Some of these posts are so sad.....but it's encouraging when people realise that good things happen when we try to change our behaviour and just be tactful and kind and patient
Katy - your little grandchild is less than a month old and you are stressing about not being 'allowed' to babysit. I expect you are being sensible and keeping your upset to yourself. Many mothers are nowhere near ready to have someone babysit such a tiny baby. Her own mum, maybe, but not her MIL....this is absolutely normal.
I have grandchildren to my daughter and also to my son (quite a new baby). I offered to help my DIL, but it was tentative and when she told me her own mum would be helping her and coming to stay, I was fine about that! That's the way things are, surely? I am pretty sure when the baby is a little older, I'll be able to help more.
Nelly, things sound as if they are going to get better, in their own way and in their own time. Your son can feedback to your DIL that you are a New Woman You are absolutely right not to jeopardise this new progress. If you have been forceful and insistent in the past, as you say you have, then it might take a long time for your DIL to be confident with you.
As someone said, it's not about us and our feelings and needs. Being jealous of the other grandparents is a horribly negative, and we can be sure others see that we are....we need to give ourselves a sharp talking to, if we feel that