The worst grandmother in the world versus the Grandma in My Grandma is Amazing book

Whitburn2 that's such a shame.
People have differing attitudes to swearing, some seeing it as absolutely fine, others not.
I guess, in your case, it depends if the DGD was doing it deliberately to be rude to you, or if it was normal talk for her.

I don't think he wants to be away from you but is missing his parents. My oldest DGD is a bit more diplomatic, she says she loves staying with me but misses her mum and dad.

Perhaps the little lad is doing what a lot of children do so very well.
Manipulate.
Play one person off against the other creating a feeling of guilt, and as such the persons involved give in and the child wins. Clever little folk.
Does his other Grandma REALLY give him the biggest ice creams ever ?? .
Any way of finding out?

Sorry DotMH that your family is suffering. Hope things settle down . Your DD is lucky to have such a patient mum. I'm sure DGS will 'settle down given time. We all behave worse with the ones we love the most.

My daughter knows how my grandson behaves - finding a way to stop his tantrums is difficult and, other than that we do get on well together. It has only been like this since his father left (twice) and both times started up a relationship with a (different) TA at the school he teaches at. My ex son in law also hit and kicked my grandson several times before he left home the first time and then denied doing it. I know my grandson is angry (more so now that his father has had a new baby with his girlfriend and has told him that he has 'moved on') but grandson is getting counselling. All three of my grandchildren have had a lot to put up with over the last two years, hoping that things will improve as they adjust to the situation.

Tell him that that's all you've got in the freezer, take it or leave it. But, you also tell him that next time he comes you'll be sure to have the biggest ice cream ever. Ask him what he's favourite is.
My DGS told me that his favourite ice cream was chocolate and I didn't forget. The next time he came for lunch I told him that I had ice cream for afters and he promptly asked me if I had remembered that he had told me what his favourite flavour was and was delighted when I told him that I had remembered. I will always remember the hugh smile he gave me.
I'm sure you're an Amazing Grandma, next time you'll have to be even more Amazing!.
We can spoil them now and again but just be careful with the biscuits!.

My youngest grandson (now13) didn't get on very well for a couple of years the I looked after him for the summer hols while his parents worked now he comes to stay every weekend and a couple of extra days during the hols

My eldest DGD (10) had the screaming abdabs in the car on the way to school just before they broke up for the holidays. It was all over a hair bobble. She thumped her sister and I had to stop the car and swap her and her little brother around. She sulked all the way to school and stomped off until I shouted her back and said "We will all walk in the gate together as usual". Her reply was "okay grandma" "But don't think I am bringing you a present from my holidays, because I'm not". "Good" said I. "I would hate for you to waste your money on me" "don't worry" she said "I only spend my money on people I actually like".

Barmyoldbat. I love your response. I'm with you.
I don't have ice creams in the freezer. My granddaughter gets a milk shake, Chocolate buttons and a magazine which we read together and do the games etc.
she doesn't seem too deprived and seems to be quite happy coming to my house. We go out and about swimming or visiting cousins.

I so agree with you BlueBelle about DotMH's DGS - being 13 is bad enough for any boy let alone one who must be confused and emotionally bewildered by all the changes in his life. He's quite possibly horrified at the words that came out of his mouth and does not know how to rectify it. A smile or a squeeze of his hand as you pass and quietly telling him you love him worked wonders with my son when he was that age and I was a single parent. When you love someone it is easy to be hurt by their carelessness and none of us are perfect all the time.

Dotmh please don't put up with talk like that from the 13 year old.

Moobox great reply . He hands me the nick Butterfield book each night for his bedtime story. I read one and he reads another. His mum is working and I have them for a week . They are going on a multiple sports course and were a bit out of their comfort zone I think being a week with me and no mum . He doesn't eat well so the mini cornettos I thought would be a treat to unwind when they got back from the course. I love them ( DGCs and mini cornettos! )

Hi I'm new to grans net I am a nana have 6 grandchildren who I love very much I don't see 4 of my granddaughters who we were so close to reason for this was one of them always used to swear at us all the time realy cheeky her mam used to laugh so when we said we couldn't look after her as we couldn't control Her we were told we would never see them again as it was wrong of us to say that am I wrong? By speaking out it is awful miss them so much it has been 3 years now jj

My daughter told me yesterday that she'd read something about dehydration causing grumpiness and unruly/naughty behaviour.

Blimey iPad you are a pain that last bit should read cuddles are for babies not idles are for barbirpes .... I wish we could edit on here

Gononsuch the treats and cuddles are fine when
a) they are little and
b) you only have them on occasions but if you are a part care taker and they are 6 foot it's a very different situation it's not as easy as it sounds
Please don't write your grandson off as a bad lad DotMH or a soon to be delinquent, at 13 and with home worries and changing hormones boys are often full of angst grumpiness anger and testosterone at that age it will tail off as he matures boys are often emotionally very immature and lash out like 2 year olds because they don't have the words or 'permission from society' to say I m hurting I need cuddles and understanding they hear how they have to be strong and big And idles are for babirpes ...it's an awful tim for some kids

My dil ( now my ex d-in-law) once told me I was a mean gran because unlike other grans I didn't buy the children Easter Eggs. I pointed out that they, along with her were fat enough without stuffing themselves full of chocolate and that unlike the other side of the family I took them out, took them away on mini bucket and spade holidays and also contributed two wards other things they needed or school trips. I am pleAsed to say my son divorced her and the children wanted to live with, which they did.

Agree with the last three posters - it is totally unacceptable for any child to use such disrespectful language to anyone, let alone a grandparent. Speak to his mother DotMH, and soon. As for the original post, I think we are getting to the stage now, with our GS, nine, where he only just enjoys being at nanny's house for a couple of nights a week during the holidays. We do lots of stuff with him, but he can't wait, these days to get back to his friends. He is sometimes grumpy but not disrespectful and woe betide him if he were.

Moobox---best reply ever!
Big ice-creams are bad for any age! Too many consider "treats" to mean calorific, additive filled junk!
Treats should be more about spending time talking and listening, joining in games, visits outdoors, books etc.
Grans shouldn't be helping to guide children towards obesity, over-indulgence and treat expectation?

DotMH1901 - that really is unacceptable behaviour which you should report to your daughter. If I were in your position I would be very upset and refuse to do anything more for him unless I got a proper apology.

OMG DotMH1901 Nan', 'just die Nan' and 'no-one wants you Nan'

I hope your daughter knows about this, that's disgusting. He's growing up with a false sense of entitlement that will screw his life up for ever. There are children in the news who are violent towards other children and family. He sounds like one in training. Daughter needs to get a grip now!

for you

Does your daughter know this is going on? She needs to have a serious talk to her son ideally with you there, telling him some home truths about their dependency on you. This is a totally unacceptable position for you to be in so don't stand for it.

I like the response from MooBox!

Parents dictate and lay down the rules.

Grandparents give cuddles and lots of treats.

I can't believe that a couple of you posters have forgotten that, lighten up, they are not children for long and then they are gone.

Ours are 3 and 5, and the son is starting to think about a family, happy times for awhile yet.

I live with my daughter and 3 grandchildren. As my daughter is now a single parent and works full time I look after them and do all the housework/cooking etc. My grandson is 13 and a real grump. He doesn't take kindly to my having the say over what happens whilst I am looking after them, or that, when my daughter says he isn't allowed his x-box and/or phone I won't hand them over to him. He is quite nasty at times, I have been told 'you've got no friends Nan', 'just die Nan' and 'no-one wants you Nan' just this morning because I wouldn't let him snatch his laptop away from his little sister who was watching something on it but told him he had to wait until she finished watching. I know he is upset about how his father has behaved and just hope that things will settle down soon - I miss the 'nice' grandson I used to have until two years ago