Gransnet forums


A controversial view of grandparenting

(47 Posts)
thatbags Sun 23-Mar-14 11:30:18

Quite amusing in a way but prepare to be outraged as well wink

Gally Sun 23-Mar-14 11:39:34

Hrrmph! What's all this 'middle class' / 'working class' stuff? No wonder there's division in the camp shock

janeainsworth Sun 23-Mar-14 11:49:50

Well, I've looked up Cosmo Landesman on Wikipedia and I think his background (son of two American hippy types and one-time husband of Julie Burchill) perhaps informs his writing rather more than detached observation might!
As you say amusing Bags, but I don't think I have the stomach for a discussion on the relative merits of working class v middle class grandparents

Flowerofthewest Sun 23-Mar-14 11:51:24

How odd! Not sure what we are, don't care really.

Ashmore32 Sun 23-Mar-14 11:55:12

I enjoyed it. My in laws 2nd gen settled travellers. I think that was their problem huge chip and all. But very keeping up with the Jones's. Didn't take any interest in any grandchild apart from their youngest daughter's son who never left my I laws home. When a problem occurred with my older twos child minder and she couldn't take our youngest we turned to the inlaws for after school. Our child care costs almost doubled and I over heard MIL say she wasn't this well of when she worked!
On the other hand my Mum a working divorcee living 200 miles away and my Step mum just a bit further away would somehow drop sticks and head down at a moments notice if I needed a week or two after tonsils etc , or dare I need a little bit of me time, in fact the little bit of me time happened most summer holidays when the children longed for time at the sea side. A life I escaped and have no longing to return to. Trying to pay their way was frowned upon!
My MIL was jealous during that time, only that I had arranged as we had for our childminder on her arrangement we only paid for what we used. I didn't tell my MIL I offset that arrangement usually with an end of year 'bonus'

I am now paying for my mother and step mothers attitude, in that I was judged badly for wanting a little bit of me time with my grandchild from my son, just as my Mums had for me. It was used against me by some snotty middle upperclass lawyers and judge who probably are living the life outlined in this article.

rosequartz Sun 23-Mar-14 12:35:13

As someone who looks after the DGC and whose DH has been known to help out with room painting etc (and etc etc), must remember to buy in some Tizer, burgers and chips and throw out the organic chicken, broccoli, peppers and not-from-concentrate freshly squeezed juice before they next come.

Oh, and cancel any ideas of far-flung trips in case I don't fit in with the stereotypical hands-on Granny.

harrigran Sun 23-Mar-14 12:47:28

Hey up, off to find DH's flat cap so we can go to Asda for some big bags of chips and chicken nuggets grin

posie Sun 23-Mar-14 12:59:13

I think some Grandparents are more hands on, some not. Doesn't depend on "class".

Galen Sun 23-Mar-14 12:59:16

I can't see me painting rooms etc. in fact I can't even get to DGD in time to stop her doing what she shouldn't be doing. But DD knows that when the kids are older ill always be available and I do what I can by providing cash. The other GPs paint rooms and child are when needed.

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 23-Mar-14 13:00:22

Love that picture! I wanna be that granny.

grannyactivist Sun 23-Mar-14 13:17:54

I suspect this article was written very much tongue in cheek in order to stir up a bit of grandparent rivalry/angst. Not playing.

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 23-Mar-14 13:22:02

I think there's something in. I am a bit of both. Don't do cleaning though.

rosequartz Sun 23-Mar-14 13:23:56

We can have fun with it, though, can't we? Please!
Just when I was going off to borrow next door's whippet. Oh, perhaps not, they are Very Middleclass.

ffinnochio Sun 23-Mar-14 13:24:08

grin for B. grin for Janeainsworth. grin for Jingle.

nightowl Sun 23-Mar-14 13:41:18

My mum was that working class granny, and I'm still trying to live up to her example. I don't know what class I am.

Ana Sun 23-Mar-14 13:45:05

There's a grain of truth in there, but it's a bit old-fashioned. Working class GPs are just as likely to be swanning off on foreign holidays, or indeed still working full-time.

A lot of it boils down to family tradition rather than 'class' - there are plenty of hands-on so-called middle class GPs out there doing their bit and beyond!

ninathenana Sun 23-Mar-14 13:45:35

Class references are a load of nonsense. There are those like DH and I who are very hands on. DH does DIY for DD and if I'm babysitting at theirs I will wash up and tidy. I once drove 150mls to pick up DGS from the child minder at ten minutes notice as he was ill and DD couldn't leave work. ( They have since moved back to this area)
The other GP's can't do this as they are abroad. They could however, contact their son and family more. It's always down to him,he left it once to see how long it would take them. It was nearly a month, and as youngest DGS has complex health issues he was not impressed.

rosequartz Sun 23-Mar-14 13:48:37

I assumed the article was written tongue-in-cheek and not meant to be a serious look at attitudes to grandparenting. What is middle class or working class these days anyway? Didn't John Prescott say we are all middle class now?

nightowl Sun 23-Mar-14 13:52:44

I'm glad my mum didnt hear him rosequartz she would have felt insulted grin

thatbags Sun 23-Mar-14 14:00:34

I read it as tongue in cheek, roseq. I think you're bang on target there. That's why I found it amusing. I loved his 'turn of phrase'. A very piss-taking article. Good for the soul, "for wht do we live but to laugh at our neighbours and to be laughed at in our turn" – probably a misquote (Jane Austen), but you get the idea. grin

rosequartz Sun 23-Mar-14 14:27:46

grin thatbags

rosequartz Sun 23-Mar-14 14:29:45

And nightowl grin

Aka Sun 23-Mar-14 14:32:43

Very funny!

granjura Sun 23-Mar-14 14:38:21

hilarious .... as well as a load of *** smile

GadaboutGran Sun 23-Mar-14 15:04:32

I've read funnier pieces about grandparenting. Just found it completely wrong compared with all the GPs I know from whatever class - all have their GCs at the centre of their lives & do so much finaniciaally & practically for them & their parents. A working class neighbour's daughters all had kids very young & they all stayed in the area. She ended up adopting one GD to protect her & was totally exhausted as a result of that & having to rescue other GCs -& work. I find the term Middle Class cvers a very wide range of people & descriptions of them never seem to fit me with WC/Lower MC up-bringing.