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Grandparenting

granchidren moving away

(83 Posts)
Saidy17 Tue 28-Feb-17 16:24:58

After looking after my granchildren since they were born my daughter and husband have decided to move to live by the sea . I really don't know how they will manage financially and it worries me .she seems to live in dream world and thinks only about her husband however I'm always there for them . I'm devastated they are going they have many reasons which I understand to a point the children attend a great school and get nothing but praise .I'm depressed and wonder what my life will be without them .they are not leaving the country so we will behable to visit them but its over 3oo mls away We are not getting any younger and l don't drive and my husband hates it .how will we get through this

Caretaker Thu 02-Mar-17 07:22:49

What has brought the move about is it for a better job,schools,area,to get a better house? Most moves are prompted by something. If it's for to better themselves then fair enough. However if it's for something else then that's another matter.

clementine Thu 02-Mar-17 10:02:32

You have received excellent advice Saidy from all the others. I would be concerned that your sons may pick up on the vibes that you are so devastated about your daughter moving, they may feel a bit unimportant ? . You still have their children and think of the fun when all the cousins come to visit !

Send your daughter son and law and family off with a wave and a smile and plan your first trip as soon as you close the door lol though do give them some time to settle.

I have a friend who's son lives in USA and immediately she arrives home from visiting she in on line booking her next trip, in between she enjoys being retired and having time to do things without having to consult whether its possible or not due to childminding .

Also no where is that far nowadays, and even in the case of an emergency you just have to get into the car, and you will get there eventually, no worrying about getting flights or the cost !! Wishing you well .

Felix2007 Thu 02-Mar-17 11:16:47

My daughter recently moved away, not 300 miles but nearly 2 hours drive. I was very sad when they decided to move, but have seen a lot of them as we go there every few weeks, mid week, and stay a couple of days. I have been helping my daughter with unpacking and arranging/buying furniture, and get to pick the kids up from school. Don't be depressed, it may not be as bad as you think, and you still have other family. You may be able to find somewhere to buy near them, we have been looking at flats in the area, we never know what the future will hold. Keep trying to be positive, I understand how you are feeling.

Aslemma Thu 02-Mar-17 15:08:52

My eldest grandson has always been close to me but I am well aware he will be moving to Japan when he has his degree at the end of the year. He has spent a lot of time there over the past few years and now has a lovely Japanese girlfriend who we have all met. Japan isn't as easy to visit as Europe, let alone the English seaside and of course I shall miss him terribly, as will the rest of the family, but we are glad he has the chance to follow his dream. I wish him well and will keep in touch through Viber.

patricia5 Fri 03-Mar-17 04:19:53

Hi saidy, I can understand your feelings. Talk about this with your son. Ask them to live in the reality. Somehow, life has to move on.

Starlady Sat 04-Mar-17 16:51:56

Haven't read all the posts so sorry if this has already been said... You and dh love to travel? Great! Then you won't mind so much if you have to travel to see dd and family. Also, perhaps, sometimes, they will come and stay with you a few days if that would work. Maybe even just the gc sometimes.

Also, please don't forget there are other ways to keep in touch in between visits - Skype, facetime, cards, letters, etc.

I know this must have come as a shock to you and that you will miss dd and her kids very much. I'm so very sorry. But since ds and family live close by, perhaps it will help to think of it as having the best of both worlds. You get to be the nearby gps, who often see ds and family and maybe are called on to childmind sometimes, etc. But you also get to be those long distance gps, the "special treat," who send fun cards and gifts and come to visit from time to time.

Norah Sat 04-Mar-17 17:06:00

Starlady is spot on with the travel aspect. Enjoy!