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Grandparenting

I need your prayers!!!

(330 Posts)
nannynoo Sat 04-Apr-15 16:27:34

Please pray for us as a family

It has been a rough road this past year

As many of you know 3 family members bereavements including my baby Granddaughter at 37 weeks into my older DD's pregnancy

My younger DD becoming an alcoholic before my very eyes which has been sad and heart breaking with my GS in foster care for 9 months , even MORE heart breaking as he is an innocent child in this , with Autism

DD turned up 'under the influence' today for her visit with him , difficult visit , am sure observations were noticed as she is a different person when sober but 9 months in she is still drinking and needs more intense help now

The social worker is coming to look at my assesment again on Thursday re me caring for my GS full time and I am praying it goes well

It is so important to me and I am asking for your prayers

I feel he will be happy , secure and content with me xx

Plus I love him to the moon and beyond!!! x

nannynoo Tue 26-May-15 13:19:08

I still miss him every day but that is 'part of the course'

Hopefully I will get a phone call very soon and get the assessment out of the way and things can then be put in place

FarNorth Mon 25-May-15 09:21:41

Things seem to be going well for you, Nannynoo, and you are making excellent preparations for your DGS. Fingers crossed, he will be with you soon. smile

loopylou Mon 25-May-15 06:03:05

I'm thrilled for you nannymoo !
What a wonderful time your DGS and you will have together grin

nannynoo Sun 24-May-15 22:22:23

I am feeling much better now

I clipped my puppys hair with electric trimmers today and it came out ok!

He looks so cute and adorable with his 'summer' cut and I AM seriously tempted to do my GS's wink lol

I am going to finish all my housework tomorrow then concentrate on the garden , have got some slow burning woodblocks for the chimnea so might try that out one evening and the weather has been lovely so hope it stays that way

I went to see my DD's rehab place on Saturday after the visit with my GS ( they have reinstated her visits now she is in rehab and staying clean ) and even though both she and the other residents are quite stressed and on edge it was still actually nice to meet them and see where she is staying

Amazing thing is as well we popped to the shopping centre after to do some shopping and then me get the train back from the town centre and we bumped into my OTHER DD with my 3 year old GD and my SIL!!

Of all the coincidences and odds of that happening it was SO lovely and my GD came running up to me with her arms open saying ''Nanneeeee!''

She cried when they had to take her home bless her as she wanted more time with me so we will have to arrange that more!!

I am looking into finding a CRB checked local babysitter to have on hand as I would prefer to have someone set up 'just in case' as I need to take care of my wellbeing and keep my 'batteries charged' and there are some people I know in my area from my local church so I am going to ask them if they know someone with good childcare skills who may be available at times to babysit possibly overnight as well as family have offered but they do not always do what they promise and I would like to have a good support network in place

There is a weekly group a bus ride away for parents / carers of children with Autism so I would like to attend that too and will be going next week to check it out , along with the swimming club for children with special needs which is only about a 10-15 minute walk away!

Feeling so good about having everything in place , am glad it is summer as am thinking of getting the large paddling pool out of the loft if we get some scorching days so we can cool off in the pool smile

SO much to look forward to now and it is SO exciting - I reckon after the next assessment which should be very soon it will all happen VERY quickly after that , as I will be more 'approved' and then we can set everything in place like the practicalities of payments and support etc etc

I may have to possibly attend a course but I would like to do some more workshops etc anyway and SS will be checking in on me on a monthly basis to see how things are going , but I don't mind that as I will feel supported that way rather than just 'left to it' which happens more after a guardianship order which may come later on

We had a LOVELY visit with my GS on Saturday , we played bat and ball , he went on the trike which he loves and I brought in some clay and clay tools etc so he made some clay shapes and I made him a little clay cat which he loved as he would not let go of it

Will be bringing his bike next week so he can ride it around the yard area and then take it with him , but will ask for it back at the end of course

I am glad he has settled back in as I would rather he was not in any distress and emotional pain , the foster carer said he had been mentioning me though , bless him , and my dog and I gave him some photos I had done of our time together , the dog , his family members etc as I do not want him to forget us and he will see us all soon so I want him to have / keep that connection going as it is important for him to know who he will soon be with smile x

Grannyknot Fri 22-May-15 16:06:12

Hi nannynoo if you search "dog grooming for beginners" on youtube there are loads of instructional videos for example this one m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=ue-IsoURzOI

Have a good weekend flowers

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 22-May-15 15:49:46

wink

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 22-May-15 15:49:25

But don't cut his hair

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 22-May-15 15:48:44

I don't understand why you've got to wait on their "red tape" stuff now. It's obvious you can look after him, and he belongs to and with, you.

That probably doesn't help. Sorry.

nannynoo Fri 22-May-15 15:42:52

It's the 'in the meantime' which is difficult , extremely difficult as I miss him SO much , even MORE now since he has been here with me and knowing how happy he was etc

My puppy is fine , he is going for his neutering in 6 weeks time and I have had a go at cutting his hair as he is getting too hot now the weather is improving here so my first attempt at it has not been very good so need some good clipppers I have ordered rather than just using the scissors as they are not so accurate and even if it is not perfect the first time I will continue to hone my clipping / grooming skills as not only will it save me money but because he is so sensitive / timid he gets traumatised at the groomers so will be nice for me to do it for him at home...

Look out GS Nanny might very well get some clippers and start doing yours next wink LOL

I cut my own hair at home as well with a clip gadget from China which really works well! So it saves me so much money and I reckon if I master doing ALL our own hair it will save me approx £80 every 6 weeks or so and that can be better spent on treats for all of us! Me , my GS and doggie too smile

Am not feeling great but am finding ways of moving forward , so grooming my puppies hair is my new hobby to master in the meantime plus work on the garden some more and am ordering some 'mulch' for the borders which is made of crushed seashells dyed blue!! All these things will focus me and cheer me up as I just have to keep moving forward x

nannynoo Fri 22-May-15 15:29:30

I am so doing my best but am still grappling with my difficult emotions like the PAIN and anger BUT am trying to look at things logically as well which will HELP my emotions I reckon

There have been cases where the child/ren have been placed with Grandparent WHILE / before they do the assessment , then the Grandparent has failed the assesment and the children were removed!

NONE of us want that to happen plus we have already seen how traumatised he was after having to return to foster care after a short visit so there HAS to be more security then that in the placement

I think they MAY place him after the first assessment is done if that goes well as I think after that it has to go to panel but if the first assessment goes well then it is all looking good re that anyway

It HAS to be a secure placement for him and I want that so much for him too as well as for myself to be honest - I don't want anything hanging over my head - I need to know he is placed with me permanently and securely until Mum hopefully gets fully and long term / permanently well

There has to be no more uncertainty over what is going to happen to him and although SS are fully on my side the assessment is out of their hands once they have sent of the report / their positive assessment , so we do have a little or hopefully not long way to go yet

I have to think about what is best for little man as he CANNOT be moved from pillar to post and he needs to ''move in'' with me with all the PAPERS in place and for full approval to happen first which gives security to both of us

The HARD part is WAITING for all the assessments to happen even though the SW said she is 'pushing it through' as it IS URGENT now I reckon as everyone is feeling it now , so will be nice to have the assessments out of the way and to be approved as that will be such a RELIEF knowing he is with me securely and legally and with all the appropriate documentation in place

Jomarie Thu 21-May-15 21:49:15

Such a great way of looking at this awful time you've been having nannynoo - ie pregnancy and giving birth! It will be a new beginning for you, your DGS and your DD as well. You are so right when you say it will happen and at the right time. Your patience will be rewarded and, hopefully, it won't be long before we have posts from you saying he's driving you crazy and you're sooo tired!!! How is your little dog? smile

nannynoo Thu 21-May-15 19:38:52

It is SO frustrating , but frustration , pain and yearning are emotions I have had to get used to dealing with in this and have patience as I have no choice

My DD is keen for him to be with me , she cried when they said ''not yet'' as she wants him out of foster care and with me so badly

I think she also feels bad that little man is suffering being away from his whole family because of HER alcoholism and she knows I am suffering too without him so the guilt must set in at times and she will breathe a sigh of relief too when he is out of care

The relief will be great for all of us but all we can do is sit tight and wait and am going to use the time to 'prepare' plus use this time of 'space' to the max before I take him on full time with no 'space' like this from then on

This WILL happen and at the right time I believe , even though it IS frustrating in the meantime , frustration is a huge part of it but something I have to deal with in all this as part of the course as they DO take time for things to come out the other end , it's almost like giving birth lol and hard work at that till this baby is 'delivered' to me safe and sound ( but then has to recover from the trauma of the journey ) x

Judthepud2 Thu 21-May-15 19:07:16

What amazes me is the length of time this is taking! I would have thought you as his grandparent would have had the automatic right to have the care of your grandson rather than place him with a stranger. Am I being naive? Surely it is apparent how devoted to him you are, and how much he loves you. Has your DD no say in this either?

How frustrating that the SW has gone on holiday just at this crucial point. My heart goes out to you and your DGS. Hope things will be resolved really soon.

Faye Wed 20-May-15 23:34:23

I missed this thread and just want to say how pleased I was to read your grandson will be living with you very soon. Well done. flowers

nannynoo Wed 20-May-15 23:13:04

Thank you so much , am going to concentrate on the 'final preparations' now eg getting his room decorated as the walls haven't been painted , just everything in it's place but not the walls done , and I have a poster wall for one wall which I am sure he will love and will 'complete' the room

Plus there were so many toys I had not managed to get and fit batteries for so I will have to get those up and running , plus small finishing touches to the garden , plus make sure I get my support network in place beforehand eg visit a Grandparent carer support group and see what it's like there as it is something I would like to attend regularly during the day

There is a swimming club I have to sort out for him too x

grannyactivist Wed 20-May-15 21:55:59

nanynoo I've just caught up with this thread and I'm so pleased for you that you and your grandson have had such a lovely time together and that you're well on the way to being together permanently. smile

nannynoo Wed 20-May-15 21:25:57

I am willing to do my bit and ASAP at that :-)

nannynoo Wed 20-May-15 21:24:55

I think they have such a HIGH case load that it is a relief when a case is 'resolved'!!!

nannynoo Wed 20-May-15 21:19:18

I hope so too or these things end up 'coasting' if the child is settled and of course he will settle in again but I am still concerned about his emotional wellbeing and nearly a year is a long time for a child especially a child with special needs

SW is on annual leave till 3rd June now sad

So not much going to be done till then possibly , but she did say I may be contacted by the assessor to arrange an appointment while she is on leave and I HOPE so , it is frustrating , but at least I know once she gets back if nothing has moved forward she will make sure it moves forward as I know she has a sense of urgency now too and wants him to be placed with me ASAP so even with my frustration it is good to know we are on the same page , with the same aim and goal for little man - I think she will be genuinely HAPPY when it happens! smile

Just gotta get through this day now , think I need to have one more cry to get it all out , then move on and prepare for my GS being here!!

FarNorth Wed 20-May-15 19:11:20

(( hugs)) to you Nannynoo.
I can understand your upset on your GS's behalf as well as your own. Hang onto the thoughts of how well you and he got on together, and how the SS are seeing that and making arrangements for him to live with you.
Hoping that will happen very soon for you both.

loopylou Wed 20-May-15 19:09:13

Hopefully not long now until he's permanently with you, it must have been so difficult seeing him off to school.
Fingers crossed you're both back together very soon x

Iam64 Wed 20-May-15 18:59:38

That must have been hard to hear, especially when you're missing him nannynoo.
Do you have a timetable for his return to you?

whenim64 Wed 20-May-15 15:36:26

Sorry you're feeling so down, nannynoo. Understandable, after the euphoria of being together at last. I hope this is a temporary gap and your grandson will be with you on a permanent basis very soon. That yearning feeling is tough on you and hard for him to comprehend after such a happy time with you. Good luck! flowers

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 20-May-15 15:13:19

You've got to keep cheerful and keep going nannynoo. They know now that you can care for him and that he is happiest with you. I should hope that things would move fast now. Fingers crossed. flowers

Grannyknot Wed 20-May-15 13:01:16

nannynoo re-read your own happy posts on the previous page and take heart from the good times.

You have made so many gains since you first started posting here, hang in there. flowers