Oh thanks Marysunshine. So I am!
Good Morning Good Friday 29th March 2024
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SubscribeRecently joined up here and have been reading through various threads to find my feet, and Im shocked to see how many grandparents are treated badly and taken for granted.
This must be such an heartbreaking thing to happen and it has made me aware of how vulnerable the family relationship can be to change. With my GS being just four weeks old, I was thinking I hadnt seen much of him, as Ive only seen him four times but I now think differently.
We live twenty five miles apart and I was told that everytime they went out visiting with the baby it was too 'stressful' to take so much stuff with them. They live in a third floor flat and the car is in an underground carpark so I guess it isnt easy. They are also doing everything by the book and I find it unbelievable the amount of things a baby needs these days! Everything is 'all singing all dancing' and baby world seems to have changed so much over the past twenty five years!
But not to be deterred, I decided to start to collect my own set of baby essentials. By asking about and using Gumtree I now have my own pushchair and covers. I have an electric (yeah electric!) steriliser, a baby bouncy chair, a travel cot and bedding, a box of toys and Ive been given so many clothes and other bits and pieces. I havent spent more than fifty pounds on 'my collection' and Ive been surprised at how many people jut want things out of the way.
Of course the down side to this idea is that my spare room now resembles a nursery! The good side is that when I showed them what I had they were quite impressed. I was able to invite them to come and stay next weekend and they have agreed. They are both going to catch up on their sleep and an evening out together while here and Im allowed to have littlun while they do (smile)
I really hope that those of you having a rough ride with family can find a way to resolve your difficulties.
Oh thanks Marysunshine. So I am!
Welcome to the wonderful world of grandparenting, it's joyous beyond belief. It seems like yesterday when my DD told us our first was on the way and he's 9 now and no 4 is a very grown up 3. So the cot, nappies, potty, high chair etc have all gone but the cupboard under the stairs is full of toys and we have lots of children's books - some thanks to GN.
DS lives round the corner and we see quite a lot of them, but as I work full time we don't do much child care - the odd overnight to give them a break. DD and family now live in rural Spain so that feels quite difficult, BUT, they're on their way back for 5 weeks and should be here tomorrow - beyond excited, can't wait to give those boys a big hug, and Mum & Dad of course!
Youngest DS is still at home, he's 23 and has a girlfriend but think they're a long way from planning a family but I do hold out the hope that we might enjoy the baby stage again, hope I'm not too old to be trusted!
We sometimes hold big family parties here and my sisters and I can't believe that we're not watching our children playing together but watching them watching their children - if you get my drift. Hope we get a good few more years to enjoy watching them all grow
Isnt variety the spice of life! We are all different with different views and opinions, different lifestyles and of course different GC and it is from others we can learn ..
Wouldnt life be dull if we were all the same!
Great Deeda maybe we should start a club, think it would be fairly exclusive ! !
Glad you think GN should be inclusive Newquay, we may not all agree but makes life interesting.
Of course I love all my family and will help when needed but I have a life too which I enjoy. Easier now now as grandchildren grown up.
Good luck with the new arrival Marysunshine hope you have great times together, enjoy.
That's right Momb-all welcome here. It's SO interesting how we all have different experiences. It's helpful to hear how others deal with different situations.
Christinefrance Although I am very involved with the grandchildren I think my husband would tell you I have the nursing instincts of Lucrezia Borgia when it comes to caring for him (He's still alive, I don't know what his problem is!) By the way we have members who aren't grandparents at all so I don't think it matters how involved you are.
Thanks mumofmadboys appreciated.
Christine. I don't think there are any norms of Gransnet. We are all different which is fine and contributes to our discussions and wealth of experience we have as a group. No- one is banished and all are welcome.
Other grans always recognise new grans. Many times I was asked is this your first grandchild? I think it's that obvious.
I have 4 DGC now and am far more relaxed about how often I see them.
I am 20 years older than you Mary, this also makes a difference, good luck.
Oh sorry Solitaire didn't realise everyone had to conform to the norms of Gransnet. I will consider myself banished.
Ohhh Retrolady you are blue (smile)
Hi retrolady .. I think to go blue you have to make your profile available for public view ..
Its good to see how many of you do spend a lot of time with the grandkids. I guess there has to be a balance between families and finding one that suits both grandparents and parents is important.
To me being a Nan is a novelty as its all very new at the moment. I have not really looked beyond the here and now but I would very much hope than this GC and any others will be an important part of my future life.. and from your posts here I see that for many of you having a 'kids space' in your home has worked out very well ..
Ooh, I didn't know that about 'blue' names! How do I make mine go blue?
The clue is in the title of course'Gransnet' which is why so many of us have responded saying that we love having our grandchildren around as much as possible. Perhaps if we weren't so grandchildren focussed we would be on a different forum.?
I've always done something similar - my grandchildren now range in age from 7 - 21, but they all have clothes, toothbrushes and toys here (for the littler ones anyway, the biggest one is at Uni doing costume design and now seems to keep a handy stash of craft materials at my house for entertainment when here!!). We've got a triple sleeper bunk bed and two fold up matresses, and it is a bit of a squash but we love being able to see so much of them!! They come to stay each weekend, and all that needs to be dropped off is the children, everything else they need is here. It has been especially valuable when there have been emergencies, i.e. my daughter was taken ill and had to be admitted to hospital unexpectedly when the eldest was 4 yrs old, so she came to stay here for a week so that son-in-law could still go to work and hospital visiting, but it meant that because she was used to staying here and had familiar things, the upset of mum being ill was minimised.
Our DGC live about an hour and a half away, I go down every Tuesday and take them out for the day,they are only aged 2 and 4 and have them for a long weekend every month.Our DS brings them to see us on Sundays sometimes when DDIL is working so like lots of you we have a spare room full of kiddy stuff. DDIL,s parents live a days journey away and do not have anything for the children so they have to take everything with them,they don't get a visit very often, do you think this is cunning plan?hmm!
Our grandchildren also live some miles away. Fortunately, I had kept a swinging crib, a cot and a high chair which converts to a low chair and table. I bought a steriliser and baby alarm from the charity shop This was very successful, in fact my daughter 'borrowed' the crib for downstairs use when they were tiny! We have a single bed with a 'roll under' in our spare room and a cupboard full of toys, games etc. We now also have a TV with DVD player in there and they bring their own Xbox and films!
We all have a different approach to families don't we. My ex husband used to say I had the maternal instincts of Herod - bit cruel but you get the drift. I love them all but enjoy my independent life as well. Thanks for joining me above the parapet thuberon.
Sorry. Newbie here. Haven't quite got the hang of it. :-)
I will stick my head above the parapet with you. :-) Also happy to help if needed but really feel I have been there and got the tee shirt.
Referring to post by Christinfrance
Yep. I am with you on that one. I am happy to do a regular babysitting session weekly and to do back up in emergency but other than that, been there, got the tee shirt. :-)
I meant it's NOT ALWAYs the case!
It's it always the case that the dad's parents are less close than the mum's . My DiL doesn't get on with the her mum and they see a lot more of us than the other grandparents.
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