My son and his lovely wife had their first child 3 weeks ago at the age of 40. They were so happy about this although the birth ended up being an emergency Caesarean. He has looked after him so well, as my DiL is obviously limited in what she can physically do. We all get on well and I have shared some of the care with my DiL's mum when my son when back to work. However, he rang me this week to say he isn't coping with this life and is away from his son so much he feels he isn't bonding with him. He was promoted at work a month before the birth and it means him travelling a lot. He says he feels he has lost his life and his wife and is neither a good dad or husband. I am so sad as he appeared to be a wonderful caring dad. He loves his job and I don't think he is over stressed by it, but seems to feel split in two. He did have 2 weeks paternity leave, but unfortunately the planned induction didn't go according to plan and he had already spent 4 days in hospital and another 2 days before his wife came home, so only had another week at home with them.
I was sympathetic with him and tried to understand and reassure him, but now I feel quite cross and that he is being selfish and should just accept that this is now his new life. The old life is no more and my DiL is having far more adjustments to make. I don't think it would help to say this. He is in such conflict with himself and already berating himself.
Is there anything I can say to help? I can't bear to think that a happy marriage might go wrong after the birth of a much wanted baby. The man always has to go back to work after the birth, so do any others feel like this?
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