Advice needed about grandson and daughter in law re discipline - or lack of

Children are always a reflection of how parents treat them - it sounds like this boy may have one or both of his parents constantly on his back, nagging him not to do things and conducting a battle of wills behind closed doors - this is called negative re-enforcement and creats a negative reaction when anything is said to the child. It never seems to occur to these parents that it would be better to try and be loving and get along with their child, after all they wouldn't treat another adult like that usually.

Thank you everyone for your comments. On re-reading what I wrote I sound positively Victorian! And yet ... shouldn't we expect decent behaviour from our grandchildren? 7 is supposed to be the age of reason. I just want my dear little boy back, but last time I visited I didn't even get a smile and I wrote my comments feeling very hurt and upset since I do love him dearly. I will take the advice which most of you have given, which is not to interfere. Thank you all again for your wise words.

Granny's house, Granny's rules
Or
What happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's

keep smiling!

Love it! Thanks DaphneBroon.

Ii have two perfect GD who's behaviour is impeccable. I also have a GS who is the total opposite. Firstly boys are different from girls so don't expect the same behaviour.

You have had your go at being a parent. Personally I don't think I was that great. I have always and still do love my children so much but not sure I was a good mum. Far too nervous and worried about children being on their best behaviour (mine grew up very well behaved)

I think it is up to the parents to decide how to bring up their child. If you don't agree with what they are doing why not ask why. See if they have some issues about how you brought them up.

Back to my DGS. He had a couple of horrendous years (at school not at home where he is loved to bits). He has been through so much I cannot believe how he has coped. Maybe you GS has some issues too. Mine is autistic and has been through some tough times that an adult would find hard to cope with. I love him (and my gDs so much) if your GS is fit and healthy, be glad of it. He is a young child. Let him grow and show him you love him no matter what his behaviour.

Thank you everyone for your comments. Yes, when I have him on his own his behaviour is better as he knows he can't get away with it. We have granny rules in my home and they seem to work.

He clings to his father (my son) whenever there's anyone around and won't leave his side when they're out. I do also sometimes wonder if there is something wrong but feel his school would have picked up on it. He's good at subjects he's interested in and is clearly bright so I really believe it is a discipline problem. As most of you said there's nothing I can actually do without alienating them so I just have to hope he'll be ok. It has helped reading all your comments so thank you.

Crafting: ' Firstly boys are different from girls so don't expect the same behaviour. '

I am not sure about the above statement. I wonder what others think? If we expect different behaviour from girls and boys, do we not then end up with confirmation that it's 'acceptable or the norm' and encourage it to continue? Not sure I am expressing myself well here- and hope you and others will get my drift. Would be interested in opinion of others on this.

GS is much better behaved than his little sister. We love her to bits, but she is very clever and has perfected the art of divide and rule. To what extent is this related to the 1st, 2nd and 3rd child- rather than sex.

What is the family placing in age between the 2 girls and the boy Crafting out of interest?