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Grandparenting

'Empty Nest Syndrome Part 2'

(30 Posts)
ElsieJoy Sun 07-Oct-12 07:49:12

I have twin grandaughters who live just round the corner from me, the rest of my family are miles away so I see them rarely. When my daughter and son-in-law had the twins I was very involved with helping and I looked after them for one whole day a week once my daughter had stopped breast feeding them at about three months. I continued to look after them one day a week until they went off to school at four and a half...then i went with them! Was a classroom assistant in the Reception Class for five years . Continued to have girlies for tea one day a week...and still do.

Then there was the helping out during school holidays/evenings/whenever needed etc as both daughter and son in law work, (daughter part time)

However, since September things have changed a lot...they are now nearly fourteen and puberty and sibling rivalry hit big time during school holidays and Grandma is now 'old' and someone they laugh at behind my back and don't want to come to tea each week preferring to go to friends or a much younger Aunt who now has a baby.

OK...all this is perfectly normal and a necessary part of them establishing their independence and so it should be...but why do I feel so bereft? Reminds me of when my last child zoomed off to University full of hope and new ideas.

I know I will eventually get used to this new chapter in our lives but at the moment I don't like it and feel so old and abandoned.

Did anyone else feel like this?

Ella46 Sun 07-Oct-12 14:11:36

Living alone, sometimes I miss that family feeling even after 20 years.
My daughter, son and now granddaughters, all take the mickey out of me but I too take it as a sign of love and affection, and that we all have a sense of humour.

ElsieJoy Sun 07-Oct-12 19:22:10

Have been talking to my eldest daughter this evening, she lives in Birmingham, is a teacher, and has worked with 'troubled teens' at a school in a psychiatric unit. She gave sound advise, sensible as always, gave me pointers to look out for but stressed that all perfectly normal especially at this age/school period for some reason. Also said that it is extremely hard for parents and grandparents especially. So I feel much happier and reassured...I have clever children smile blush...but then don't we all?

crimson Sun 07-Oct-12 19:31:29

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better!

Greatnan Sun 07-Oct-12 21:21:11

I have just had a lovely long phone call from my daughter in New Zealand telling me about their friends, who have given them a ride-on mower which cuts mowing their lawns from five hours to one hour. Another friend has given them a pressure spray to clean the pig pen, and yet another has 'lent' them a gas bbq but says they don't want it back.
Her calls are always so cheerful and full of news - I knew NZ was right for them but it has worked out even better than I anticipated. Now I can enjoy Downton Abbey with a big smile on my face.