Do you tell all?

Deeda A friend and I used to alternate Friday afternoons at each others' houses when the children could play together and we could chat – not, of course, without constant interruption. This was delightful because the children had fun, one house was left in an orderly state each week and one mummy didn't have to cook the children's tea each week. After they had all been fed and we were clearing up we used to treat ourselves to a glass of gin and tonic.

Imagine how I felt when I read five-year-old absentdaughter's news book. "My mummy has gin and tonic for breakfast".

I stick strictly to a Need to Know rule, coupled with What the Eye Doesn't See. GS1 doesn't often drop me in it and the little one is still a bit young. I still have vivid memories of the things that used to be written in DD's "News" book when she was at school. I think she was aiming at the News of The World

I don't tell all but I seem to be found out, GD reported to her mum "Granny bought us ice-cream". I also make my GS toast and jam mid-morning, he has picked up on the word jam and started asking for some. DIL is a dentist and sugar is very strictly controlled, "Well," she said looking at me, "he didn't learn that from us!"

I agree with other posters - I don't say the bad things if there are any but precis the fun times they have, usually with grandad! I do mention whether the little one has had a sleep though his mum usually guesses because of the matchsticks holding up my lids. They all know that its 'my house, my rules' and luckily it seems to work - most of the time

More the other way round now my two G'dtrs are at school. I'm far from perfect so there's plenty of ammunition there, but at least we all gave a laugh. I do try not to report back bad behaviour because it just sounds like moaning, unless it's something serious. Only thing recently was when g'dtr2, age 5, refused to do her reading homework because she wanted to play. I asked her Daddy to tell her that next time she had to do it. No problem since.

As soon as she walked in the door last Tuesday evening DGS (6) told his mum (DDiL)that I said the "poo poo word" (sh*t) twice!

She laughed and said "oh naughty grandma" then whispered in my ear "so they've been good then" lol

Seriously though. I very rarely report anything back unless its very important like illness/minor injuries/calpol doses etc. It's really not necessary.

Definitely tell parents all the positives and all the funnies.

I also tell them where we've been and what we did, what he's eaten as a meal and how much he's drunk. Also how much tv he's watched. DGS is on the Autism Spectrum, is very fussy about what he will eat and tells me 'Go away Grandma' if I ask what he's done in the toilet. Hence the making sure he drinks enough water and Smoothie juices!

I often have to deal with meltdowns too but only tell mum and dad that we had a 'funny five minutes' and that he's been fine since. There's no point in describing what actually happened as the poor child has no understanding of it

When I'm babysitting my daughter demands lots of photos and information! We are in touch by text all day!

When I had a new baby and was poorly in bed with mastitis my mum came to look after me the baby and my four year old. When she brought my lunch up my little son came running into the room and the first thing he said was 'Grandma burnt the saucepan!!!!' She said ' I told you not to tell Mummy that'! It's no good trying to keep things quiet when they can talk!

Glad it's not just me that photos empty plates Greyduster though I have never done the potty one
I agree that tantrums are best left untold and would never usually say things like "I will have to tell mummy" Though I did say I was going to tell her D when oldest smacked his little brother really hard but as soon as D arrived he said "nannies going to tell you anyway so I'm just saying I hit X" !
I always pass on praise.

Have to agree with that said above. Strops were dealt with and then forgotten, good behaviour praised and passed on. We have photographs of, among other things, empty plates and potties with poos and wees in! But small children are awful blabber mouths and if you put a foot wrong, mummy and daddy will certainly know all about it! "Mummy, Grandad fell in the pond - he was showing off!" (Well, he was actually!). DD phoned me up last week to say she had fainted in a supermarket. "I wouldn't have told you", she said, "but GS has told the world and his aunt, so he is bound to tell you!" And, sure enough.....

I agree, anything health related is essential, bumps, falls, Calpol etc , strops are debatable and probably best kept to myself, but I would always give full credit for achievements, milestones and generally being "good".
Oh occasional ice cream and "treats" follow the general,principle of "what happens at granny's, stays at granny's"
Nursery keep a record for parents at pick up,time and I roughly follow their example.

I tell anything that is praiseworthy, any thing that is illness related. Anything naughty I deal with at the time and do not tell the parents.