mealtimes

I did wonder but refrained from saying as I can't eat brown and everyone else in the family dislikes it anyway!

Anything to fill them up if it's just for a weekend (but not the cheapest bread).

What's the definition of 'good bread'? Serious question.

What if the little darlings will only eat supermarket white?

Agree with Luckylegs9. I just feed them what they want to eat (within reason!) and leave the nourishing well-balanced diet to their mum.

Good bread, ham and cheese never hurt anyone for a couple of days, why have a battle. Enjoy.

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Christmas and all the very best for the New Year and to say I've found the advice given very practical and helpful and if I've not managed to implement it all this weekend, I shall certainly bear it in mind for the next time we look after them. Saturday tea went best of all with ham sandwiches and bits on plates to pick at, and if he's said he's not hungry or left a meal, I've gone along with it and tried not to worry.
The house is far too quiet this morning!
Many thanks again.

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Christmas and all the very best for the New Year and to say I've found the advice given very practical and helpful and if I've not managed to implement it all this weekend, I shall certainly bear it in mind for the next time we look after them. Saturday tea went best of all with ham sandwiches and bits on plates to pick at, and if he's said he's not hungry or left a meal, I've gone along with it and tried not to worry.
The house is far too quiet this morning!
Many thanks again.

MeggyMay I am so sorry you are having to cope with two crises at once. You do naturally want your freedom back but also you now have an opportunity to take part in the upbringing of your grandchildren for a short while.

Start a new thread and then we can chat with you.

As a first step, I suggest you get your daughter to the housing department of the council and find out which organizations have lists for housing for single mum's.

Secondly you must establish 'house rules' Its your house and you are not your daughter's house keeper. You may also wish to charge rent to the level of the bedroom tax limit (see .gov.uk) Good luck.

Thirdly you need time to grieve for the loss of your husband and to sort out your financial affairs.

All the very best to you and your daughter and grandchildren. Hopefully you will enjoy Christmas and look forward to the New Year.

Elder DGS likes ham and little else. He is getting a little better as he gets older but he's still having ham for Christmas dinner .

Until he was about 10 years old my son would eat only crisps and tomato for breakfast. Hates tomatoes now, but the crisps remain a favourite.

Lots of good advice here from everyone, and it does reinforce my feeling that making a fuss over children's weird eating habits is just not worth it! My eldest DGD is a bit picky with her food, but if we make a tent and have an 'inside picnic' she'll eat anything. OK so it's sarnies, fruit and yogurt mostly - but she won't die of malnutrition. Her mummy, my DDIL is quite happy about this, so no more battles over what gets eaten and what gets refused.

Never battle with children over food, as it's a battle you will never win. Just give him something he will eat. He'll get over it!

This is it:

www.gransnet.com/forums/ask_a_gran/1221787-How-long-after-bereavement-before-it-stops-hurting

MeggyMay you do sound very down, which is not surprising given your circumstances. Do post again on one of the bereavement threads such as 'How long after bereavement does it stop hurting?' and I'm sure there will be others who can try to help you. This probably isn't the right place. I'll put a link up for you.

My DH passed away just three days ago after years of ill health. My DD's marriage has also just gone south so now , to my (hidden, I hope) dismay, she and her two extremely picky children have moved in with me. I have to ensure somehow that this does not go on and on, for the sake of my sanity. For the last six years my life was more and more swallowed up as more and more time was needed to take care of DH. I feel now I am not happy to give up my life any longer to care for others. I need to get my freedom back and do some of what I want to do. Is that selfish? Really can't bear the thought of being tied down again and coping with I don't likes and I'll eat that maybes and all sorts of good food ignored and wasted And noise. And mess. Oh dear. I've had enough now.

I totally agree with your point about "snacking" Gagagran.

My lovely DDiL used to drive me crazy by insisting that my two DGDs, when small, needed "snacks" regularly. Result - they never wanted to eat a meal.

Her take on that was that they needed snacks as they didn't eat meals. My take (unvoiced of course) was that if they didn't have snacks they'd eat meals. The elder one is now vegetarian but the younger eats normally. I'm glad I managed to smile sweetly and just go along with DDiL!

I'll probably get lynched for this post but never mind.....we can hardly blame children for their eating habits when we are a nation of junk food/ready meals/sugary snack lovers.

Present company excepted of course

Over 50% of the nation is overweight/obese (which of course is not their fault) and eat what they want to eat rather than foods they know they ought to eat.

Why?

For the same reasons children refuse to eat whatever is given to them and because we have too much choice and don't know the meaning of hunger.

scuttles away to nibble on a broccoli stalk

My 2 DDs have such happy memories of their grandparents, not just because Grandpa used to give them lemonade and chocolate biscuits for an early breakfast, when we stayed. I turned a blind eye and let them enjoy that very special relationship. Both have very good teeth and are not overweight!

My 2 DDs have such happy memories of their grandparents and not just because Grandpa used to give them lemonade and chocolate biscuits for an early breakfast, when we stayed. I turned a blind eye and let them enjoy that very special relationship. Both have very good teeth and are not overweight!

I would suggest putting a small amount of the dinner on his plate along with whatever sandwich he likes and say , eat what you like. He won't go hungry and as he will have finished his sandwich before everyone else has finished their meal he might just eat his meat and veg
Time with GC shouldn't be stressed , enjoy every minute they grow up too fast.
Two of my GS's are in their 20's now and I am so glad I made them happy by letting them eat chocolate biscuits for breakfast once in a while

Do the children eat between meals. They get very fussy if they do. Not hungry enough. Also serving themselves works, as a large plate of food sometimes overwhelms them.

My gorgeous Dutch GD, initially, finds it tricky at meal times when the family come and stay. However, I don't worry at all as long as she eats at the table with all of us. Children can survive on toast and jam instead of a main meal for a couple of days. (Her sibling has an amazing appetite). By the third day we're all eating the same meals.

It might not help solve the problem, but "Bread and Jam for Frances" by Russell Hoban is a lovely story dealing with a similar situation. You never know....

Ham sandwich. Stop worrying.

I am late to this discussion too but it's an on-going one for me too! My 4 year old dgs is small for his age (but seems healthy and active, and comes from families of short people both sides) but he is a nightmare to feed. The problem seems to be with his parents - my dd tries very hard to make healthy food for him that he'll like but when he refuses to eat any dinner, his father gives in (even eating some of dgs's food!) and lets him have pudding. I can't do much about what happens at home and usually when dgs is with us his mum & dad are here too. I try to make things I think he'll like but if he's already been filling up on snacks like bread sticks or chocolate (not given by me!), of course he's not hungry. I try to have lunch/dinner early when he's here as he will be over New Year's so he hasn't had time to get too hungry but it always is a little stressful.

Like others have suggested, I try not to make a big deal of it and figure that as he does seem a healthy, happy, bright little boy he must be getting enough to eat. I can remember going through a phase when I was young of only wanting to drink milk and eat dessert. My mother didn't make a fuss and just let me get on with it as I did when my son seemed to survive on milk for several months. I'm trying to do the same with dgs (just doesn't help when he sees he's creating a little drama between his parents!)