Dressing toddlers

Can they say why they don't want to wear their coats when they are moaning it is cold? If it's some kind of sensory issue then maybe that can be sorted. If it is a power struggle, then giving as little attention as possible to the behaviour, but calmly enforcing the rules you want is the way to go. If when they moan it is cold, do you go home/back inside? Unless it's particularly freezing, do you let them experience being cold? There's clearly some kind of pay-off for them in this behaviour. A shrug of the shoulders and "Oh well that's your choice but it's a shame we can't do X because your clothes are not suitable" then walking away can often work, if it's not a sensory issue. It rather sounds as though there are different expectations from you and their parents. Intermittent reward (i.e giving them what they want sometimes) is one of the best ways of prolonging an unwanted behaviour. That's why children pester - they think if it's worked before. it might well work again. Positive reinforcement, such as a sticker chart on which positive actions can be recorded can sometimes help, but I don't advocate big rewards. Maybe something like - If you wear you coat when we go out , three times in a row, you can choose an extra story/game.

Thanks for your suggestions so far, some great tips. Putting them in the washing machine or basket would be great but they want to wear the clothes to bed as well! Thankfully I'm not there then. I have used the I'm counting to 10 or I'll choose method. It has mixed results I must say. I've got them to agree to wear a vest and long sleeves in cold weather now (last year they often would only agree to t-shirts) and everywhere we go, their coats go too! It's just such hard work and you can't take them anywhere nice out of doors this time of year when they refuse to wear their coats. They start moaning they're cold but still refuse!
Ah well, at least they wear their shoes, that's something I guess!

Excellent Nelliemoser!

My three yr old DGS went round to his Grandma's in his pjs as he refused to get dressed. When DD was ready to bring him home he did not want to put his jeans back on so after he had rolled about the floor screaming DD and I walked him back via the park with no trousers on at all. A bit mean in a cold and windy January but what else can you do.

If they like the clothes dirty, it may be because they like the smell or because they don't like the smell of the washing powder. Maybe involve them in choosing whatever the clothes are washed in. And put the day's clothes straight in the washing machine so they can't be worn again, without too much comment. Not wearing coats may also be because they don't like the feel of something inside the coat. Or it may be that they don't feel the cold. Or it may be that they are getting a huge amount of attention for this behaviour. Children are very good at spotting which (grand)parental buttons to press. You could try just not asking them to wear their coats but take them with you in case they change their minds. If you can't do that, then just say "We wear coats when it's cold. When you have put them on we can go out" and then refuse to be drawn into an argument about it, just repeating what you have said. It's called the broken record technique!

What works for our DGS is setting the timer, he always beats it!

Well, dirty clothes could go straight away out of sight into the laundry bin (out of sight out of mind is a motto that can sometimes work at that age)

As for coats, if there are two adults it sometimes seems to work if you say 'let Grandad put your coat' on if a meltdown is threatened when you try to do it.
As there are two of them you could turn it into a competition - 'who's going to get their coat on and be ready first?'

I posted just the other day about our little 6 yr old DGS who is still wearing shorts for school 'I'm not cold' !! So I totally feel for you.

We have solved the clothes issue for the 4 yr old by laying out 2 outfits every morning. He can choose ( he can even swap them round ) but that's all there is . We also put dirty things straight into the laundry at night because that's where Grampy keeps his 'stinky' socks and who wants their clothes back out of there !

Initially we put things straight into the washing machine so there was no hope of getting them back. Small as they are they recognise wet stuff cant be worn.

The other thing we have found that helps is finding a book about the challenge. Potty training was one that springs to mind - Pirate Pete's Potty - and we would read it often together. Perhaps there's one about dirty clothes?

Sounds like you have lovely spirited DGC - I love a child with spirit -- good luck !!