Havent things changed!

Me Christinefrance. We have a step grandson age 9 and twin boys aged 3. All three are much loved and adorable and we enjoy looking after them, though we have the twins separate from their big brother as their interests are so different. They live about 150 miles away and we see them roughly every 6 weeks. We either go to their house and stay for a few days or they come to stay with us for 3 or 4 days. I must say that the arrangement suits us very well as both my husband and I enjoy a variety of activities plus we both have elderly relatives to care for.

I never had a burning desire to be a granny and was surprised when it happened as DS and DD both said they didn't want children. Having said that, I'm delighted that I am now a grandparent and send my congratulations to MarySunshine. Hope you have as much fun as we have had! ?

I got seriously broody this weekend watching all the tiny children wobbling about on Brancaster beach and thinking back to when GS was that age. He is our only grandchild and, like other posters, we looked after him two days a week from the age of about six months, so we had the full panoply of kit and caboodle in place for when he stayed with us and just kept on adding stuff - a proper mattress for the travel cot because I thought the one it had was too thin; a high chair; play pen, toys and clothes without number, strollers, then bed guards, car seats, stair gates...... Now he is nine and quite the young man. He has had his own room here since we moved four years ago, but isn't here overnight that often these days outside the school holidays, and even then he prefers to be at his house because that's where his friends are, which is perfectly understandable. We are going to have to look for a compromise, but God, I miss all the baby/toddler/preschooler stuff! Have to go; I have something in my eye.....

My 12 year old grandson has lived with me all of his life. I love him dearly and really missed him when he went on a rugby tour for a few days. We still have snuggles on the sofa while watching tv, home made popcorn while wrapped in a furry blanket ( with the blinds closed of course, can't have any of his pals seeing us ?)
I have a new grandson 8 months old and see him about every 2 weeks but would be very happy to care for him when DIL returns to work. Looking after my grandchild keeps me on my toes and I have lots of young mums as friends.
When my grandson moves to uni or leaves home I would love to live in Italy for a while and learn Italian. Just yesterday he and I discussed whether it was feasible to spend the school summer hols there, camping or such like. Anyone ever done this and could pass on info?

Greyduster ?

We haven't Solitaire but check online to see if there are companies such as Canvas where you can go to a tent already erected complete with beds and all the equipment.
There are lots of sites in France like that, but we've not been camping in Italy.
Camping fun but much easier than taking it all with you (which we have done too).

We don't so often get the grandkids to sleep over, but keep sets of spare pyjamas, mainly hand-me-downs provided by DD and DDiL. Then if they visit and grandkids fancy a bath here DH and I can enjoy supervising the splashes and spend a little more time with them while they have a snack. They then go home in the car well wrapped up, teeth cleaned (all 3 have marked toothbrushes here too) and ready for bed when they arrive. It works quite well, especially if one falls asleep enroute so can be carried from car to bed.

My elder 2 GDs live in Australia so we depend on Skype.We skyped this morning and had a wonderful time.They sang and danced they were so cute I wanted to cry.We had a game of hide and seek.(My son walks around with laptop and looks in places I tell him to)The girls love it and their laughter often gives their position away.Then I got lots of hugs and kisses.It better than nothing but it would be wonderful in real life.
My great sadness is that my 3rd GD lives only 5 mins away but we are not allowed to see her.IT seems so cruel.

''The son's a son till he takes a wife, the daughter's a daughter for the rest of her life'.

I have just read the 22 posts and couldn't help but notice that most of you refer to having DDs. Those of us who only have DiLs don't have quite the same cosy relationship no matter how much we would like to!.

My DiL is a super sufficient wife and mother who seems to manage everything (including a career) with no help from me no matter how much I offer.

How very different the two relationships are and it is so unfair for the 'other' granny who barely gets a look in.?

disagree with that quote re a sons a son until he takes a wife etc...my daughters are like strangers their choice not mine! my son on the other hand although living miles away is always in regular contact ..his wife is the best dil ever better than my real daughters!

I'd say the son/daughter thing depends on individual members in individual familes. Each person's personality and previous experiences are different, and each person has different expectations of how they will relate to an inlaw. First impressions count for a lot too and stick in the memory for a long time.

Well I have 2 DsIL & we get the children a heck of a lot. We too have 1 room set aside for 6 DGC-who usually come 3 at a time but we have had 5 before now.
We have twin beds in the room but I have a double sofa bed in my craft room & also a travel cot. The 3 boys are quite happy to sleep 3 in the 2 beds- in fact when all 5 stayed I went up to tuck them in to find all 5 of them there- fast asleep & nestled together like a littler of puppies! I expect we will have all 6 before very long.
I bought 2nd hand toys & was given a lot from neighbours/friends too. I got some bits -like stair gate & high chair from NCT sales which are very good & I keep a set of clothes for each child here in case of emergencies- they bring changes but there have been times when all their clothes needed washing after a day out.
The eldest is now 12 & is still very happy to come ( he does bring his play station with him but it is restricted to certain times when he can play it!)& the youngest has just turned 2 & they all play together wonderfully well ( & very noisily), I love to see them play with their siblings & cousins & I am very aware of how quickly they grow up & how short this precious time is.
I am know we are amazingly lucky that they all live within easy reach of us (30 mns max) & can come to stay so often.
I am also sure my DSs & DsIL are very aware how lucky THEY are that we love having them to stay & look forward to it.
Enjoy every minute Mary S - we do!!

Great idea Jalima, thank you. I did a similar thing with my 3 children 30 years ago when newly divorced and we stayed in a chalet in Spain. I'll research it online ?X

I've got 7 grandchildren who all live less than 5 miles away and I still work part-time ( my husband of 9 years still works full time ) so I'm a help if needed but can't commit to anything on a regular basis grandmother and we don't have a spare room where they can stay unless, in an emergency, on an inflatable mattress in our study/additional storage room. We arrange things with the children some weekends, always do either Christmas Day or Boxing Day, do an Easter lunch and Easter egg hunt and I see them regularly in school holidays.Compared with what some of you do this seems very little but having brought up my own children as a single parent and worked long hours as a teacher, marking hundreds of exam papers in school holidays to earn extra money ( so as not to ruin the children's days doing so I used to get up 4 a.m. and mark until they woke) I feel this is my time to relax and enjoy on the days I don't work. Like Christinefrance I don't feel an overwhelming urge to be totally involved.

Well done, Marion6, you've definitely earned your time to do your own thing, and we're not all totally involved with DGC. We are always ready to help out when needed, but don't have a regular commitment. As for toys, the big hit this weekend, for 2 year-old BG twins, was bits of sellotape to stick on teddies, themselves and other (monitored) places.

It's it always the case that the dad's parents are less close than the mum's . My DiL doesn't get on with the her mum and they see a lot more of us than the other grandparents.

I meant it's NOT ALWAYs the case!

Yep. I am with you on that one. I am happy to do a regular babysitting session weekly and to do back up in emergency but other than that, been there, got the tee shirt. :-)

Referring to post by Christinfrance

I will stick my head above the parapet with you. :-) Also happy to help if needed but really feel I have been there and got the tee shirt.

Sorry. Newbie here. Haven't quite got the hang of it. :-)

We all have a different approach to families don't we. My ex husband used to say I had the maternal instincts of Herod - bit cruel but you get the drift. I love them all but enjoy my independent life as well. Thanks for joining me above the parapet thuberon.

Our grandchildren also live some miles away. Fortunately, I had kept a swinging crib, a cot and a high chair which converts to a low chair and table. I bought a steriliser and baby alarm from the charity shop This was very successful, in fact my daughter 'borrowed' the crib for downstairs use when they were tiny! We have a single bed with a 'roll under' in our spare room and a cupboard full of toys, games etc. We now also have a TV with DVD player in there and they bring their own Xbox and films!

Our DGC live about an hour and a half away, I go down every Tuesday and take them out for the day,they are only aged 2 and 4 and have them for a long weekend every month.Our DS brings them to see us on Sundays sometimes when DDIL is working so like lots of you we have a spare room full of kiddy stuff. DDIL,s parents live a days journey away and do not have anything for the children so they have to take everything with them,they don't get a visit very often, do you think this is cunning plan?hmm!

I've always done something similar - my grandchildren now range in age from 7 - 21, but they all have clothes, toothbrushes and toys here (for the littler ones anyway, the biggest one is at Uni doing costume design and now seems to keep a handy stash of craft materials at my house for entertainment when here!!). We've got a triple sleeper bunk bed and two fold up matresses, and it is a bit of a squash but we love being able to see so much of them!! They come to stay each weekend, and all that needs to be dropped off is the children, everything else they need is here. It has been especially valuable when there have been emergencies, i.e. my daughter was taken ill and had to be admitted to hospital unexpectedly when the eldest was 4 yrs old, so she came to stay here for a week so that son-in-law could still go to work and hospital visiting, but it meant that because she was used to staying here and had familiar things, the upset of mum being ill was minimised.

The clue is in the title of course'Gransnet' which is why so many of us have responded saying that we love having our grandchildren around as much as possible. Perhaps if we weren't so grandchildren focussed we would be on a different forum.?