Grandparents' rights/family law webchat - Weds 10 July 4.30-5.30pm

Those of us involved in denied contact know that a grandparents has NO automatic legal right to see their grandchildren.
Of course you can go through the courts, but is that the way forward?
It could cost you your life savings and cost you huge emotional stress, so go into it with both eyes open.
I really hope that David Vavrecka, is honest about costs and outcomes, bearing in mind his profession?
Me cynical, I most certainly am.
Perhaps he would answer the question," If a contact order is breached, what will be the consequence be for the person breaking that order, the reality not the book answer?"

Totally agree with Minty

David .Please don't waste too much of your precious time on things we already know. Many 'denied contact' Grans are well-informed on these issues.

I have 2 letters from Hon Michael Gove telling me I can apply to courts for contact .-but not how contact orders can be enforced!

When my son was refused contact in family court his solicitor/barrister
were 'Staggered' and 'Baffled' at judge's attitude.
As well as lies about my son I was accused of attempted abduction of GS which I swear is a downright lie
I question how false allegations against father/grandparents and alienation of child can be challenged?

We are all familiar with the lawyers who quite correctly say: My instructions are.......

And indeed, they have a duty to represent their clients and take instructions.

But how can any lawyer justify putting forward 'instructions' which are self evidently untruthful and worse, make unsubstantiated allegations against others which are allowed to go unchallenged.

I feel for you as we are about to be involved in a child pre-care conference which has been brought on a totally false premise. We were advised to contact a lawyer which we did, and after the initial introduction, we were told and I quote, "if social workers say jump ,we say, how high??? He meant lawyers, so what hope have we of them speaking for us? I have researched this corrupt system and been absolutely blown away at the so-called legal process in this country. I believe the outcome is decided before court, between the "mega bucks" cohorts who all agree on penance of "consequences" if they don't. I have written reports from so-called professionals giving our child true and glowing assessments and then to see others from the same person repudiating that report. God help us all, and the taxpayers who fund it all.

Hello David

My son and daughter-in-law have (mutually) decided to separate. They have two children under 5. At the moment they are getting on well enough and have agreed in principle what they will do with the house, custody and so on. Given this do they need a lawyer to arrange the divorce or can they save money by doing it themselves (I appreciate your personal view may favour the legal route but would appreciate objective view!)

I would appreciate some guidance on how custody arrangements from a legal perspective. Is it automatic that a mother has the advantage in terms of the children living with her? It seems very unfair that many hands-on fathers are reduced to seeing their children every other weekend even if they have played no part in the breakdown of the relationship

Have you (as a lawyer) managed to secure access for grandparents to their grandchildren when it has previously been denied? It would be uplifting to know that some stories have happy endings

I wonder if anyone has ever approached this subject from the perspective of the grandchildren. There is an organisation in the USA called AGA alienation of grandparents anonymous. This situation unfortunately is worldwide and so many of us are in this sad situation. I am wondering what the children feel about this. Has anyone got experience of grandchildren coming to find their grandparents when they are older and did they see this alienation as a form of abuse ? I would be pleased to hear any success stories and to know how grandchildren feel about their parents not allowing them to see their grandparents.

Heard that 1 in 4 under 16's have separated parents.A campaign 'Kids in the Middle'is planned to give them a voice.
David do you know anything about this?

Hi David. I'm not really sure if this is your remit, but I'll give it a shot. DH and I haven't written a will. In the event that something was to happen to both of us, who would our son go to? Would he automatically go to his grandparents - and if so - which set of grandparents? Is there a law on this kind of thing? <clueless>

In the eyes of the law - is it better to be married?

lollybushell,
Maybe I can answer your question in part.
Yes, some grandparents are reunited with their grandchildren, often when they are in their teenage years.
They do understand that they have been alienated by their resident parent, which causes untold damage to them, the person they have loved and trusted has let them down and lied to them.
Building up a relationship which has been so traumatic takes sensitivity and patience.
So yes there are positive stories out there.

Is it a myth that the mother nearly always gets custody of the child?

Can I ask please where do you stand on the wider family being first consideration when a child cannot remain with its parents? To me it makes absolute sense that if there are grandparents or other relatives who are in a position to care for the child/ren they should do so but I am not sure that the law would always agree?

I want to ask - I hope this is on your patch - about whether I need a lasting power of attorney for my mother? We already have an enduring power of attorney from way back and I'm not clear why doctors who might be treating my mum wouldn't consult me and my brother as a matter of course and why we wouldn't be able to express her wishes (which are very clearly and always have been for no invasive treatment or major operations).

My daughter's partner has a child as a result of a very brief affair he had shortly before he met her. He has always paid for his son and seen him as often as possible - which has meant travelling several hours in an evening because they live in another town - but the child's mother often refuses contact at the last minute. She is particularly prone to do this when my daughter has planned something - a family party, a weekend away. The mother seems to take pleasure in wrecking the family's arrangements.

I would like my daughter's partner to stand up to this woman more and threaten to get legal enforcement but (I think influenced by fathers for Justice publicity) he thinks that fathers are not given priority by the courts and he might end up not seeing his son at all.

I think this is ridiculous given how exemplary his behaviour has been. What can I say to persuade him?

David, my question is about transfer of money between generations. The old are always being encouraged to downshift and my mother has recently done so and handed over to her children some of the proceeds of the sale of her house. She is independent and perfectly competent at the moment, although showing some signs of confusion (repetition etc) which worry us. In the worst case that she were to need care at some point, what would be the status of the money that had been handed over - would the local authority seek to reclaim it? What if it had been spent?!

My daughter is talking about doing the paperwork for her own divorce. The separation is pretty amicable and they are agreed that they are both going to look after the children (I have my reservations about this - children going backwards and forwards all the time - but they're not listening to me).

Is this easily done? Is it wise?