mealtimes

I've just got back from DD2 s and my adored GS who is 11 is still playing up at mealtimes and despite my own good advice I am very stressed about it as his parents do nothing to correct it and its rude! He puts his head on the table and refuses to speak if things are not to his liking. I even at great personal sacrifice (hate that kind of food) went to Nandos with them on Saturday , its his favourite place and he sulked there I really was getting very cross. DD2 wants us to go the them next Xmas but I dread it. DS hates roast dinner, in the middle of last years dinner DD2 got up and made him a macaroni cheese which he then did not eat. Aargh!!!

Well. wink didn't work!!

My brother wouldn't eat sago pudding until it was served up one day as 'rice pudding'. He ate the lot - and we have all laughed about it years later, including him. wink

Our 5yr old GS will often say that he only wants a sandwich. That sandwich is buttered and is packed with ham, cheese, lettuce, tomato, coleslaw and chopped peppers. Much more than was on his plate!

He will NOT and never has, eaten crusts.

Hope your weekend with your grandchildren is going well Sally

I've come late to this but just thought I'd throw my threepenny-worth of experience with this into the pot. It's a bit of a b****r when you've cooked a meal you know they like (they eat it at home) and they start faffing around isn't it? This is what works for me.

All I do is separate off a tiny portion of everything (eg 3 peas, a teaspoon of potato and meat) from the meal on the plate and tell them if they eat that they can leave the table.

No mention of anything else to eat instead, though I will offer fruit or yoghurts later on if they ask for it.

This always works as the portion is minuscule that I want them to eat as a token gesture and I personally don't worry if they don't seem to have eaten 'enough' as they always come to the table good and hungry next meal.

Maybe a stress situation on both your parts. Give him his cheese and ham sandwich with a smoothie fruit drink. Put the other savoury food on the table so he can add to his plate and maybe he will ask for it when he sees you eating it. But not sweet things,

Maybe it isn't just a case of not eating the food you cook at your house, but that he feels a bit special coming to grandma's and being able to eat just what he likes ie a sandwich - it will probably seem like a treat for him.

What is so nice about plain pasta?My 2 DGS and my DGD love it instead of potatoes. Such a lot of good advice on here but I go with the give him a sandwich if that's what he'll eat. It worked for me, even if 2 pieces of bread, no butter, with ham or salami doesn't appeal to me. Nowadays he eats a lot more. I do find it difficult though when I remember the eat it or have nothing that worked ( much as I disliked it at the time ) for us until I met school dinner meat, which turned me into a vegetarian for a long time.
Good luck.

We used to find that a 'snacky treaty' tea (as they called it) worked really well. Bread sticks, cheese -especially Babybel- grapes, apple, carrot sticks, little sausages, raisins etc and just let them eat what they wanted. Surprising how much disappeared!

I have my grandson every Thursday after school and he every week he eats potato waffles, eggs and beans all mixed up together. His 4 year old sister grazes on pasta, cheers, hard boiled eggs and cucumber. Does it matter? What is important is that they build a store of happy memories of being with us. Let the parents worry about balanced diets and nutrition.

I'm late to this conversation, I know. Just want to say that I hope you had a fun weekend, SallyWragg and as PPs advised, didn't stress over what GS was eating.

About the idea of saying his Mum cooked something - Is it possible, in the future, for Mum to actually do that? Cook some food for him and send it with him? That way it wouldn't be a lie.

My main concern about lying to him is that Mum might find out and be mad. That, of course, could cause problems for you. If you ever do decide to use this otherwise harmless deception (in my opinion), please check with Mum first and see if she's ok with it.

Isn't telling children that there is a real Father Christmas a deception? I was very upset when I found out there wasn't but I don't think it did any long term damage (some may disagree ).

I think it depends on the type of deception. A neighbour of mine, for instance, had to have her dog put to sleep but she told her grandchildren that he'd gone on holiday. They were asking for months afterwards when he was coming back. I don't think that was a very good idea.

But I think if telling a child that his mum had cooked his dinner means that he will eat it, I can't see what the problem is. It could be, though, that he still wouldn't eat it. It might be that being away from home means that he feels a bit more independent and able to exert his own will as to what he eats.

Having said that, I'm sure that occasionally having a sandwich instead of a "proper meal" isn't going to do him any harm and I agree with those who say it's not worth stressing about.

Relax and have a lovely weekend SallyWragg.

That was supposed to be inverted commas, not emphasised

DGD doesn't like cheese but put a bowl of grated cheese in the middle of the table and it disappears very quickly

I wasn't suggesting the child would be scarred for life by such deception, but I think telling him his mum had cooked his lunch when she hasn't is not on.

The scenario you describe is completely different, Auntieflo - no dishonesty involved.

Ana, the case of being told that Mum cooked it will not harm a child for life. When we were small, my Mum's very dear friend had two boys, one of which could be a pain. So, Auntie Edie used to come to our garden wall, hand over the boy's lunch, and he would come to ours for dinner. All eaten without fuss. He has grown up with as far as I know, no hang ups.

Can I just say thank you everyone again for the support and the great ideas which have really helped. I've only just joined gransnet and it seems a lovely group to belong to. You're right, Cornergran, I'm sure it's a phase and we should just concentrate on enjoying our time together. I'm doing bits on plates for tea. I shall take a big breath and leave him to it, fingers crossed!

Can I just say thank you everyone again for the support and the great ideas which have really helped. I've only just joined gransnet and it seems a lovely group to belong to. You're right, Cornergran, I'm sure it's a phase and we should just concentrate on enjoying our time together. I'm doing bits on plates for tea. I shall take a big breath and leave him to it, fingers crossed!

Can I just say thank you everyone again for the support and the great ideas which have really helped. I've only just joined gransnet and it seems a lovely group to belong to. You're right, Cornergran, I'm sure it's a phase and we should just concentrate on enjoying our time together. I'm doing bits on plates for tea. I shall take a big breath and leave him to it, fingers crossed!

It's a case of our rules here, too. I often need to breathe deeply when last week's favourite is greeted with 'I don't like that now' from the little one. Usually the 'just eat what you do like' tactic works a treat but we have resorted to fruit and toast just so she doesn't wake hungry in the night. Unheard of at home. Fortunately big sister just eats hers, though she does sigh a lot at the antics of the little one. Don't worry Sally it's a phase that passes. The important thing is that you all enjoy the time together. Good luck. It will be fine.

Yes, I'm like Kitty. I am supposed to abide by their rules, no pud (usually yogurt) if all the dinner hasn't gone, but sometimes I think that I gave her too much dinner anyway .....
Naughty Nanny

I think that is wrong, Indinana. It's unnecessary and dishonest and sets a bad example, even if he never finds out...

I agree with everyone.Why not make it like a picnic.Like a little dish of this and a little plate of that,then he can pick what he likes,

I'm 100% with Kitty!!

Could you perhaps prepare food in advance, meals he enjoys at home, and tell him that mummy cooked it especially for him and brought it round for when he stays. Yes I know it's fibbing but if it works, is it really so wrong?