Struggling to bond with my grandchild

So long as there is plenty of love going from you to him, don't worry about whether there seems to be any coming back your way. Six is very young to have much in the way of loving feelings. Wait till he's older. It may surprise you. I think it most likely will.

Why does it bother you so much?

What badenkate said, especially the appreciating him for his individuality bit.

Plus, more bluntly, he doesn't have to love you or have a good relationship with you. Maybe think more about his wants (and unwants) than yours.

Some children just take longer to bond. I always think that they build deeper and better relationships than those who are more demonstrative. Just stick with it, be available and loving. He may just be a more reserved child but that doesn't mean he isn't caring

My eldest GC is reserved, was very shy as a young child and used to hold back from us and hide his face, even though they only lived round the corner and we saw him very frequently. He's always been... how can I put this? ... less than animated around adults, speaking in a monotone, mumbling, being very economical with his words. Asking him if he's excited about going on holiday used to elicit little more than a flat 'yes' spoken very quietly, or even just a "mmm", without making eye contact. I used to feel just like you Debido, that I couldn't break through this barrier and make a connection with him. And yet now he's older he's gained in confidence and he and I can sit and have long conversations about all sorts of things. I love being with him and really enjoy his company.
I just had to wait several years for that lovely close relationship which our other GC found so easy from a much younger age. So don't be too despondent - in time he may well change and become closer to you.

One of my DGSs doesn't do all the hugging bit, whereas the others do. It's just his way. I do not know whether he loves me or not, and have never given it any thought - I love him and he knows that - that is all that matters.

It sounds as if he just interacts better with other children rather than grown ups. It's probably just the way he is. I wouldn't take it personally, just accept that he's not as demonstrative as the others.

Some children are just more self-contained and private than others. I was as a small child, and I can see exactly the same in my DGD. He may never be as openly affectionate and responsive as your other DGC, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you just as much. Appreciate him for his individuality.

Ha, thanks Elrel. Think I should probably loosen up about it. Maybe they'll all go through their funny patches and his is just early on. I hope I don't react differently towards him - I certainly try not to but yes children are very sensitive.

perhaps you are expecting too much from him, all kids are different in their behaviour so it may come across that he is being difficult towards you, when in fact he isnt, he may have even noticed you behave differently towards him compared with the other grandchildren and reacting to it. Id be more concerned if he was a very badly behaved child!

Just give it time, 3 out of 4 ain't bad, to misquote Meatloaf! ?