Passing down family name

Our son's name broke a five generation tradition but DH was adamant there had been enough men in the family with his name!

My first name is after my Grandmother and I hate it, thankfully I go by my middle name, my Husband has his Dad's name as his middle one and he dislikes that too.

Definitely the parents' choice. Sad for DGD but after all, he's a grown up!

I agree with the view that if the child is healthy that is the most important thing. It is not worth getting upset about a name - just appreciate the joy of having a new baby in the family.

My first husband came from an Irish family & all the first born boys were Michael & the first born girls Ann. We gave our first son Michael as a middle name & never had a girl. My eldest son carried on middle name & younger son gave my Dad's name a second name.
I think it is daft to give the same first name as dad as every time a letter arrives for them no-one knows who is is for with 2 Mr D Smiths in family etc.
I think it may be time to move on TBH.

Sorry. Meant to be, when as adults.

Family names continued on my fathers side and I have had to go through all family photos to differentiate who is who for future generations.

I do Ancestry trees for friends and have enormous problems sorting out who is who because of reusing boys names down through the generations. Often back In The 19th century if the first born died, the next boy would be given the same name, which makes it even more difficult to pin down dates.

My DD and SIL liked the name of Tom for their son, but couldn't use it, as the initial in front of their surname would have been rather embarrassing. Think Trotters Independent Traders.

I think to say couples defer to the mum is both questionable and possibly unfair. In our experience it has been a joint decision. I have to admit our latest DGS went nearly 2 weeks before they settled on a name (perhaps because of his traumatic arrival) and when I heard the names they were considering I zipped my lip and prayed they would abandon some of them!! But the name does NOT define the child, rather the other way round. As a teacher I was put off some names for life by some kids, but of DD and SIL had chosen them I would have put up with it??
It is not our business to be hurt or otherwise by the baby's parents' choice .
And to say one's "husband is so hurt" ????
No hurt was presumably intended, none should be taken.

Digressing slightly, anyone who has dug around in their family history on the 19th century censuses may have found that one child in the family will have a surname for a Christian name, when I first started doing genealogy I would puzzle over what I considered a strange first name, until I realised that it was invariably the mother's maiden name and the desire to pass that name down a generation or two was often quite prevalent in the 19th century.

My dad wondered if I'd keep my maiden name as part of a double barrelled surname. I would have loved to oblige ( no boys in the family) but that would have made me Corney-Crisp, sounded like something in the Sainsbury's cake aisle lol !

I think you will have to respect the parents' wishes and just love the baby. These days you are lucky if the parents don't opt for 'Bleach' or 'Neasdon'. Some pop star woman has called her child 'Bear'.

My DH and I tried to be inclusive and tactful in our choice of names but also wanted to pick names which could belong to respectable, established and successful adults. We added the DH's father's name as a second name and my surname (which I had kept as a teacher) as a third middle name. My mother still made rude fun of one of the names we were considering. As parents you can't please everyone.

By total coincidence we chose a boy's name and a girl's name which were at the top of 'The Times' list of popular names for their respective years.

I can understand that your husband is a bit hurt but times have changed a lot now. I was named after my maternal grandmother just her first name, however my mother was upset that my father would not agree to me having her second name as well (which was a Scottish surname) which was quite traditional apparently. My mother-in-law told me she had broken family tradition by naming my husband a name of her own choosing simply because she was not going to be told what she should or should not call her baby.Apparently she did not get on with her in-laws and this added more fuel to the fire! Generations ago it was more of the done thing .Nowadays with lots of books on baby names and the meanings of the name as well it's lovely to be able to choose from a much bigger variety than there seemed to be generations ago.

Oh don't worry yourself about a name. I'm sure you know the important thing is that they have a healthy baby. I'm racking my brains to remember my GDs middle name .... I can't! Enjoy your new grandchild ?

Just as an aside in my Grandmothers family there were 11 children , the first was called Lily and so was the 11th. They went by the names Big Lil and Little Lil all their lives :-)

Sorry but as it's their child, it's really their choice. In time the child will completely fit the name and you will wonder why this was such a big thing .

We were under pressure from the parents in law to follow this tradition when out first child was born, but we didn't like the name and we chose names we did (and still do) like. My mother in law made clear her displeasure, but I ignored her comments, didn't want to sour relationships, they were, and still are, my DHs parents. After all, we chose the names. it was our right to do so. My DH also didn't want our child to have have his name as he didn't like it either, and the name was only used for 3 generations anyway.

We had that in my late husband's family, with the resultant Big Katy, Little Katy; Big Mary, Little Mary; Lizzie; Lizzie Anne; etc. I decided unilaterally that I would only reuse names that were free due to death. So my son has his late grandfather's and uncle's names, my daughter has new for the family names. No one kicked up any fuss.

Enjoy your new grandchild! Hey, they could have named him MoonRocks or ZiggyStardust.

I don't blame her for choosing a different one. However, I think it is nice to use the family names as middle names. My grandson has a strong but little used name, that DD threw in as a curved ball after he was born. You get used to the name very quickly as the child's character starts to fit it. Her in-law's compulsory passed down name was just David, and matched that of her late father, so no problems having that as a second middle name.

'Wife's choosing'. ?
She's the baby's mother for goodness sake! Of course she gets to choose the name.
I think you need a serious attitude adjustment towards the baby's mum if you're going to have any hope of developing a loving grandparent relationship with your baby grandson.

I suppose if the poor wee lad was going to be horatio17th Duke of Crackenthwaite then I can understand the disappointment if she's named him ziggurat Stardust. But a child with all its arms and legs in good order is all anyone needs.

My late husband was Alfred son of Alfred son of Alfred - he always wanted to be called Paul so when our son was born that was the name he chose for him. When I had our daughter my sisters in law thought I would chose Mary as her name after my Mum but I had decided that she would have a different name to save any upsets. We had thought about Clare Louise or Sarah Jane. Husband thought she looked more like a Sarah Jane so that was the choice. PS - daughter(now 38) hates her name, doesn't like Clare Louise, wouldn't like Mary (my Mum) or Eileen (Mum in law) either!! I don't like my name much and hubby didn't want his name to be used for grandsons either - my grandkiddies all have none family first names. Not worth fussing over is my view, I just love having grandkiddies

My SIL is Daniel his father and GF are Daniel, the eldest son always gets the name. Thankfully I have a DGD named after her GGM, although my DD said if they'd had a boy his middle name would have been Daniel

My DS and DIL called their second son Jake. Not a family name but we quite liked it. Then, to our surprise we found out that my DH's father was called Jake by his friends. Life is very cyclical, isn't it?

Its quite normal to have a mothers maiden name as a second name here and a grandmothers .My late dad had both with was great when we came to do his family tree after he died as he didn't know anything about his family as his mother died when he was young and the siblings were all put in childrens homes.He would have been delighted that through his name we managed to trace his family back to 1740.My own son was called after both his maternal great grandfathers and we call him the short version of his second name as we had promised we would to my husbands granny .His first name is William ,his new boss wanted to know what to call him,is it Bill or Billy or Willie or Will he asked ..."no its Sandy short for Alexander" ...his boss was a wee bit confused....lol