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Grandparenting

Access to grandchildren after separation - campaigning figurehead needed!

(35 Posts)
Carol Wed 07-Mar-12 11:29:40

In today's webchat, Joan Bakewell has suggested that grandparents denied access to their children should perhaps have a figurehead to front their campaign, and to keep writing to the people we have already discussed in other threads, but also to members of the House of Lords (definitely Dame Joan, then!). Celebrities like Gloria Honeyford have been suggested in the past. Gransnet has said they will try to get the Children's Minister to come in for a chat. Has anyone any good suggestions for a figure head? What about Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstalls' mum, or Janet Ellis?

dorsetpennt Wed 02-May-12 09:03:28

Years ago my late MIL was denied any visits with the g/children following a son's divorce - out of sheer spite. However, I have heard other reasons to deny access. A friend's children were always plied with questions about their mother and all her faults paraded out in front of the children. This made the visits very upsetting for the children. So access was only allowed with the mother present.

Maniac Tue 01-May-12 11:31:40

LydiaReid re your recent post do you have any links with Vanessa Redgrave -or any other figurehead person male or female for campaign to speed up contact rights for grandchildren.
This topic does seem to have gone cold but for those of us affected it's still a heartbreaking,constant ache.

whenim64 Mon 30-Apr-12 11:25:15

If ever a woman was cut out to be a figurehead, it's the fabulous Vanessa Redgrave. A woman of substance who people listen to. How about it, Geraldine? smile

glassortwo Mon 30-Apr-12 11:19:43

maniac this topic does seem to have died a death, think its needs shaken up a little. Could be worth approaching her, what do you think GNHQ?

Maniac Mon 30-Apr-12 11:12:30

On page 11 of May Saga magazine is a full page photo of Vanessa Redgrave.
the caption reads:-
.
‘Being a Grandmother ,That’s why you were born’
‘Vanessa Redgrave is devoted to her 5 grandchildren.
She is a goodwill ambassador for UNICEF.
She’s opening the Brighton Festival by leading the children’s parade.
She says she wants the festival to bring the young together with the old’

Is she a person we could contact as the figurehead for 'Grandchildren's Rights' to have contact with grandparents?

GNHC are you still there on this topic ?

Maniac Mon 09-Apr-12 23:31:15

Glad you are back Carol.so glad that things have worked out for your Ds and GS.As you say any plan to include assessment of grandparents will not apply to cases like my son's where parents have been divorced for some time.

Carol Mon 09-Apr-12 22:42:20

Butternut smile I feel so lucky that things have turned around with this contact with grandchildren issue, but it has highlighted for me just how much I yearned to see my grandson when I was not able to, and would never want to go back to those dark days. I see him a couple of times a week now and would want other grandparents to be in this position. The plan to include assessment of grandparents in Parenting Agreements ffollowing separation will go some way to help, but many grandparents never get into that situation when contact is denied.

Carol Mon 09-Apr-12 22:37:12

digikidnan here's the other thread I was referring to smile

Butternut Mon 09-Apr-12 18:24:28

Hi Carol (welcome back) - My first thought upon reading this thread was you!
My second thought was - you.

wotsamashedupjingl Mon 09-Apr-12 17:18:35

Geraldine contacted the prog Annobel but they said perhaps next time. hmm

I suppse if it had been recorded in advance, that would be the reason.

Carol Mon 09-Apr-12 17:01:33

Apparently, they recorded it well before transmission. One or two Gransnetters emailed but we were too late!

Annobel Mon 09-Apr-12 15:55:11

I heard a bit of it, carol and it struck me that they might have asked a number of our members to contribute. Very short-sighted!

Carol Mon 09-Apr-12 14:57:26

Did anyone hear the Women's Hour programme today, which was devoted to grandparents? I switched on when it was part way through, and heard Jane Fearnley Whittingstall talking about her recent trip, which she blogged on here. Then, a lawyer spoke about loss of contact with grandchildren situations grandparents have been experiencing, saying that those grandparents who remained non-commital towards their children's rocky marriages were less likely to be seen as taking sides after separation and therefore less likely to be denied contact, which seemed a very simplistic appraisal of a complex issue. Didn't hear any more, as I was driving and had arrived at my destination!

Maniac Tue 03-Apr-12 21:49:33

Welcome LydiaReid.Good to have the benefit of your experience with Grandparents Apart. Do you have any suggestions of someone to spearhead our campaign?
I do agree that paternal grandparents are more often deprived of contact-as in my case.
I have written of my situation in the 'Denied Contact'and
'Cut out of their lives' threads.
Will you be contributing to the 'Womans hour' programme
on Easter monday on the subject of 'Grandparents'.
Look forward to hearing more from you.

LydiaReid Tue 03-Apr-12 15:04:38

I wonder if I might make a few suggestions

For many years I chaired Grandparents Apart in Scotland
We were then a huge Charity
We offered the ability to speak on the phone just to get things off your chest
We offered a system where one person would go with another if things got to the stage where court action was necessary
We submitted petitions to parliament not just to gain advantage but also to gain publicity

We worked on what we called a three step plan

Step 1 Talking . Try every avenue get relatives or friends to speak on your behalf if they wont talk to you

Step 2 Family Mediation
If it does not happen or does not work the court is impressed if you offer this

Step 3 Court action A step that I would avoid if possible but sometimes the only option

I found the best way to make headway was through parliament through a petition

I know this is gransnet but do you feel the person you choose must be female?

From my time I can say that the people who gave most support were men

I also have a theory that if the problem with dads not getting contact is sorted then it would help grandparents

From my time we carried out many surveys and proved that most grandparents deprived of contact were indeed paternal grandparents

Carol Thu 08-Mar-12 12:05:44

I agree with what others have said, and if Baroness Butler Sloss is already with the Grandparents Association, couldn't we all unite for this cause?

Maniac Thu 08-Mar-12 11:48:14

Baroness Butler Sloss (Ive checked spelling) seems an ideal choice but she is already president of Grandparents Association,which means she is already very well aware of the issues.How would we fit into that situation?
As for doing the work I would work my socks off to get contact rights for my grandson,son and me in that order.

wotsamashedupjingl Thu 08-Mar-12 11:30:42

I doubt if anyone would take much work on without payment. [cynical]

wotsamashedupjingl Thu 08-Mar-12 11:30:02

I wouldn't think you could expect a 'figurehead' to do much of the actual work. Would have thought they would be just that a 'figurehead' ie a name at the top of the page. Wouldn't the actual people concerned have to do the work.

glassortwo Thu 08-Mar-12 11:24:52

I think she would be a good choice seven

Seventimesfive Thu 08-Mar-12 11:22:35

My vote would be for Elizabeth Butler-Schloss. As a retired judge she would bring considerable knowledge and experience together with a calm and compassionate understanding. She is a strong and respected figure and would carry a good deal of weight in putting forward grandparents case.

Carol Wed 07-Mar-12 15:34:41

Thank you Geraldine! smile

GeraldineGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 07-Mar-12 14:45:34

We will ask around our contacts to see what they think and whether one of them might perhaps be interested in taking it on. Suspect to do it properly will require quite a lot of work but it's worth asking.

And also obviously alert us if there are any stories/news developments we can pick up on - we can sometimes get something into the media.

glassortwo Wed 07-Mar-12 14:45:03

I have been looking too carol and I came up against the same problem smile

Carol Wed 07-Mar-12 14:37:53

There are 181 female peers in the House of Lords.

www.parliament.uk/mps-lords-and-offices/lords

From this list, the ones that spring immediately to mind are Joan Bakewell, Elizabeth Butler-Schloss, Jean Corston and Glenys Kinnock, but I am not knowledgeable about many of these women.