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You never stop worrying..........

(28 Posts)
Greatnan Thu 11-Apr-13 09:22:24

First about your children, then about your grandchildren - now I am very worried about my little great-grand-daughter who is nearly three. She has just come out of hospital after three days being re-hydrated and monitored for HSP after an acute stomach bug. Her hands and feet had black bruises and of course my poor grand-daughter-in-law thought of meningitis. She has to be seen by her own doctor once a week to check her kidneys. I googled HSP and it usually clears up after a time.
Her parents spent a lot of time at the hospital, but fortunately another grand-daughter came down to Kent from Hull, where she is at university, and looked after her five-year old niece. Big families can be very useful in time of crisis.
My daughter, her grand-mother, is in close touch by phone and Facebook from New Zealand.

absent Thu 11-Apr-13 09:25:47

Greatnan Very worrying for you, your daughter, the child's parents and all the family. It's good that she is home and is being checked regularly. I don't know much about HSP but I hope it clears up soon. flowers

Sel Thu 11-Apr-13 09:29:20

Yes, absolutely true. They don't tell you that at the beginning do they? I hope your little great-granddaughter makes a quick and full recovery.

gangy5 Thu 11-Apr-13 09:31:44

It is very difficult not to worry about family goings on. I hope Greatnan that your GGD will come through OK.
My latest concern is my own big son (44) He had a tax demand for £2,000 and paid it with no questions asked. I am very steamed up about it as he and his family are always short of money and we frequently help them out.

Just recently thousands of people have had these demands but have refused to pay because they date back to 2008/9 so I'm thinking that he could have got away with not paying and should have challenged it. In my view it's tantamount to chucking money down the drain!

absent Thu 11-Apr-13 09:33:30

gangy5 But he has a clear conscience.

grannyactivist Thu 11-Apr-13 09:34:47

Greatnan I so agree. I'm not a great worrier, but I think it's inevitable to feel concern when loved ones are ill or going through difficulties. My son is 23 and married, he's still ill with meningitis and I am completely frustrated that I can't visit him because of my stupid cough. I'm sure he'll be fine eventually and his lovely wife is ensuring he receives excellent care, but the truth is I won't be wholly comfortable until I've seen for myself that he's okay.
I'm happy to hear that your great granddaughter is on the mend, but yes, it sounds like it's been a worrying time for family.

gangy5 Thu 11-Apr-13 09:50:24

Yes absent I am sure that is why he has done it!! I'm just thinking that it is grossly unfair for HMRC to send these demands out when apparently they should be received within 12 months of the end of the tax year. 2008/9 is ages ago!!

Movedalot Thu 11-Apr-13 09:50:55

Greatnan how worrying for you all. I hope she is well soon although I have no idea what HSP is. flowers

Mishap Thu 11-Apr-13 09:58:14

You are right greatnan - I am currently worrying about my father, my DD and my DGS - so it is going in both directions!

I do hope that GGD will be fully recovered very soon.

Greatnan Thu 11-Apr-13 10:41:20

Thanks, everyone, for your kind thoughts. I had never heard of HSP either but I googled it and apparently it is an allergic reaction in the capilliaries to a severe infection (I hope I have remembered that correctly - I am staying with a retired GP and he knew the full name of it, of course). Both the little girls had had stomach bugs. What frightened my gd-in-law and my grandson was that it causes black bruising, which is non-blanching, just like in meningitis.
They only told me the girls had had a bug, not that they had been in hospital. One of my daughters is the same - she never tells me she has problems until she has resolved them. I keep telling her that just keeps me constantly worried in case something is wrong and she is not telling me! Fortunately, I had six weeks with them in NZ and I could see that all the family out there were happy and healthy.
My other daughter used to ring me in France , from England, when she had a migraine!

Greatnan Thu 11-Apr-13 10:53:01

Gangy5 - your son should google 'How far back can HMRC go in making assessments'.
If he disputes the assessment, he can ask for the case to go to the Commissioners of Inland Revenue.
It is no good talking to the Collector of Taxes - they just ask for whatever the Inspector of Taxes tells them is due.

I retired in 1999 so my information is not up-to-date ,but I think they can still go back 20 years if fraud or negligence is suspected.

bluebell Thu 11-Apr-13 10:55:49

GN - am I right that we can go back upto 6 years if we find we have been overpaying and claim a refund?

Greatnan Thu 11-Apr-13 10:59:13

That used to be the case, but from the site I have quoted it seems things changed in 2008 and it is now only 4 years after the end of the tax year concerned. I am afraid I have no more information than anybody else, after so many years in retirement, but I do know where to look for the right sites, so if anybody has any tax queries and they pm me I will be glad to try and get the right information for them.

moomin Thu 11-Apr-13 11:21:14

Worrying for you Greatnan and I hope you receive good news soon. I agree, when we "sign up" to mother-hood we don't really think beyond the first 20 years or so! I could worry a lot of the time about my 3 grown-up children, all over 30 years old, together with my 6 grandchildren - there is always something going on, either healthwise or other things. I try to switch off but it is very difficult to do so isn't it?

Greatnan Thu 11-Apr-13 11:34:05

Many thanks. MY lovely GD-in-law has pm'd me on FB to say Oivia is on the mend but will be monitored to keep a check on her kidneys. I rely on her to keep me in touch, as my grandson is not the chatty type! If my daughter is skyping them, he will just pop his head round and say 'Hi, Mum'. Still, he is wonderful husband and father and I got a really good hug when I attended their wedding last year. He knows how much we all value his young wife. They have been together since their late teens and she settled him down, as often happens when some lad who has been a bit of a tearaway meets a sensible girl.

absent Thu 11-Apr-13 11:42:10

Streuth moomin I don't think I thought beyond the first 20 months – if that far! grin

Bags Thu 11-Apr-13 12:09:57

ga, I hope your cough eases soon. Is it any better?

However, I don't think you can say you aren't a worrier if you are not satisfied with what your DiL tells you of your son's illness and progress with it.

DD1 was unwell at the weekend. I had to cancel a visit because DD3 was also unwell. But when I phoned DD1 and she told me she was better, I believed her without having to "see for myself." Why wouldn't I? I would have believed my son-in-law too.

Greatnan, I'm glad to hear your greatgrandchild is recovering and hope there has been no permanent kidney damage. Horrid shock for the family.

Bags Thu 11-Apr-13 12:10:37

absent, trying to remember if I thought beyond one day at a time back then! Probably not.

Bags Thu 11-Apr-13 13:45:14

BTW, ga, my comments aren't meant to imply that meningitis isn't a worrying illness. Of course it is. I hope your son will be fine and that he is getting the best care possible.

grannyactivist Thu 11-Apr-13 17:55:00

Hi Bags my comment about my son is that he is still ill, but I had been told was well on the mend and then I found out that he had a bit of a relapse a couple of days ago, because I know something of the complications that can arise with meningitis I won't be comfortable until he's better.

moomin Thu 11-Apr-13 17:57:36

Haha absent and Bags I know what you mean, I meant as the years pass you tend to think, well once they've gone to Uni or whatever, my worries are over - think again moomin it never ends smile

Bags Thu 11-Apr-13 17:58:09

I hope you'll be comfortable that he is better, when he is, even if you can't see for yourself, though that as well, of course, would be a plus smile

nanapug Thu 11-Apr-13 18:00:11

My cousins GS had HSP when he was wee and she spent years worrying that it may come back but he is now a fit and healthy 15 year old and has had nor recurrence of it. I think she has begun to relax a bit ;)

Bags Thu 11-Apr-13 18:03:51

I'm not sure I agree that parents always worry. I don't. Not about my grown up daughters. They don't give me anything to worry about, getting on with their lives very competently and never being really ill. I haven't worried about either of them for many years (well, most of their lives, actually). I know I'm lucky. Long may it continue.

Don't worry about my grandkids either. Nothing to worry about. They have excellent parents and seem healthy.

I can't be the only one.

Gally Thu 11-Apr-13 18:13:11

I used to worry all the time about my girls, but I gave it up for Lent. wink I've got too many troubles of my own these days and I am letting my girls worry about me now. The tables have turned. We brought them up to be competent and able and they are and are all making a wonderful job of bringing up their families. Of course I am concerned when they have the odd blip, but I put it into one of my 'boxes' and concentrate on other things while they work it out for themselves.