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Grandchildren and naps

(42 Posts)
Victoria08 Sat 13-Aug-16 11:43:53

My one year old grandson has recently started refusing his morning and afternoon naps.
I look after him all day every other week. This week he just wouldn't go down.
Just wanted to play and seemed quite happy.
Trouble is his mum is quite rigid about his naps and we had words about it.
I can't force him to sleep, he is quite strong and wilful.
Apparently, he is waking up a lot in the night crying, probably teething and we think he associates sleep with pain. Who knows for sure.
I was so stressed out by it all. Very long tiring day and felt quite ill after they left.
Anyone else had this problem.

pensionpat Sat 13-Aug-16 12:22:33

It's a sad day when they give up naps! That was when I could relax a bit or catch up. They are different in when they drop them, and I could never make a child sleep when ut didn't want to. Your daughter probably feels the need to be a bit controlling because she can't be there. See how she gets on over the weekend. If the naps are successful for get she can show you the "off switch"

Christinefrance Sat 13-Aug-16 12:32:57

Well there is not a lot you can do if he doesn't want to sleep. As pensionpat says if Mum has a way of getting him off then maybe she should share it. Otherwise just have a quiet time with stories and a cuddle.
As he gets more active it will be become more tiring for you, perhaps you need to look at sharing the care.

gettingonabit Sat 13-Aug-16 13:21:56

I let out a massive groan when dd dropped her daily nap.

If he's teething, could you dose him up with some Calpol? May help him sleep knock him out.

You can't make him, though. Could you put him in his cot with some toys for a bit? Give you some peace?

Pollengran Sat 13-Aug-16 13:42:54

My GD has never napped and looking after her for a full day has always exhausted me. When she was the age that your GS is, I would sometimes make her a bottle, put her in her bouncer close to the fire and rock it with my feet. She would occassionaly drop off briefly.

Sometimes I would take her for a drive just for some respite for myself. Apart from that the only other thing you could do is to put him down and let him cry it out.

I agree with what has already been said though. If your daughter manages to get him down, ask her what her trick is.

gettingonabit Sat 13-Aug-16 13:51:22

I was going to suggest going for a drive too. That's if you drive, and have a car, of course..

Otherwise-playpen? Or are they considered outdated now?

Thingmajig Sat 13-Aug-16 16:33:29

Our DGD refuse her afternoon nap this week too, both Thursday and Friday. She is 2 and 8 months and we're all hoping it's a temporary phase!
She has been great at going up to bed after lunch and we'd have an hour or two to catch our breath have naps ourselves before her next whirlwind adventure.

Might try out the driving next week! smile

Luckygirl Sat 13-Aug-16 16:37:08

Ah - the naps - I am delighted when DGS obliges with a nap, then I can have one!

Perhaps you could politely (try to resist sarcastically!) ask DIL or DD (not sure which) if you could pop round one day and see how she gets him to nap, as you need help as you are clearly not doing it right. grin

Floradora9 Sat 13-Aug-16 18:30:10

My children never napped during the day after they were 12 months old . I envied other mums who had children who slept during the day mine just refused to do so .

Jane10 Sat 13-Aug-16 18:39:08

Its such a pity playpens are out of fashion!

SueDonim Sat 13-Aug-16 19:08:44

Will he sit in his cot and play? One of mine used to do that while she grew out of naps. She would maybe have a nap every two or three days so I used to take advantage of her being happy to play with a few toys in her cot!

Deedaa Sat 13-Aug-16 21:44:08

GS2 went on having a nap after lunch until he was three. There were some days when he stayed awake, but it usually caught up with him by the end of the week and he would be passed out bt tea time. Luckily DD and I were in agreement and both just went with the flow. No point arguing about it, they will do what they will do.

grannyqueenie Sat 13-Aug-16 21:58:43

I can remember walking for miles with a granddaughter, who was a reluctant napper, tucked up in the buggy. It wasn't exactly a break for me but not having an overtired toddler did make for an easier afternoon and a much happier teatime smile

Judthepud2 Sat 13-Aug-16 22:29:47

I did that too Grannyqueenie. After lunch walk with the child tucked into buggy everyday that it wasn't pouring with rain. Always worked a treat and kept me fit. And the wee one was in better form for the rest of the afternoon.

missdeke Sun 14-Aug-16 09:28:44

I was one of the lucky ones who never had a problem with any of my children sleeping, at night or naps. The thing that always amazes me on this kind of thread though is the way grandparents are dictated to by their children as to how the day has to be mapped out. Ok to say if you don't want your child fed sweets, junk food etc, but to dictate to the carer, usually unpaid if a grandparent, regarding planning the day is just not on. I know I would have just been everlastingly grateful if my parents/in-laws could have minded my children whilst I worked FOC and I would have expected them to just get my kids to fit in with them.

Humbertbear Sun 14-Aug-16 09:45:39

My DiL was very rigid about naps ( and everything else). I was dutifully putting my 2 and a year old grandson down for a nap every Thursday only to discover by chance that he had be refusing to nap for everyone else for months. Maybe he just wanted to get away from me?

gettingonabit Sun 14-Aug-16 10:16:57

I must admit I'm shocked at the way DPs are dictated to as well.

If someone had offered to look after dd I'd have been overcome with gratitude, especially if it were free.

Elysium Sun 14-Aug-16 10:36:33

Victoria08 - ah nap time. My DGS is 4 and still naps, but he does get up at 5am every morning. I look after him 5 days a week and he's off to school in September and I will miss the little blighter! I have always had a routine of pretending to go asleep on the sofa after I've read him a story. Within a couple of minutes he would drop off too, as I was taking a sneaky peak at him to make sure he was going, then a relaxing cuppa. All the usual things required, his blanket, curtains drawn, relaxed atmosphere and my own voice - droning on and on! Ha! He is a particularly active child, but that works miracles. He will adapt when he gets to school. So you've still got time yet.

RAF Sun 14-Aug-16 11:01:57

We insisted on an hour's break after lunch long after they started school. It was just house rules, and they had to entertain themselves initially in cots, and then in the playroom. DGC brought up differently (well some of them) but the car does send them off, we end up sitting in the car doing a crossword whilst they snooze on! Prams great for the first few months, but modern prams so small they don't fit into them for long, if the parents buy them (or let us buy them) at all.

Bebe47 Sun 14-Aug-16 11:02:22

Not easy is it ? I went to London recently to look after my grandson aged 6 months during the day for a few days who was teething!! He has a nap between 10 and 11 in his cot I was told! Oh yes? Oh no he didnt . Ended up putting him in the pushchair and going out to the park every morning with my book and all his essentials - thank goodness the weather was OK. He was asleep by the end of the road and I had a peaceful hour sitting in the park by the water with my book before he woke up for his mid Morning bottle of milk and we sat and watched the ducks. Just being on the go with a baby/ toddler at any age is tiring but at 69 !!!!

LynW Sun 14-Aug-16 11:45:53

I think when they're ready to grow out of daytime nap there's not a lot you can do. It can be difficult though when you know they are getting over tired and fighting sleep. I find with my DGS I encourage him to sit quietly next to me and I read to him gradually letting my voice go more monotone and droning on like Elysium and that often works. My DIL is very good and understands that you can't make a child sleep but is always appreciative if I've managed to get him to have a little nap and always says 'Well done Grandma!' But if it's too late in the afternoon, it goes the other way and I'm trying to keep him awake so he'll go to bed at a reasonable time. It's that difficult stage in their development between still really needing a nap and finally growing out of it. Each day different and just have to go with how he is at the time. By the way I'm new to Gransnet too like a previous poster. Loving it! You all sound so nice, well rounded and sensible (but definitely not boring!)

Jeanie1953 Sun 14-Aug-16 11:56:58

My GD has just started dropping her afternoon nap it is nightmare at the moment. She gets so passed it and is normally in bed by 5.30pm without tea but then sleeps right through til 6.30/7am. She is 2 yrs and 3 months.

Victoria08 Sun 14-Aug-16 12:38:52

Thank you grans for all your comments.

Unfortunately, he fights sleep. If I put him in his cot, he just cries and cries.
The old tried and tested method of getting of to sleep, cuddling him on chest now doesn't seem to work. He just wriggles around and wants to get down.
Am dreading another round tomorrow.
Got told of by daughter for leaving him to cry. Thought it might work.
He just got himself in a state.
He seems quite passive in buggy, but now doesn't go of to sleep.
He's a tough little nut.

Tegan Sun 14-Aug-16 12:51:57

My 18 month old granddaughter is wearing her mum and dad out with waking in the night; she stayed with me on Friday to give them a break but ended up in bed with me after waking up screaming at midnight as I'm not strong enough to lower her back down into her travel cot. I've bought that Rabbit book that is supposed to help children to sleep; I know it's a form of hypnotism but, if it works so what blush. We call it 'the boring rabbit book' because it really is boring. Supposedly if you read it every night you can then read a bit of it to help with afternoon naps as well. DS and DIL, however left it here yesterday but they have bought an audio version of it #cheating! She does still have a nap in the afternoon though but we do have to take her out in the pushchair to get her to sleep.

Pollengran Sun 14-Aug-16 13:43:45

Just another thought from me Victoria. If he is passive in his buggy could you park him in front of Peppa Pig for a little while? That would allow you the much needed sit down with a cup of tea. I am not a big fan of tv but sometimes needs must and as he is growing and changing habits your tactics may have to change too.

The other thing I learned is if you get down and play with them a lot, the time passes quicker, at least it does for me. I do breathe a sigh of relief when she says "see you later Toots" which is what she has taken to calling me smile.