Grandaughter with Aspergers.

Tiffany Aspergers can present difficulies by itself let alone with puberty coming along as well.

Does the counsellor have good experience of Aspergers and all the possible odd behavioural issues, anxieties, obsessions etc that come with it.
I do hope the education department can sort something out soon.

Do you have an Asperger Centre nearby? PM me if you'd like to. My research was into AS in females. Subsequent to that I now run a group for women with AS.
Its not the end of the world but the age your DGD is at needs careful handling. CAMHS would probably be more use than educational services.

Jane10, yes the councillor she sees is at CAMHS. It's one of the conditions of the funding but even these appointments are a struggle to get her to go. There's an appointment coming up also one with the school and education authority so we keep hoping that some sort of understanding can be reached. I'm not sure if there is an Aspergers centre near to them, they are in the North West of England and I am 100 miles away south of them but my daughter is a good mother and does everything she can for DGD so I'm sure she will have looked into it. I myself feel totally helpless and feel like we've lost the wonderful relationship we once had.

Read all you can about Aspergers in the meantime.There are support groups ( her Mother may want this) but the more you understand it the better.

Is there any written material you can recommend Roses?

There is a proliferation of material these days on AS in females. So many books written by mothers but also by women themselves. Understanding what its like on the inside is really helpful.
Check the website of 'the girl with the curly hair'. She has AS and provides good insights and suggestions.

Information on Aspergers
www.aspires-relationships.com/articles_as_characteristics.htm

This list of Characteristics is by Roger Meyer.
My OH has most of the Social Characteristics.
A few of the Physical Manifestations.
A lot of the Cognitive Characteristics.
Many of the Work Characteristics. (Shown by numerous redundancies.)
He has an Msc with distinction as a software engineer but could never really "produce the goods" in any sensible time frame.

OH recognised many of these when I showed him this list, but has never been diagnosed and "does not want to talk about it." He is not easy to live with.
This list gives a fairly comprehensive idea of the potential difficulties people with Aspergers can face. NB Not everyone has all of these.

Its true person that every person with AS is different but the female presentation is different from the male one and girls face difficulties that boys don't. Not better or worse just not exactly the same.
Its also important that there is more to a person than just AS. Their other genetic components and their life experience contribute to how they are. Its important that the OPs GD gets the right support now.

It might also help this young woman to know about others, male and female, who have the condition. It could be very reassuring to her to know about how successful (and well known) some are. There are plenty of famous names, both past and present, who live successful lives.

There is quite a 'sisterhood' of AS. Not all websites are safe though. Your DD should maybe check the search history. There are some very odd people online some of whom promote some ideas that are a lot less than ideal. I don't want to go into this on a public forum though.

There are many books for adolescents with Aspergers, if you contact the National Autistic Society they will send you a free brochure and reading lists.
However, here are a few,
Aspects of Aspergers:success in the teens and twenties by Maude Brown And Alex Miller.Alex wrote this with her grandmother, it offers practical advice on living with Aspergers,including dealing with money, romance and daily living skills.

Revealing the hidden social code( social stories for older children and adults) by Marie Howley and Eileen Arnold.

How to be yourself in a world that's different:an Asperger syndrome study guide for adolescents by Yuko Yoshida.

For a full list of books, and to order online go to www.autism.org.uk/pubs/teenagers.

Perhaps they need to seek another counselor? You can't tell dd what to do, of course, Op, but you might suggest it. Sometimes people have to shop around before they find the fit that's right.

Thanks everyone for all your messages and suggestions. There was a meeting today with CAMHS and more help has been agreed.

Have you thought about contacting the National Autistc society they have a news letter called Asperger United ,with articles written by I.individuals with aspergers.if you would like to mail privately happy to be in touch.

There are small local ASD charities in most areas. Its worth researching what's available locally.

Sounds good, tiffaney! Hope things start to improve!

I think Anya's idea of her knowing about other people with this condition would help to eradicate her "what's the point?" attitude. Also, maybe, joining a group of teens with this problem if there is such a thing. Let her see that she can have a life.

Famous People with Aspergers

I have personally experienced incredible progress with young people and adults on many levels of the autistic spectrum from the use of equine assisted therapies using the Horse Boy method. I volunteered for a while with my local charity and saw truly incredible changes. This is in Somerset www.horseshoesandhandprints.org/ you may find the information helpful & source something in your local area.

A lot of women on Mumsnet are seeking and getting a diagnosis of Aspergers. There are support threads which are very articulate about how it all feels to be a woman with Aspergers. If you look under the Mumsnet topic heading Special Needs, sub-topic Mumsnetters with SN, you will find them. Of course the great thing about Mumsnet threads, as with GN, is that there are plenty of intriguing and useful links embedded in the threads.

My dh has Asperger traits, like NellieMoser's.

I have a granddaughter with what used to be called Asperger's. She learned almost nothing at school, got very little help and was absolute hell to live with at home.
After leaving school with 2 GCSEs she went to a further education college where she's had excellent help and support and has achieved more than we ever hoped for. She drives, works part-time and is staying on to do a HND. She is still immature and couldn't cope alone but is far happier than she ever was as a child.
People with ASD change as they grow up, like everyone else. CAMHS and counselling were no use to my GDD.

I'm so grateful for all your replies. Watermeadow, your comments are very encouraging thanks, as you say, she is 'absolute hell' to live with at the moment, and all only since puberty. (I'm sure most teenagers are like this though). She does have terrible meltdowns and takes ages to come down. Also I don't think CAMSH is helping her much either to be honest. Jane 10 I'm finding Alis Rowes writing helpful for me to understand AS too. I'm just hoping she will go back to her tutoring long enough to get some GCSEs so that she will be eligible for 6th form college and by then this episode will have become less intense.

It sounds like you need a dedicated support worker who would do home visits and give the family some support and possibly a mentor for your Granddaughter

Am not sure how these things are arranged but I know this type of support is out there as I feel I may / will need it for my Grandson with Autism when he hits the teens , he is 10 and struggling already with the whole growing up things etc plus his frustration with being not fully verbal and therefore able to express his feelings in words which we try and let him do in other ways ( apart from violence ) but his special needs school have been very good thankfully am just dreading the transition to secondary school as that is going to be a huge change for him :-(

Just ask ask ask , research research research and get ALL the help you need and keep asking / searching till you get it and there are some wonderful supportive charities and groups out there you don't find till you dig deep online etc ;-) xx

I reckon it is a difficult ''phase'' though and you have to remember that x

A dedicated support worker would be most parents of children with AS's dream!! If only such people existed. Most AS charities have outreach workers but these can be very variable in experience and training and, sadly, there is a lot of staff turnover. Also they must be funded. Currently with most Councils/Local Authorities being under acute financial pressure this is not easy to access.
I hope the OPs GD is finding the right sort of help and support. It can be from the most unexpected people at times.