New to all this and emotional wreck

Congrats on becoming a Grandma! Just like being a parent, being a grandparent isn't always easy but most people muddle through successfully! Enjoy your visits and cuddles when you can. Facetime or Sype calls are great, especially when they are tiny. As they get older, we find that the grandchildren aren't so keen to still still for long, and also don't like the fact that they can't give us a 'proper' cuddle on Skype, but it is better than not seeing them at all. Good luck

Hello and welcome joscurry!

Sounds like you have already taken on board the unwritten rules of being a Grandma. Physically standing back yet being deeply emotionally involved. Its what we do!

I only had daughters so can only speak from that vantage but, when a daughter has a child the whole world takes on a new meaning. We always want to fight our children's battles and so when they are going through the most intense experience they will ever have it's so hard to hold back and let them make the running.

All I can really say is that you just have to let the new parents make the running, offer help (practical/emotional) IF ITS ASKED FOR. You can of course buy presents....in my experience big things need checking with them first......so I only went ahead and bought a cot after tactfully asking them both if it was wanted and what style etc. Clothing and small toys are not such a potential minefield. I did send by newly delivered daughter some really nice new Mum type toiletries that were very welcomed.

To be honest though, sounds as if you are really thinking this through and there is so much joy to be had just watching the new parents getting to grips with this amazing event. Watching my new SIL, who I knew very little about at the time, become this amazing caring new Dad who was so supportive to my darling daughter was a revelation.

Enjoy!

Congratulations on being a granny. I can empathise with you since the birth of my twin grandsons 7 weeks ago. I love seeing them and miss them so much when I don't see them which is usually at the weekend. I have waited a long time to be a granny and the boys' birth have given me a new focus in life. My daughter needs a lot of help and I consider it a privilege to be able to provide this. You must be so proud of your daughter- she sounds like a real coper and has already created a family unit with her partner which bears testament to her own upbringing.

Congratulations on being a granny. I can empathise with you since the birth of my twin grandsons 7 weeks ago. I love seeing them and miss them so much when I don't see them which is usually at the weekend. I have waited a long time to be a granny and the boys' birth have given me a new focus in life. My daughter needs a lot of help and I consider it a privilege to be able to provide this. You must be so proud of your daughter- she sounds like a real coper and has already created a family unit with her partner which bears testament to her own upbringing.

Can only agree with what everyone is saying to you so will just add Congratulations on having such a lovely family. My daughter had a baby boy 16 months ago and he is our first and likely to be only grandchild. The emotion for both myself and husband on holding him and being with him goes very deep and wasn't quite what we expected so these feelings seem to affect us all. We live at least a 3 hour drive from them while his other grandparents are local so not always easy for us. Try to make the most of the time you have with the family, not always easy I know, but be kind to yourself and go with how you feel.

I was working with a group of young mothers when my daughter was pregnant and asked them for advice on how to approach being a grandmother. One of them said, 'Remember you're a mum first'. My granddaughter is now 3 and that was the best advice I've had - not sure that I always remember it though..... but should.

I can really empathise with how you are feeling. My daughter gave birth to my first grandchild two weeks ago - a beautiful baby girl.
I managed to control myself during the phone call telling me of the birth but collapsed sobbing in a heap when I put the phone down. I think it was pure relief that my daughter was okay plus the joy of the new arrival.
They live over 200 miles away and I went down to stay for a couple of nights the next day and will be going again for a week next week. Feel so privileged to be able to share this wonderful experience with them and am on my best behaviour!