outside the bedroom door to make sure I was putting the baby to bed correctly .

There are many ways of being a grandparent. Sometimes it depends how far apart they live, and whether the grandparents are retired or not, or maternal/ paternal, or just individual personalities. And things change over the years. Expectations change. Situations change. Priorities change. Fashions change. There is not one model.
I would like to know how the OP’s situation has worked out. My relationship with my grandchildren has certainly changed over the past ten years and relates only a bit to how much I looked after them when they were younger.
Hands-on help from my own parents and in-laws was rare, as we lived miles away, but we had babysitting circles, with tokens, as mums supported each other. Do these still exist?
Today’s young parents seem to be so much more controlling than previous generations, according to various threads on here.