Grandson is rude.

Whatever you say SAAk, but I don't agree with you.

Its fine chew you don't need to.

When my children were little they had two series of books: "Horrid Henry" and "Kitty" by Bel Mooney. Both Henry and Kitty were sometimes very rude and got themselves into trouble with their bad behaviour. Neither of them were "bad" children, but frustrated with life and couldn't always express themselves very well.

I read to/with my children every night until they could read on their own. Both of them loved these books and I could tell they related to them and we talked about the stories. My son went through a bit of a moody stage and he came out with things like "Henry shouldn't have done that, should he?" My son was never rude to me, but if he did something I didn't like, I'd sometimes remind him of Henry or Kitty. He's grown into a kind, caring and considerate young man.

If your GDS is into reading (or has somebody to read to him),it might be worth trying. He'll be able to see the effects of behaviour on others IYSWIM. I'm not really doing the books justice - they're very well written, funny and warm.

So sorry this is happening, Boppity.

Love the idea of just acting surprised and saying, "Well, then I don't want to do..." Gs may change his tune very fast.

I'm glad you're going to talk to ds about it though. He should know and he may be able to nip this in the bud better than you can since he's the dad.

I agree that he has probably heard someone else doing this and thinks it's "funny" or "cool." But that doesn't change the fact that it needs to be stopped.

Swanny, IMO, you need to talk to your gs' parents, too.

Good luck, ladies!

I do think most kids go through a phase like this especially when the boys start school. A bit of pushing the boundaries creeps in and a bit of rudeness seems fun to them. When you love them so much it does hurt. Tell him it hurts you and let him see you are upset then just carry on as normal - he will soon learn. Kids do need to be taught right from wrong but also at the young age of five/six they are learning and experimenting. It's very easy to take a comment to heart when a lot of the time they are just 'saying it' and don't even realise it hurts.

Does anyone else remember reading My Naughty Llittle Sister and Bad Harry to their children? Or Just William? Great stories with a message !

Tell him the feeling is mutual.

Hi BoppityBoo, try not to let it upset you. My granddaughter sometimes says these things, to which I reply well I'm sorry you feel like that because I love you very much, or if it's regarding a day out then I just say I'm sorry you didn't have a nice day, I had a wonderful time because I spent it with you. I know she doesn't mean it.

I think the boy's mother should speak to him and tell him to show some respect to his grandmother. No child should be rude to their elders and they should be taught that. It is doing the boy a disservice by being allowed to continue to act in an anti social manner. I have four grandchildren and the minimum I expect from them is politeness. As it happens, they are all delightful children, but I put this down to their mother who doesn't let them get a way with anything she doesn't approve of.

I would try fake crying and wailing..........just kidding.

It's a joke, kids sense of humour isn't all that sophisticated you know.

Come back hellymart, I want to agree with you! Take no notice of other people's posts - they're saying them in one "voice" but you're reading them in another. I'm sure nobody meant to upset you.

I'm inclined to say he's picked up this way of talking to people from somewhere. My 5yr GS says similar things. I used to run a preschool and would warn parents that once they start school they learn to tell lies! Today's juniors learn from videos & computer games and some parents seem to think it's acceptable for their children to copy the language they pick up from this. I would sit your GS down and tell him that his words are hurtful and that they make you feel sad. It won't stop him saying silly things but he does need to know that. I say to my GS I love you but I don't like the words you've just said and try to distract him from the nasty comments. We grandmums have a role to play in helping to bring up pleasant human beings so don't put up with nasty comments, he needs to know they're hurtful to people.

I wouldn't take it to heart, he might have picked it up from someone he knows. However I would say to him 'How would you feel if I said that to you?' That would make him think at least about the affect his words have on other people.

Six year olds say a lot of things they do not mean. They have not learned the art of relationships with other people. He might think he is being funny perhaps? Don't make a big thing of it.

Agreed 100% glammyP. Young children pick up so much once they start school and not all of it is positive. They hear a bigger or older kids saying something and just repeat it without really understanding it's meaning or its impact. Parental and grandparental guidance will help to redirect them.

Hi BoppityBoo, how awful for you. How would you have reacted if this had been your child in the past? I would get down to his level and look him in the eye ( make him stop what he is doing) and tell him how rude he is. Ask him how he would feel if you were rude or nasty to him. If he doesn't stop then explain to him that you won't be taking him out that day. He needs to learn how to behave. I love the other suggestions a getting a book and reading it with him, it would open up the discussion and the opinion of what's right would be coming from the reading matter and not you. How lucky he is to have a nana who loves him so much x

I think its so important to get the message across that its totally unacceptable to act like this.
Does he just do this to you or others as well?
To be a happy, successful (in the true sense) person he needs to learn to treat others with the respect he would like to be treated.
I agree with Granny Piper and would add that next time he does this I'd say, "I love you but I'm not prepared to put up with this rudeness' and leave the room. Then when he reappears ask if he's ready to apologise.It will be hard being firm and consistent if he is a strong willed child but really, what alternative do you have? At the moment his behaviour is being condoned and won't stop of its own accord. He'll thank you in the long run.

BobbityBoo
Your grandson is picking this up from TV or school.
IGNORE IT as frustrating as it may be,turn your attention away from him but when he observes it falling on stony ground the novelty will wear off.
Have words with his parents but I am sure this is a phase your grandson will grow out of if you let it.By not allowing the child to get your attention, to these silly little comments, which it seems is what he wants.

My DGS is 4 and although he doesn't say 'hate' .... He's obviously practising his control behaviour!!!
His favourite is "I'm not going to hug you/kiss you any more" usually when I say No, you can't have another biscuit, ice cream or other treat.

I ignore him and know it's ridiculous to be upset by a 4 year olds antics, but it hurts my feelings. Then I tell myself to grow up .... Playground talk isn't it .... And 5 minutes later he's back to normal.

KIDS EH!

I think you should just say 'How rude!' and change the subject! The less attention he gets for saying unkind things the better. Maybe he does think it's funny so make it clear you don't!

If you decide to react to this, young children often accept a lesson through stories. eg tell a story about a boy who has some good friends, but they change, and don't want to play with him any more. Does this make him sad? or angry? What does he do about it?

Yes I'd talk to the parents, and I'd I'd either casually turn my back on child as soon as he says it, not making reaction obvious cos that's what he s looking for, any reaction. Or I'd walk casually to the kitchen every single time with no response at all. He ll get the message

I wouldn`t have that little horror in my home until his parents teach him some manners. If he`s not stopped he will go on to be a bully to some other child and make their life a misery.

I can understand how hurtful this must be. Can I add that I have not been allowed to see my grandchildren for 5 years. My son married a Ukranian, who is jealous, manipulative, and vile. The way to hurt me is to stop me having contact with my son or grandchildren. I have now found that there are over one million grandchildren in this country who cannot see their grandparents,99.9% is due to the daughter - in -laws. We have now got together and have lobbied Parliament to change the law which presently only allows access through the courts if grandparents have parental control. Please add your name to our petition- very easy google petition 188381 and click. To get parliament to change the law we need 100,000 signatures by September. Please pass this on to family members, friends, work colleagues- every click counts. Childrens Human Rights are being refused, and hatred put into their heads. This affects every aspect of their lives, home life, school life, and missing the love and knowledge grandparents can pass on. We are the only country that has this legal ruling. The hatred put into their little minds is like the jihadists. We have Esther Rantzen involved, and Vanessa Lloyd Platt( great divorce lawyer) advising us on the law.
Just Google :188381, and help to take the misery from grandparents and grandchildren.

It sounds like he is testing his boundaries and it seems very normal. If he gets a reaction, he'll just keep doing it. If he was my Grandchild I'd probably laugh it off with, "I'm not always so fond of you when you are trying to be hurtful." I'd get his parents to explain what a joke is and that it is not funny if it is hurtful. He will grow out of it and his sense of humour will become more mature. Maybe you can teach him by example of a more gentle way of teasing.

Sounds like he's trying to play you like a hooked fish. Children go through stages where they're continually checking out the boundaries, and perhaps looking for some reaction. I'd calmly sit down with him and his parents and explain that his behaviour is not acceptable, and will end up hurting him as much as anyone else. "Blowing your top" about it is definitely not the way to go, and may well be just the reaction he's looking for. Softly, softly...