noisy grandchild

In my experience, being the centre of attention is not a good thing. Girls in our family have been this, in different families and only bad things have come out of it. My niece was the first born grandchild on both sides (thorugh my husband) and she was worshipped, even though she ended up with 3 other siblings. Unfortunately, probably due to her not being used to anyone arguing with her or saying no, she overdosed accidentally in her 20's and died after an argument with her boyfriend. Not good to have been put on a pedestal. My sister, being 15 years younger than me, was always around grown ups and never got told no, hence her expectations have always been the red carpet treatment. My daughter, being nine years her brother's senior and spoilt by us due to my having a miscarriage when she was 4 years old, has also ended up with great expectations and no one saying no to her. Whe she was at home, she would talk at me, not to me.

I would try and nip this in the bud. I would have done things so much differently if I had my time over again. My grandma brought us up with the "children should be seen and not heard". Not that they shouldn't have a voice these days, but I do think we pander to them just a bit too much.

my 6 year old GS has learnt the art of patience - trained well by his parents. he knows he has to wait if the adults are talking & will say I have something to tell you, he is told to wait & we let him talk after we take a break in our conversation.

Persists does work & making into a game is a great idea

When my children shrieked, I told them about the Australian children who were only allowed to shriek if they saw a crocodile. So ours were only allowed that too... DD has told her little girls that and I was asked the other week if it was true.

Wo wo wo! Have you ever stood in a playground of young children? They shout! It's normal because they want to be heard and because they want to assert themselves. I agree with others you can teach them to turn the volume down and to wait their turn, but they certainly don't turn into badly behaved monsters just from being noisy or shrieking.

I'm an only child, mum miscarried three after me.
Our DS is an only child by our choice.
I suppose I was spoiled a bit, but certainly not where good behaviour was concerned!
Our DS was spoiled rotten, but again, no shouting, rudeness or demanding behaviour was tolerated...ever!
I knew how loved I was, and my DS knows how we feel about him, but there are rules and boundaries, and you cross them at your peril!
My DDiL has a younger sister, 16 years her junior, and the child is dreadful, she's demanding, rude, obnoxious, and her parents are too frightened to say anything to her in case she 'goes into meltdown'!
DS & DDiL have a baby due in a couple of months, I wonder what will happen when 'the little witch' is suddenly no longer the 'baby of their family'?

I have a larger than life grandson who now at 15 still talks with a Brian Blessed volumn control 'on' switch but at 3 I m sure it is normal some kids are quieter than others

This describes my Nearly 3 year old DGD to a tee! She hates it when the adults are talking and gets very shouty and demanding. She also loves other children's company and wants to be everyone's friend. Although she goes to pre school doesn't see a great many other children of her own age. She does have an older brother who is naturally quite intolerant of her. I'm sure it's (hopefully) just a stage.

My husband once lost his voice and so had to whisper to the kids. They whispered back. They were quite little and perhaps thought it was a game, or just one of those odd things adults do and which you join in with.

When my class started to become too loud I would whisper and everyone quietened down. Try it!

I train student teachers and one effective strategy I suggest is to speak quietly so the children have to strain to hear you. It (usually) results in the children lowering their voices too. On no account ever try to outdo them! I also encourage 'classroom' voice and 'playground' voice. Good luck!

I'd agree with the " indoor voice". At 3+ she'll be able to understand what a rule is, so I'd suggest a rule saying something like, " We use a quiet voice", and when she's shouty, you ask her if she remembers the rule, then ask her to demonstrate, and give loads of praise when she does.

I'm wondering too if she shouts when adults are talking just to get attention, or does she really have something to say.

Both my DDs and all 3 of my DGC came with a volume control - namely their left ear. I have never been known to turn their volume up but regularly turn it down to an acceptable level. Sometimes they play at turning it up and down by themselves. Now DGS's right ear changes his accent from rough to posh, American to Australian to Irish and if he turns it right round he speaks a few phrases in French.

IT needs to be nipped in the bud that's for sure.
Lots of strategies here-go for it!
She'll thank you when she's grown and not one of these awful "queen bees" you see about-not attractive at ll.

Your advice is good and I will try it but most of the time I have my mother 84 and she is deaf and refuses to wear her hearing aid. I have to yell at the top of my voice to make her hear and maybe that's what DGD is competing against. She can whisper so that's no prob. I just don't know how to make her a bit quieter especially as her dad like his sleep and she gets in trouble if she wakes him.

Ethel Perhaps it is your Mother who needs training . I totally refuse to shout at my DH, indeed I tend to speak softly to him until the penny drops and he puts his, highly expensive, hearing aids in. They work so well for him that it is now me that asks for the TV to be turned up.

why make her quieter its normal.... kids do not have a volume control button I worry about very quiet 'good' kids they are the ones to be concerned about shes being a very normal 3 year old

I reckon it's just a girl thing! Growing up, my DD was always quite quiet in the house, but when she was with her friends - whether in or out of doors - the volume skyrocketed! They all wanted to talk at once, so shouting was the order of the day. We went to pick up GS from school on Monday and waiting for him to come out, there were two mothers with four nine year old girls who were all going to one of their houses for tea. They were so excited about it they were jumping up,and down, shouting and screaming! I could still hear them cackling away when they got to the bottom of the road! If they'd been coming to my house for tea I think I'd have locked myself in the shed! When the boys come out, they seem to be much quieter together.

all things to bear in mind, shes been on holiday for the last week and I haven't seen her so I miss her terribly I don't care if she screams the house down now its too quiet with out her.

Princess sure has you all wrapped round her little finger, doesn't she! Who disciplines her and puts her in her place?
They absolutely do have a volume control at this age. My son is almost this age. Yes, sometimes he tries to speak over us, but then he is told that we we're talking first and he needs to wait his turn. Then we finish our conversation and ask him what it is he wanted to say. He is my world, but I don't want him to be spoilt. Firm but fair is the way to go.

We have an extremely noisy grandson of 3.5 yrs and think the system used by n and g is definitely worthy of a try.... We are desperate at times!!

Have you explained to her about your mother? One of the things she is seeing is that you raise your voice to be heard and so she is doing the same. All the advice about whispering or speaking quietly is good. I have heard a class of noisy 6 year olds transformed because 'Miss has a bad throat'. You could try giving her permission to shout at your mum, but no-one else, so she has an outlet for her voice. I also used to tell children that I had a hearing problem and I couldn't hear them properly if they shouted. Once she realises that you ignore the shout but respond to a quiet voice she will adapt her behaviour.